Gravitational Potential
by Galadriel1010
Summary: Jack is a broken man when the Doctor finds him again, and only one thing will help him heal. Of course, nothing in Jack's life is ever as easy or as benevolent as it seems.
1. Prologue

**Author's Note:** Drumroll please. Here it is, the story I've been waiting for, my first post-Children of Earth story. Not to worry, it will feature Ianto, but if it were a smooth ride, I would struggle to reach 50000 words, wouldn't I?

Prepare for the madcap ride that is, as always, NaNoWriMo.

Disclaimer: Nothing from Torchwood or Doctor Who belongs to me, nor does NaNoWriMo.

* * *

_Ianto paused, looking down the street behind them, tugging on Jack's hand. "I thought I heard something," he insisted, smiling._

_Jack shook his head fondly and followed the tug of Ianto's hand, drawing close behind him. "It's a beautiful view," he commented, resting his chin on Ianto's shoulder. "And so are you."_

_With a laugh, his young lover swatted at him, but left his hand there, resting on his arm. They looked at each other for a moment, then Ianto turned away and tugged Jack further up the hill, away from the harbour to watch the sunset over their city._

If Jack closed his eyes, he could almost have believed that Ianto was standing next to him, sharing the view of an alien planet, were it not for the fact that every time he did so he saw and heard Ianto's final breath. He looked over his shoulder, wishing for a miracle, for anything, but the deserted street of the ghost town gave him no comfort.

He kicked a stone down the street and watched it bounce and skitter away from him, losing sight of it before it came to a halt. Everything in his life now seemed like some twisted, hurtful metaphor; from the sound of his feet crunching on gravel to the empty, towering buildings of the city, from the weeds growing rank on every patch of open land and snarling the road to the call of a wild bird high above him. With happier eyes, he would have seen the promise of what this city would eventually become, but now he only saw the pain and emptiness of what it had so recently lost. He carried on his way, following the path of his stone, seeking it out even though he knew he wouldn't be able to recognise it, one stone among so many, but he had to look. He had to, because it was either that or slip away again.

For months, he had stumbled from drinking den to drinking den, lost, frightened and alone, seeking out the oblivion of drink for those precious few moments when Ianto was beside him again and all was right with the world, apart from the fact that he was steaming drunk. Even drinking to oblivion, some other drinkers had seemed to find him an attractive prospect, some had even dared to take a chance, but he had pushed them away just as he pushed away everyone else; he had made a promise, and he would keep it any way he could. Bitter and hurting, he turned his back on the world, and the world turned its back on him. Eventually, the moments of oblivion he sought became too hard to reach, he gave up too much each time, and he started the long, painful journey back to himself. He was lost, drowning in the world he had created for himself. The time had come to flee to the stars.

Gwen had tried to hold him back, had believed, maybe, that she could, that anything could be enough. Nothing could be, not now. He had believed, hoped for a while, that the world would let him be, let him have some happiness, even if it was fucked up and weird, even if it was entwined with and pushed out by what he had to give to Torchwood. But all too soon, the gates of the dream closed and reality crushed him again, telling him that he didn't get happiness, except to remind him of what he was missing. Life, love, sanity.

Ianto and Stephen's ghosts hung just out of sight in the back of his mind, followed by all the others whose deaths lay on him. Tosh, Owen, Susie, the hundreds in Thames house who he so easily forgot when he thought about that awful day, drowned in the mental mantra of IantoIantoIanto.

Ianto. Beautiful, brave, brilliant, broken Ianto, who had given Jack so much and taken all that Jack had left when he died. He didn't mind, though, he had always regretted that he didn't have more to give to him, but now at least he knew that he couldn't give of himself what he had given to Ianto. There wasn't anything left to give them.

He turned a corner and raised his hand to shield his eyes from the fierce glow of the alien sun setting in glory directly in front of him. The road ran all the way down to the sea, and the golden-orange blaze turned the lilac sea into a rich pink, shimmering with plum and rose sparkles, and with the rise of three deep blue islands clustered almost in the middle of the bay. It was a beautiful sight and he sat down in the middle of the road to watch it. "Oh Ianto," he whispered, pressing his fingers to his lips. "There's so much I wanted to show you, so much you should have seen. You see, it's not all monsters out here."

The sun sank lower and lower, the vista before him darkening into shades of plum and petrol, and the line between sea and sky smudged away, the difference only visible in the sparkling stars wheeling overhead, such a different picture to the one he'd seen for so many years in Cardiff. New constellations, new stars, new possibilities; Ianto would have come up with such wonderful names for them. He always loved to lie on the Millennium Centre roof and watch the clouds, painting stories with the things he could see, and Jack loved to listen to him, loved to try to believe him. Now all he saw was a billion balls of gas, so far out of reach that they might as well be merely pinpoints of light scattered by some benevolent creator. Why believe in the worlds when to him they couldn't exist?

The night was still and warm, and the stones beneath him still gave off the heat they'd soaked up during the day. His coat wasn't necessary, so he had it folded carefully beside him for the moment. It would turn much cooler soon, and he would need it again as more than the emotional suppport it represented.

In such a quiet night, sound carried extremely well. Carried on the breeze, his keen hearing picked out a familiar grinding, whirring and sucking noise. He closed his eyes and leaned back against the wall, not watching as the TARDIS materialised close by him, nor as the door opened and his old friend stepped out, studied him with surprise and concern dancing in his ancient eyes for a moment and finally came to sit next to him. He only opened his eyes to stare up at the stars when the Doctor spoke to point out, "This isn't Casillion Six."

"No," Jack agreed, pointing vaguely towards in front of them. "It's over that way."

"Jack."

"Doctor."

"Why am I here?"

Jack turned to look at him at last, his face a blank mask. "Would saying, 'I don't know, you flew here' be the right answer?"

"Not exactly," the Doctor explained. "You see, I didn't fly here. I flew over there," he waved his hand in the direction that Jack had pointed. "And I ended up here. Somehow, for some reason, I landed right on this street, right at this moment. Do you know why, Jack?"

He shrugged and turned back to the stars, still trying to work out whether he was happy or hurt. "I'm guessing it has something to do with my 'condition'?" the quotation marks and question mark dropped into place in his voice.

The Doctor folded his legs and rested one elbow on his knee with his chin cupped in his palm and stared down to the sea front. "It might do, I suppose."

"You mean you genuinely don't know?" Jack laughed bitterly and without humour. "Well, that's a first, I suppose."

"I don't know everything, Jack," the Doctor chided.

"_Not like someone," _Jack's mind added. The time had come, he had to keep running, running with someone who wouldn't ask questions as long as they weren't asked of him in return. He shook his head and closed his eyes again. "Got room for a passenger in that spaceship of yours, Doctor? I could use a lift."

"You want to talk about it?"

"Not yet," he shook his head fiercely. "Not for a long time."

He watched Jack for a while longer, then fished in his pocket and held out a key on a piece of string. "I've always got room for you, Jack. You'll need your key back, though."

Jack opened his eyes to stare at the swinging key, then took it from the Doctor's grasp carefully. "Thank you," his voice betrayed him, choked with emotion, and he felt a warm hand fall onto his arm.

"You're welcome," he stood up and offered Jack a hand, then watched as Jack picked the coat up carefully and turned back to the view. "When you're ready, just come on in, okay?"

"Thanks, Doctor," he managed a watery smile and took one last look down the street. He swiped his hand across his eyes and closed them tightly. "I promise Ianto, I will never forget you. I will take you with me, wherever we go. I just wish you were really with me now, I have so much to show you."

The doors to the TARDIS stood open, with her warm glow bathing the gravel in honey-gold light. He rested a hand on her doors and felt her thrum in greeting, then took one last look around the city that would become the artistic heart of the galaxy, and stepped inside.

The TARDIS pulsed around him and he rested his hand on the upright strut, leaning against her for support. The Doctor was leaning on the central console, hands in his pockets, watching Jack closely. Jack avoided his eyes and eventually he got the message and pushed off, strolling around the room and flicking switches. "Just you and me then, Jack. This is a first, isn't it? I should have done it before now, really..." he came to a stop in front of Jack and studied his face, nodding slightly when Jack finally met his gaze. "Are you alright?"

He shook his head. "No, but I'm as alright as I get."

The Doctor considered saying something more, but something dissuaded him and he turned away again, flicking more switches and turning dials. "Anywhere you want to go in particular?"

"_I want to see New York," Ianto told him with a smile, turning his head on the pillow to look at him. Jack rolled onto his side and rested his hand on Ianto's hip. "Just for a while, I couldn't live there, but I so want to visit. Have you ever been?"_

"_Yeah, a long time ago," Jack grinned and pulled Ianto closer, snuggling against him. "When it was such a new city..."_

"No," he swallowed and shook his head, turning away from the Doctor's gaze. "Nowhere in particular."


	2. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**Total wordcount = 5907.

* * *

The Doctor pulled his coat on as he stepped out of the TARDIS doors and sniffed the air, turning slowly on the spot with his hands in his pockets and grinning up at the orange sky. "See that, Jack, the sky is orange! I've not seen an orange sky for years."

"Me neither," Jack agreed as he followed him out, his own coat stowed safely somewhere in the TARDIS. He'd returned to his old jeans and T-shirt look, dispensing with the 40s styling that had told anyone who could read it 'this is Captain Jack Harkness of Torchwood, tread carefully'. He looked younger like this, somehow more vulnerable and smaller, and the Doctor grew more worried about him with every day they spent together. The excitement, the love of life that had been so characteristic of the Jack Harkness he knew was gone, replaced with a timidity and sadness that no one who had known him in the past would believe. It wasn't hard to figure out that something had happened to take it away from him, nor what it was. For Jack to be travelling alone like this, so damaged and hurting, he had to have loved and lost, and lost recently at that.

He hid his concern in raised eyebrows and expansive gestures, bouncing from planet to planet in an attempt to find something that would catch Jack's interest, something that would get back the man that he'd been, but nothing worked. Jack's smiles were lies, his silences were empty and his words were carefully chosen and controlled. He was trying so hard to be the person that he thought the Doctor expected and wanted him to be, but his heart wasn't in it, and that was the most important part of Jack Harkness; the part that had been left behind when Jack had left his team in Wales.

Jack was watching him guardedly, clearly having caught him out worrying, so he turned away and waved expansively at the view. "Lovarion Six, Jack. Beautiful world. Eight continents, hundreds of nations, two dominant species now living peaceably alongside each other, although they were at war for centuries, millennia..."

"You've been before?" Jack asked, standing behind him and looking down the valley towards the coastal town.

"Yeah, while back now, before I met you, Jack. Got involved in a hostage situation with the Bachian princess, lovely girl. She's a Calthat, and she was kidnapped by a group of Vorians from Lucra. It got sorted though..."

"You mean that you sorted it?" Jack asked with one of those 'I want to smile, but I've forgotten how' smiles.

He shugged and conceded the point. "Well, maybe, a bit. It wasn't all me though, she was brilliant! Oh what a woman, Jack, you'd love her. I wonder, what year is it?"

Jack checked his wriststrap. "3645 in the local calendar."

"3645, 3645 brilliant!" he beamed. "She's just come to the throne, then, got forty years of rule ahead of her, during which time she will bring peace to most of the world. Of course, it's still a bit rough at the moment, but worth a visit, don't you think?"

"Lead the way," Jack told him.

"Right, back into the TARDIS, then, we'll park closer," he whirled around and dove through the doors, waiting until Jack entered and closed the doors behind him before he pulled the lever. They lurched violently and the readouts went mad, so he played whack-a-problem until they came to a stop. He released his white-knuckled grip on one of the handles and straightened up, brushing down his coat and grinning. "Well then, ready to meet her?"

Jack rolled his eyes and let go of the pillar slowly and gingerly, shaking his head slightly in what the Doctor was fairly certain was exasperation. "Always," he told him, looking at the door. "Should I change?"

"No, I... why not?" he grinned. "Let's both change. What do you think, suits?"

"Not suits," Jack insisted vehemently, the most definite reaction the Doctor had got out of him yet, but then he was subdued again, strolling around the console towards the wardrobe. "I was thinking of something more suitable for the weather, I'm going to pick up a jumper."

"Okay, well I'll wait for you here," he gestured to the console, trying to indicate that there was something he needed to do. "Stop her wandering off without us," he sighed as Jack disappeared around the door and leaned as casually as he could on the clearest patch. "Oh Jack, what happened? What brought you here? What broke you?"

Jack eventually reappeared with a black jumper over his arm, which he then packed into a rucksack with a couple of bottles of drinks, a camera and a small box of practical items that might come in useful. The Doctor snorted when he saw him putting that in and Jack glared up at him from his position on the floor. "Hey! Things tend to happen when I'm with you, you never know when you're going to need Duct Tape."

"You know me, Jack, I come prepared. I have everything we could possibly need," he pointed to his pockets. "Bigger on the inside, remember?"

"Yeah, well, just the same," Jack shrugged the rucksack onto one shoulder and gestured to the door. "Shall we?"

They stepped out into a warm courtyard, with cream stone tiles on the floor and green-blue walls surrounding it. There were large windows set into the walls, with light, colourful curtains drifting in the slight breeze coming through the palace, and a small archway in one side. In the centre of the courtyard was a small fountain, shaped like a bowl with the outer of a pinkish stone, and the inner lined with tiles of blue, green and red metals. It was an idyllic place, the sort of place he tried to bring Jack to, to give him a chance to stop and heal. Of course, it never quite worked like that.

He pulled a face at the guns pointed at them and raised his hands, affecting boredness. "If you tell Queen Simra that the Doctor has come to visit, I'm a friend, honest."

One of the guards lowered his gun slightly, but the other kept it up. Jack was tensing at the Doctor's side, and he could tell that it was very close to going wrong. The guard looked between them. "You're the Doctor?"

"That's me," he grinned. "You've heard of me!"

The other guard relaxed slightly and some of the tension went out of Jack as well. The first guard put his weapon away completely. "If I asked you to prove it?"

He considered showing them the psychic paper, but they would probably see straight through it, and just having the stuff was no proof of his identity, so he just pointed over his shoulder with his thumb, both hands still raised. "That's the TARDIS, my ship, I can't prove it any more than that..."

They looked at each other and the leader – or braver – of the two went around them to look inside the TARDIS. The one still covering them looked past them to him and, at some signal they didn't see, put his weapon away as well and bowed low. "Please accept our most humble apologies, Doctor. As you can understand, we must still be wary of strangers."

"Quite right too, although I prefer to think of strangers as friends I just haven't met yet, don't you, Jack?"

Jack lowered his hands and frowned. "That depends on how I meet them," he was tensing up again and the Doctor turned to him and laid a hand on his arm gently.

"Jack, you're allowed to have the initial reaction of wanting to punch him in the face, but you have to get past it, okay? I'm sure he's lovely once we lose the guns, aren't you..."

He waved a hand and the guard got the message. "I am Captain Fasti, this is Captain Furanga. We are guards of the palace, although you probably guessed that," he conceded at the Doctor's clearly faked look of surprise. "Anyway, if you would follow us, I'm sure that her majesty will be pleased to see you, Doctor."

"I'm sure she will," he agreed, grinning again. "Oh, I'm sure she will."

They walked in silence through long, pale corridors lined with paintings and sculptures. Highly decorated archways allowed glimpses into more courtyards and darkened rooms with shining mosaiced floors and low tables surrounded by cushions, or scattered benches around thick rugs. The corridor they walked along went straight through the middle of the complex, as far as the Doctor could tell, and the courtyards appeared only on their left. Their footsteps rang and echoed along the corridor in strange melodic tones, leaving an impression of some ethereal music in their minds long after the sound had faded away. The guards were silent and somewhat wary, having caught some of Jack's mood in all probability. Even the beauty of this place didn't seem to touch him. Well, they'd see just how much he'd changed when he met Simra.

At the end of the corridor, they turned right into a large ante-room. There were two rows of columns down the length of the room, and beyond the columns, against the walls, there were stone benches and tables of a silvery wood, covered with dark cloths, on which stood plates of pastries and cakes, delicate bowls filled with fruit and decorated bronze jugs of water and wine, with smaller bowls and glasses standing by them in stacks for visitors to sample the foods. Between the tables stood stone basins on pedestals of a silver metal that didn't look strong enough to support them. The guards left them, telling them to make themselves comfortable, and the Doctor walked over to one of the basins, flicking it with his finger. "Look at these, Jack!" he beamed. "The bowls are made of adni, which keeps the water warm. All they need to do is put the bowls in a heating room over night and then fill them with warm water and you have warm water all day! Isn't that brilliant?"

"Yeah," Jack agreed, leaning against the table and taking in everything in the room. There was some of that wonder back in his eyes, at least, but it was drowned by the sadness there. Jack Harkness should never look that sad, because he took you along with him.

The Doctor leaned on the basin, watching his own reflection, then washed his hands quickly and went to one of the tables, picking up a plate and studying it. "Beautiful craftsmanship, I knew this world was going places! You should eat something, Jack, you've not eaten all day, don't think I haven't noticed."

"I'll live," he pointed out, but came across to the table the Doctor was at anyway and also picked up a plate. He picked up a small pastry and a bright yellow fruit and put them on his plate, then got a glass of water and went to sit down on one of the benches. The Doctor had piled his plate high with delicacies and had one in his mouth already when he sat next to Jack and stuck his legs out in front of him.

"I should do this more often," he announced to the air, wiggling his toes inside his shoes. "I forget how wonderful these places are."

Jack made a non-committal noise of agreement again and set aside his now empty plate. "So, Doc, how did you meet her?"

"Weeell..." he rubbed his ear. "I guess I rescued her. Got into the middle of the conflict by accident and wandered into a hostage situation. One thing led to another really, and..."

"World peace?" Jack guessed.

"Pretty much," he agreed. "Oh, it took time, but they managed it. Meanwhile, Simra and I went to some amazing places. You'd like her, Jack, you will like her."

"Why did she leave?" he didn't look up.

"Ah," the Doctor sighed. "Her father died, and she had to come back here and take the throne. She asked me to stay, said that she needed a king, but she didn't really. She's fine on her own."

"Yeah, I'm sure she is," Jack agreed, crossing his legs in front of him and saying no more.

They waited another five minutes, during which time the Doctor had stood up and taken to wandering around the room, studying the carvings on the pillars. Jack stayed where he was, studying his hands intensely. Finally, the huge double doors at the end of the room opened and Captain Furanga stood in the doorway. He bowed low again. "Doctor, her majesty is waiting for you and your guest. She apologises for the delay."

"Not to worry," he grinned. "Her hospitality cannot be faulted, at the very least. Come on, Jack," he shoved his hands in his pockets and waited by the door for Jack to join him, then wandered into the much smaller chamber within. This was Simra's private chamber, and she was sitting behind a desk, with her elbows resting on the desk top and her hands clasped against her cheek. She beamed when she saw him and stood up, gliding around the desk to embrace him. "Simra, you're looking wonderful."

"Doctor," she stood back to look at him. "You have changed."

"You haven't," he told her. It was only a few years since he'd seen her left, and although she had filled out slightly, that was probably due more to the more sedate pace of life that she now led than due to time. Her deep green eyes glittered with excitement and were highlighted by the mint-green gown she wore. It hung lightly off her figure, accentuating her curves with the dark green embroidery around the hips. Like the dominant species on so many planets, the Calthat were humanoid, but with that characteristic dark orange skin. The Doctor realised that he was staring and stepped back to introduce Jack. "This is my friend, Captain Jack Harkness. Jack, don't," he warned with a smile.

Jack faked a smile back and bowed low, taking Simra's hand and kissing it. "It is a pleasure to meet you, your majesty."

Her smile softened and she curtseyed. "Captain, it is an honour to meet a friend of the Doctor's. Although, may I ask what brings you both here? It is not like him," she gestured with a sharp movement of her head. "To make return trips to places he has visited."

"Yeah, I noticed," Jack rolled his eyes. "I think I'm some strange exception, I'm on my, what, fourth time around, Doctor?"

"Yeah, can't get rid of you."

"Hey, you came after me, remember?" Jack rolled his eyes and released Simra's hand. "I don't know what he'd do without me, some days."

"Yes, well," the Doctor didn't take his eyes off Jack, watching the way he tried to fake his usual enthusiasm. "Anyway, Jack and I were just bouncing around, you know, and I thought I'd come pay a visit, introduce you two..." because an attractive, single lady with a taste for adventure like Simra should have raised his interest a lot more than she did.

The interest on Simra's part, however, wasn't lacking. She smiled up at Jack, leaning to touch his arm and giving instructions for a full meal to be laid out in the next room, with Jack and the Doctor on either side of her, then led Jack to sit next to her on a sofa by the window, whilst the Doctor sprawled in an armchair. She chatted animatedly, telling them both of the advances her country had made, the annoyance of brokering trade agreements, the jostling within the family for succession and the spanner thrown into the works by her adopted daughter. The Doctor leaned forwards when he heard about that. "You have a daughter?"

"Yes, darling little thing, her name is Paro. Paronilya Gathray Andira in full, she's in school at the moment. I hope you'll stay long enough to meet her?" she tipped her head on one side in invitation.

He grinned. "We'd love to, wouldn't we, Jack?"

For the first time since they had sat down, Jack smiled, albeit tightly, and nodded. "It would be a pleasure."

There was a knock at the door and a female servant opened it at Simra's call, curtseying. "The lunch is ready, your majesty. Is there anything else you require?"

She shook her head, vibrant red curls bouncing on her shoulders. "Thank you, Lillan, that is all. Doctor, Captain?"

They stood and entered the small dining room, where another silvery-wood table was heavily laden with meats, cheeses, vegetables, fruits and yet more pastries. Simra gave up on trying to engage Jack and returned her attention to the Doctor, asking him now about the adventures he's had without her. Jack excused himself for a moment to use the toilet and she leaned in towards the Doctor. "What is the matter with him?" she asked in concern.

The Doctor shrugged sadly and watched the door. "I don't know, I've never seen him like this before. We've been back together for a couple of weeks, and he won't tell me. Try to get him to talk, will you? I can't help him if I don't know what's wrong..."

They were discussing Simra's first trade agreement with an alien planet when Jack returned to the table, sitting down in silence again and looking up when they too fell silent and stared at him. "What?"

"The Doctor," Simra glanced at him on her other side. "Tells me that you are a soldier? Your title suggests it as well."

He shook his head minutely. "I haven't been a soldier for a long time, your majesty."

"Call me Sim," she told him with a slight frown.

"Then call me Jack," he smiled falsely. "I've left my fighting days behind me now. Too many hollow victories and desolate losses."

"War is often like that, I think," she agreed gently. "It is always best to put it behind one."

Jack nodded his agreement and dropped his gaze to the table again, giving the Doctor and Simra the chance to exchange worried glances. He had barely touched his food, yet again.

After the meal, Simra gave them a tour of the gilded corridors, chatting animatedly with the Doctor about the artworks lining the corridor, most of which celebrated the end of the war and the beginning of peace. Jack followed behind them, his heavier steps adding a harmony to their tune. Eventually they entered the grand hall of the palace, where two rows of guards in ceremonial uniforms snapped to attention down each side of the hall. Simra ignored them and swept down the hall; the double doors swung open before her and she emerged onto the front courtyard, twirling around with her arms outstretched and laughing, face turned to the sun. "Doctor, Jack, welcome to Bachia, my country."

They came up behind her and joined her looking out over the capital city. It was right on the coast, and the sea glittered in the sunshine, the light blue and rich orange an eye-jarring contrast. The city was a mix of cream and dark stone, with low slung mansions clustered around the bottom of the cliff below the palace, then a hotel district along the coast and a high rise business district behind it. The business district formed a spine spreading out into the main city, with shopping streets down either side of it, and then the residential city, dotted with shopping areas, spread out away from the coast. On the far hillside, a glittering citadel of glass and the cream stone was being built. "Pain in the backside," Simra told them with a sigh, "I wanted it to be closer, but I'm going to have to fly across there whenever I'm needed. Fortunately that's not often, really."

"You take ruling seriously?" the Doctor commented.

"Meh," she grinned. "They neither want, nor need me. It's all about democracy and anarchy these days, monarchy is such an outdated concept."

"Global anarchy?" the Doctor asked, already nodding his approval. "Can't fault it, as long as it doesn't descend into anarchy."

She laughed brightly and turned away, slipping her arms through theirs and leading them with her. "Now, there is someone I want you to meet. My dearest friend in this whole world..." they walked around the edge of the palace to the gardens, where she slipped her arms loose and bent to take her shoes off, taking off at a run down through the trees. "Come on then, keep up!"

The Doctor and Jack looked at each other, then the Doctor's face broke into a grin and he hared off in pursuit. Jack sighed and followed them at a slower jog, drawing to a halt at the edge of a meadow to stare at the sight before him. Slowly, he advanced further to greet the group in the middle of the meadow. "Um, hi... Been a long time since I met a Patronin."

The Patronin are a highly civilised species, not noted for their artistic or crafting skill, largely due to the hoofs, but highly respected in any cultures they encountered for their philosophical and scientific mental acumen. Many parliaments, monarchs and presidents across the three galaxies they now inhabited had at least one talking zebra as an advisor.

"Jack, nice of you to join us," Simra practically purred. "This is my dear friend and advisor, Sharo."

Jack plastered on a smile and inclined his head, raising it when Sharo did the same. "It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Sir."

"Captain Harkness," the Patronin greeted him in slow tones. "You are a friend of the Doctor, he is a friend of Majesty Simra, you are a friend of mine."

He waited patiently for the end of the sentence, then inclined his head again. "Likewise."

The Doctor grinned and leaned forwards. "Isn't it brilliant, Jack? This is the furthest the Patronin have got from their homeworld, and across every world they have visited they are hailed as brilliant thinkers!"

Jack cringed at Sharo's look of surprise. "Don't worry about him, best just to wait until he pauses for breath and then agree with him."

* * *

They made their farewells as the moon rose over the top of the roof above the courtyard and returned to the strange, safe, mad world that the TARDIS presented. Jack was quiet still, but more thoughtful than before. He leaned against the console and studied his feet. "Doctor, stop... Just let me be, really. Lovarion Six, Simra, it's all wonderful and amazing, but I know what you're trying to do," when he looked up, the Doctor saw the tears in his eyes. "And I appreciate it, really I do. But you need to give me time to get to a place where I can accept it."

He watched him for a moment, then nodded his understanding. "When you're ready..."

"Thank you, Doctor," he turned away, then paused and looked back. "If you go somewhere, though, come and get me, yeah? The idea of you loose on the universe on your own..."

"Will do, I'll bring you a cup of tea, shall I?" he watched Jack go and sighed, running his hand through his hair. "Watch out for him, girl. He needs us."


	3. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:**Fulfilling dares from my best friend and wife Jenny, Lizzy (LiquidLash) and Darkshine. Wordcount at the end fo this chapter: 8006

* * *

"Silence is golden, but Duct Tape is silver," the Doctor announced, dropping one of the five rolls he was carrying and kicking it so that it rolled towards Jack where he sat on the steps by the console. "And a true leader always has Duct Tape. Duct Tape holds the world together. In fact - Duct Tape, Jack, is a wonderful thing."

He raised an eyebrow and picked up the roll from next to his foot. "I thought you were a fan of string?"

"Well, string, string's good too, I'll admit, but really..." he pulled off a large strip of tape and started wrapping it around the cables. "One only needs two tools in life, WD-40 to make things go, and Duct Tape to make them stop."

"Should I be worried that I am travelling in a ship held together by Duct Tape?" Jack asked, holding the cables in position for him. "You know, it doesn't exactly fill me with confidence."

"It's not held together with Duct Tape!" he protested around a mouthful of tape, so that it sounded more like 'mph mup hur permurphur mph upt ipt'. At Jack's look of patient bewilderment, he took the tape out of his mouth and taped a lever in place. "I said, it's not held together with Duct Tape. Most people Duct Tape where the problem is, I duct Tape where the problem will be. It's just... Just... tidied up a bit."

Jack looked around them and huffed a half laugh. "Yeah, I see that the tidying has been successful."

He frowned. "Hey, remember that I've seen your bedroom, young man. You cannot comment on my tidiness."

He didn't get a response for a while, until Jack sighed as he passed him another strip of tape. "I've been tidied up," he said quietly. "I had my own Duct Tape. And, more to the point, I'm not a young man. Older than you, in fact."

He hummed. "I know."

"You never said anything."

"Not my style," he chuckled, then grew stern. "Besides, you wouldn't have answered me."

"No, I wouldn't," he agreed. "More Duct Tape?"

They worked in a companionable but uncomfortable silence for a while, until the Doctor felt that he had to fill the silence. "You know, the thing about Duct Tape, the _best_ thing about Duct Tape, is that unless you see it being applied, you don't notice that it's there. And all the time, it holds the world together in a million ways, from keeping cables tidy so that you don't trip over them and break your neck – which would be unfortunate even for you, Jack – to stopping things falling apart completely. And you never notice it! It's just a thing, people don't notice things."

Jack nodded without looking up and carried on wrapping tape around a strut that was splitting. The Doctor had got up and gone in search of more tape when Jack called his name. "Yeah, Jack?"

"You just described yourself," he smiled up at him at last, tightly and sadly. "As Duct Tape."

He nodded and smiled. "I suppose I did, really," When he returned, Jack had the strut splinted and bound with tape and his long legs stretched out in front of him. One foot tapped to a slow rhythm that only he could hear and his eyes were closed, his head rested back against the console. The Doctor rested a hand on his shoulder and sat down next to him, turning the roll in his hands slowly. "Jack, I..."

"Don't, Doctor, please. Let's just pretend that everything is fine, that there isn't an elephant in the room, just tape the old girl together and... and deal with anything else later, okay?"

He frowned. "Jack, don't shut me out."

Jack shook his head. "I'd give more heed to that if you'd ever let me in. And you know the other quote about Duct Tape – don't think that I didn't know that you stole those ones earlier, by the way..."

"Which other quote about Duct Tape?"

"Duct Tape is like the Force," the Doctor snorted and even Jack smiled dryly. "It has a light side and a dark side," the laughter faded from his face and Jack met his gaze firmly and acceptingly. "And it holds the world together."

"And that once trust is broken, not even Duct Tape can fix it," he rested his hand, complete with an almost full roll of Duct Tape, on Jack's knee. "Are we good?"

"No, Doctor," he said seriously, causing the Doctor's stomach to plummet. "We're fantastic," he stood up and walked further around the console, kneeling to repair the door hinge that had broken in a particularly violent landing. "To err is human, Doctor. But to fix with Duct Tape is divine."

"Don't you start," he warned. "There's already entirely too many cultures that think I'm a god."

"Well, if you will use so much Duct Tape," Jack let the Doctor's chunnering become a background murmur in his mind, slipping back into happy memories.

"_Sir, just how much of the Hub is held together with Duct Tape?" Ianto asked on his second day at Torchwood, having just tried to tidy the cables behind Tosh's desk and found that they were taped in their untidy and dangerous position._

"_Most of it," he shrugged. "I don't know what we... they did before it was invented," actually, he did, they actually fixed things, but he couldn't tell Ianto that._

* * *

"_Jack," Ianto pointed the aerial at him threateningly and then slammed it onto the desk. "Ten out of ten for ingenuity, nought out of ten for actual thought."_

"_That sounds like something of a contradiction," he pointed out._

_Ianto's glare told him that he was living dangerously. "The Duct Tape made the wing mirror disconcertingly sticky."_

_He couldn't help laughing at the description, and even Ianto relaxed slightly, the corners of his mouth twitching in that wonderful way that told Jack that he might be in trouble, but Ianto still... he cut the thought off and picked up the aerial, brushing their fingers together slightly as he pulled it out from under Ianto's open palm. "Surely it's nothing that hot, soapy water won't fix."_

_Ianto swallowed quickly and Jack punched the air internally. "Well, if you want to be the one to apply the hot, soapy water..." he put the emphasised pauses in in the same way that Jack had and leaned forwards slightly._

_Jack's hand curled around his bicep, as if he were catching him in his fall, and he chuckled. "You know that I have no objections to applying hot, soapy water, Ianto."_

"_Good," Ianto purred, stepping back and pulling a cloth out of his pocket. "You can clean the wing mirror off."_

_Jack pouted, but picked the cloth up. He was turning for the door when Ianto caught his wrist and pressed a hand against his stomach. "It can wait, Jack. It'll be easier once it's dry, anyway."_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Yeah," he smiled and leaned in closer, kissing the corner of Jack's mouth lightly. "For now, I feel I should be rewarding the dashing hero."_

"_Oh yeah?" he asked with a smile, pulling Ianto in with a hand on his hip. "Does the hero get the guy in this story?"_

_Ianto smiled and kissed him again, giving in to the pull. "You already have me."_

* * *

"Jack?" he looked back over his shoulder and met the Doctor's eyes again. "You alright?"

"Yeah," he confirmed, rubbing a hand across his eyes. "Just thinking."

"Well, don't think too hard," he frowned and passed Jack another roll of Duct Tape. "It's not that complicated."

He wiggled the next door and frowned. "I need a cocktail stick, don't happen to have one, do you?"

"Of course," he pulled one from his pocket and passed it over, watching as Jack wiggled the broken hinge pin out and replaced it with the cocktail stick, taping it in place. "I come prepared."

"So you do," he agreed. "Although, I have to ask, that light's been flashing now for about five minutes, and I would swear that it's not supposed to."

"What light?" he pointed. "Oh," the Doctor ran a hand through his hair crossly. "That's not good. Drop everything, Jack."

"Literally?"

"Well, not if it's breakable, but pretty much," he was reading through his screens at a hundred miles an hour. "Okay, we can deal with this, it's fine."

"How fine?"

"Well, unsorted it could rip universes apart, but we should be able to fix it easily..."

"Doctor!" he snapped. "You don't fill me with confidence. What is going on?"

"Okay," the Doctor sighed and leaned back on the console, crossing his legs at the ankle. "You remember Canary Wharf, the battle?"

"Doctor," Jack growled. "Ianto was one of the only survivors, I know it."

"Of course he was," the Doctor nodded distractedly, not really noticing the use of the past tense. Were it not for the problem, he would have realised that Jack had just told him exactly what was wrong with him, but his mind was elsewhere. "Well, the Cybermen came through to this world from another parallel universe, the one that Rose got trapped in, the one where the other me is now..."

"Your clone, sort of?" Jack asked, indicating his half-understanding of the situation.

"Yeah, he's not my... anyway, it's complicated. The thing is..." he clicked his fingers and pointed at the strut. "Duct Tape! The universe is all wrapped up in Duct Tape, but it's coming apart, and the edges of the Duct Tape of another universe are sticking to the edges of the Duct Tape of this one..."

Jack frowned. "You mean that there's a weakness in the fabric of the dimensions, threatening a dimensional collision?"

"Weell... yes, actually. I forget that you do this sort of thing. You know, I miss having a novice around."

"I take the fun out of things?"

"You know more than I do," he sighed. "And that's no fun at all. Anyway, yes."

"Yes, there's a breach in the dimensions?" Jack checked.

"Yes, exactly."

"There's a breach in the dimensions and we're standing around chatting?"

He clapped his hands and whirled around, flicking buttons and switches on the console. "No, there is a breach in the dimensions and we are going to fix it. It should be easy, just set the TARDIS to work on it, give her a bit of help here and there..."

"Okay," Jack sighed. "What do you need me to do?"

He grinned. "That lever there, hold it. And that dial over there, watch the readout over here," he swung the screen around so that Jack could see it. "Use the dial to keep the readouts level."

"Yes, sir," his eyes fixed to the screen and the Doctor knew that he could rely on Jack to keep that under control, leaving him to concentrate on locating and sealing the breach. As they made the move from the vortex to the physical universe, the TARDIS lurched and all the readouts spiked. "Doctor, care to explain?"

"Oh, nothing major, I think we just materialised right on top of the breach."

"Oh good," he sighed, gripping onto the console and turning the dial slowly as they lurched again. "Good to know we're not in any danger, or anything."

"We're fine," he insisted. "Absolutely fine, nothing could possibly go wrong," he ducked instinctively and stared up as the TARDIS flashed red and the Cloister Bell sounded. "Oh, I hate it when she does that..."

"What?" Jack asked worriedly.

"Proves me wrong," the Doctors told him, staring at each other.

Jack's capacity for speech left him as Ianto glared from him to Jack's Doctor and then to, presumably his own. He spared one more glare for Jack before ignoring him completely to yell, "Doctor!"

They looked at each other and shrugged. Jack's asked, "All hands to the pump?"


	4. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: **Total wordcount: 9230 validated on the NaNo site.

* * *

The other Doctor ran his hand through his hair and then extended it to Jack's Doctor. "Dimensional co-existance," he breathed. "Nice to know that I do exist in at least one other universe."

"This is brilliant!" Jack's Doctor enthused, shaking his hand vigorously. "Just, just brilliant. Doctor, can I just say, you are fantastic!"

"Well, I would say the same about you," he smiled. "Ianto, we've sort of collided with a parallel universe," he explained.

Ianto was still glaring. "I had guessed, Doctor."

"Sorry," the other Doctor apologised. "Of course you had. Anyway, this is Ianto, friend of mine."

"Ianto, good to see you again," he seemed oblivious to the way Ianto's face darkened in anger. "Jack Harkness," his Doctor introduced him, removing the onus of finding the capacity for speech from him. "Likewise."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Jack," the other Doctor extended a hand, then swung it around fast to grab onto the console when the TARDIS lurched. "I think we should cut short our meeting, gentlemen. Unfortunate though it is, having the two TARDISes in the same dimension is not good for the stability of either universe."

"No, quite right," Jack's Doctor agreed. "Shame, I would have liked to stay and chat longer but," the TARDIS lurched again. "Ianto, that panel there, press the buttons in the order they light up. Jack, you've got those readouts under control?"

"Yes, sir!"

"Good, Doctor, you've got that side under control?"

His Doctor grinned and thumped the panel with a hammer. "Yep, all sorted."

"Percussion engineering, can't fault it," they swayed and grabbed onto any available supports. "Right, so we have the power of two TARDISes..."

"And four sets of hands," Jack's Doctor continued. "Shouldn't pose a problem..."

"Don't say that!" Ianto snapped, swinging around to flick a switch close to Jack's Doctor. "You'll jinx it."

"Yeah, he does that," Jack managed to agree, shutting up when Ianto glared at him. "Doctor?"

"Keep it level, Jack," his Doctor told him. "You're doing fine, Doctor?"

"We're getting there, it's balanced," he flicked switches calmly. "Closing... we have achieved separation."

"We're still here, Doctor," Ianto pointed out with a snarl as the TARDIS gave one more lurch and fell still."

"Or we are," Jack's Doctor pointed out. "They should separate soon though."

Jack's heart sank as he heard the discussion and he turned to watch Ianto, taking the final opportunity that fate had presented him with. It wasn't his Ianto at all, his Ianto didn't hate him at first sight for starters – actually, he probably had, but he hadn't let Jack know about it – and the outfit was wrong. His Ianto would never have been so comfortable in the tight, ripped jeans, black T shirt that showed his taut muscles and the battered black leather jacket which, coupled with the black choker and slightly longer hair, leant him not an air of menace, exactly, but a very definite air of 'fuck off'. Still, the voice was the same, the face was the same, the eyes were the same colour, but laden with anger and hurt. If he had the chance... there was so much he wanted the chance to do. This Ianto was hurting, and he ached to make it better, but even if he had had the time, Ianto wouldn't... But he'd once thought that Ianto would never let him anywhere near him, would never give him the chance to heal the pain he saw in him, but he had, he'd let him in.

The Doctors were talking excitedly, comparing notes about their experiences and adventures. Ianto was leaning against a pillar with his arms folded, the very image of a sullen teenager. Jack wanted to laugh, which was about the only thing keeping him from crying.

* * *

_Ianto folded his arms and leaned against the door of Jack's office, glaring as fiercely as he could with his eyes and sinuses swollen like they were. He watched Jack as he moved around the room gathering keys, files and coats together. "Jack, I'm fine!"_

"_No," he disagreed. "You're not," he picked Ianto's coat up with one hand and approached him, taking his wrist and pulling him away from the door. With a sigh, Ianto relaxed enough to let Jack wrap his coat around his shoulders. "You're a nightmare when you're ill."_

"_I'm sorry," he sighed, leaning into Jack. "I hate being ill."_

"_I know you do, just let me help, okay?"_

"_It's hard," he grumbled, shrugging his coat on more securely. "I..."_

"_I know, I know," Jack straightened his collar and did his buttons up, smiling as he teased him, "It's like having a teenager instead of a boyfriend."_

_Ianto had looked suddenly brighter, and it had taken Jack all night, until Ianto had come back in in the morning and crawled into bed with him, to realise why._

* * *

He sighed heavily and blinked back to the present, jutting his chin unapologetically when he realised that Ianto had caught him staring. The other man continued to glare at him, then turned to watch the Doctors with a pointed sneer. Jack sagged a little, now that he was out of his glare and continued to watch him, noting all the little similarities and differences. It wasn't his Ianto, it really wasn't, and that in itself felt like a punch to the gut.

The TARDIS gave an almighty groan and shook, Jack closed his eyes and summoned up his courage, then walked over to Ianto, extending his hand. "Look after him," he told him, keeping as much emotion out of his voice as he could. "He needs you."

Ianto considered him, then gripped his hand and released it. "I know," he managed the tiniest smile, that one that had, once upon a time, told him that as hurt and scared by him as Ianto was, he might actually like him one day. Jack knew that as soon as this was over, he would go to his room and cry again for what he'd lost. It wasn't fair.

"Take care yourself," he added, tipping his head towards the Doctors, who were now doing something with the console. "It's a dangerous life."

Ianto barked a laugh and shook his head. "You really don't need to tell me that. Get away from him, Jack. Get away as soon as you can."

Jack sighed and smiled sadly. "You know it's too late for that."

"Me too," he agreed. "Doctor, we're still here!"

"Yeah," Ianto's Doctor agreed. "But not mu..." the TARDIS gave a huge jerk, her engines roared and screamed and Jack felt like his brain and the world were being turned in opposite directions. When they eventually settled he was sprawled on the floor and Jack's Doctor was thrown back in his seat, laughing raucously.

"You alright, Doctor?" he checked.

"Just fine," he laughed. "Oh I love it when that happens. What about you, are you alright?"

"Yeah, fine," he picked himself up off the floor and stopped. "Oh..."

"Oh?" the Doctor asked, as Jack ran around the console and crouched on the floor. "Oh, right. That's not supposed to happen."

Jack bit back a response and pulled Ianto up into his arms, tapping his cheek. "Ianto, hey, Ianto..."

He grunted and shrugged so that Jack let him go. "What are you doing here?" he asked blearily. "You shouldn't be here, Jack."

Jack sat back on his heels and stood up, offering Ianto his hand. "I'm sorry, Ianto..."

"What?" he looked up at the Doctor and frowned. "Doctor, how is Jack here?" he took Jack's hand and let him help him up, swaying slightly but refusing Jack's help any further. "Doctor?"

"Ianto, I'm not your Doctor, and this isn't your TARDIS," he explained gently. "You've come here, not the other way around."

He looked between them a few times, from the Doctor's contrite but excited expression to Jack's entirely apologetic, slightly devastated concern. When Jack took a step forwards with his hand outstretched to offer some form of physical comfort, he shrugged him away and ignored him completely. "No. No, send me back. Now!"

"I'm sorry, Ianto," the Doctor told him. "The walls of the universes have closed. I could send a projection, at best, but I couldn't send you through. Every time the universes touch, it causes irreparable damage to both. In sealing it, we had to make sure that that wasn't possible. There's no way for you to get back."

Ianto's glare became desperate and he started pacing. "There has to be a way, another breach, something, somewhere. Doctor, take me home!"

Jack met the Doctor's eyes over Ianto's shoulder and turned away, unable to witness any more. He wanted to grab Ianto, tell him that he was home, that there were people here who loved him and ached with grief at his recent passing, but that wasn't an answer he could give. Instead, he headed to his room in the TARDIS, away from the Doctor and Ianto's escalating argument.


	5. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** Listening to: Doctoring the TARDIS by KLF. Check it out on the Tube of You, especially the tutorial. Wordcount: 10472

* * *

There was a syncopated knock at the door which said quietly that the knocker would eventually enter, however long he had to wait. Jack sighed and scrubbed his face dry. "Come in."

The Doctor entered with two mugs of hot, milky tea and set one down on the bedside table next to Jack, then sat down on his other side and cradled his own mug between his hands. "I promised you tea," he pointed out.

He sighed and picked up the mug, wrapping his hands around it and taking a sip. "Thanks, Doc."

"You're welcome," they sat in silence, drinking their tea and trying to find a way to open the subject. The tea was half gone and nearly cold when The Doctor, turning the mug around in his hands, looked sideways at Jack again. "Ianto's taken a room down the next corridor, he's settling down."

Jack nodded and looked at the door. "Is there any way of getting him home, Doctor?"

"Why, do you want to?"

"Well..." he sighed. "No, but he wants to, and I don't want him to be hurt. Is there a way?"

The Doctor smiled sadly and set the mug down, letting his hands hang between his knees. "No, there isn't."

"Oh," he frowned and analysed his feelings. He had a chance, the slimmest chance ever, of getting Ianto back for a while. But then again, he also had the chance to lose him all over again, or to be rejected completely. And then there was the Doctor. "So he's alone again."

"He's got us," the Doctor pointed out.

He smiled and shook his head. "I didn't mean Ianto, I meant you, the other you."

"Ah, well..."

"You knew?" he demanded. "Did you know that he would stay here?"

"No, no," he reassured him. "We had a suspicion, nothing more, just an idea that it was possible... Where is he, Jack? Why is your Ianto not here?"

He closed his eyes, attempted a smile and failed. _Ianto's eyes rolled back and he drew a shaky, unfinished breath, which escaped him as he lost the fight and fell still in Jack's arms. _"He died," Jack whispered. "And I lost him. He's gone where I can't follow."

"Oh Jack, I'm so sorry..."

"Where were you, Doctor?" he demanded heatedly, eyes flashing. "We needed you... _I_ needed you. And you didn't come," he clenched his fists on his knees and closed his eyes again, watching Ianto's awful final moments replaying on the back of his eyelids. "I lost everything."

"What happened?"

"We received a message from an alien that we call the 456, through every child on the planet. The government," he spat, "were scared of what they would say. I met the 456 in 1963, they offered us an antivirus to cure a new wave of flu, tests indicated that it would kill millions. I was sent to give them twelve children."

"Children?"

"Yeah," he looked away and swallowed. "They didn't say what they wanted them for, just requested that we gave them the children and in return, they would save us. So I did it, I handed the children over. And forty years later, they came back, and our government were scared of the world finding out about the trade they did. So they tried to kill me, and Gwen and Ianto. Doctor, the put a bomb in my stomach and tried to use me," he sobbed out the word. "to kill them. And I nearly didn't know..."

"That wasn't it, though, Jack?" The Doctor leaned forwards and tried to crane around him. "What happened?"

"I died, and I came back, and Ianto rescued me, and the 456 demanded more children."

"How many?"

"Ten percent," he snarled. "They wanted ten percent of the world's children. And they were going to give them up, just like that. They were talking about choosing which children to give... I couldn't stand back and let it happen again," he pulled himself together, drying his eyes with the heel of his hand and taking a steadying breath, then he continued in a flat tone, "We set up a base, the last remnants of Torchwood, in an old warehouse in London. They arrested my daughter and tried to use her as leverage against me. Ianto and I went to challenge them, I told them that if they left, I would let them go... and that if they didn't, the entire population of Earth would rise up against them."

"What happened?"

"It was a slaughter," he whispered. "They released a virus that killed everyone in the building. He died in my arms, and I never told him..."

"Oh Jack, I'm sorry," he rested a hand on his back and his face fell, impossibly, further, when Jack flinched. "I know how much he meant to you."

"Yeah, I just wish he had," he choked.

"I'm sure he did, Jack. You wear your heart on your sleeve, everyone could see how much you cared about him."

"I hope you're right."

He smiled at the back of Jack's head. "Of course I am," he frowned again. "The Earth's not under threat still, though?"

Jack shook his head. "No, I dealt with it," he told him bitterly. "We channelled the 456's frequency and sent it back to them, through my grandson."

"Jack, but..." he reran the scenario in his mind, checking and rechecking. "But that would kill him."

"Yeah," he sighed. "It did. I lost everything. Before they came, I was a father, grandfather and lover, a Captain and a leader, people respected me. Now the people I love are dead, and the ones who survived can't stand to look at me. And I can't blame them."

"You sacrificed your own grandson to save the world?" the Doctor asked sharply.

Jack wheeled around at last, eyes furious and red from crying. "I had no choice!" he spat. "For me to lose him and Alice, or for millions of parents to have their children taken from them? I've had that, Doctor. They were going to have the children taken away from schools in buses, parents would just be waiting at the school gates and they wouldn't come home. Alice was three when her mother took her away from me, they went away to stay with Lucia's mum, and the next day Lucia came back, got her things, and told me not to contact her ever again. The people I trusted helped her, they hid her and kept me from finding her. I wasn't going to let anyone else suffer that, not if I could help it."

"Jack, that's..." he shook his head. "You did the one thing I never could."

"I couldn't the day before, Doctor. When Ianto was in my arms, I offered them the children for his life back..." his breath shook as much as he did. "So no, I don't want Ianto to go back to his world... but I can't admit that."

"Ianto is vulnerable, Jack," the Doctor told him gently. "He's hurting, largely because of what I did to him, I think... Not this me, that me. You're the only person who can understand him, Jack. And I think that he will understand you better than you expect him to, as well. Just... he'll hurt you, because he'll lash out. In the end, though, you need to get to know him, I know you do. Can you take the pain?"

He sighed. "For him? Anything."


	6. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:** Back in Halifax for the weekend. Approximate wordcount to date: 12477

Ianto growled in anger and disappointment, slamming the door to his room closed and whirling around to kick it. A low hum chastised him and he rested his hand on the wall beside the door, leaning his forehead against it slowly. Tears stung at his eyes and he closed them bitterly. "What did you do? Why did you keep me here?"

No answer was forthcoming as he turned to lean on the wall and look at his room. It was functional, but comfy, with most of the room taken up by a double bed, an armchair in the corner next to a desk at the end of the bed, with a simple office chair, and a bookcase in the other corner. Yesterday, this room had been scattered with trinkets and mementoes of a life travelling the stars, things that said that someone lived here. Now, though, it was empty, a blank slate that anyone could imprint on, and all he possessed was the clothes he stood up in. Again.

He pushed away from the wall and fell face down onto the bed. His hands clenched into fists and he steadied his breathing, closing his eyes to shut out the universe and counting to fifty, then back down again. It really wasn't fair; travelling with the Doctor never had been, not for him. He rolled over and stared at the ceiling, cursing the day the Doctor and Rose had blasted into his life. From that moment, an already unbalanced life had seemed to be one hell after another, and yet he kept coming back.

Jack, he realised, was probably the only person who could understand where he stood. He seemed to be a twat – moron, he corrected charitably – but there was the look in his eyes of a man who had no choice but to follow the Doctor. Ianto stretched and unzipped his coat, popped the buttons on the cuffs and tugged it off, dropping it in a pile on the chair, then unfastened his choker and chucked it onto the desk, then ran his hand through his hair, ruffling it roughly as he walked to the door.

He had no idea where Jack's room was, but he had an idea of where the kitchen was, assuming that it was in the same place (today, at least). That, then, was his first port of call, in the hope that there would be something alcoholic to find. Left out of his room, down to the end of the corridor, duck through the mini-door that looked like something out of Alice in Wonderland, past the row of five doors that opened into different parts of the TARDIS at random; he checked each just in case one would prove to be a shortcut, but found that they all led to entirely the wrong place. The first brought him out near the garden, the second opened into the fourth, so he had the bizarre experience of being able to study his own arse (and, if he was frank (which he was) he could see why Jack had stared at him earlier. The jeans did wonderful things) without cricking his neck or looking like a total narcisist (which Jack most definitely was.) He exited the fourth door and doubled back to open the middle one, which opened into the second Console Room, right at the far end of the TARDIS from where he wanted to be, and carried on to the fifth door, which opened to reveal a brick wall. "Well, thanks," he grumbled, shutting it firmly, "that could have been useful."

Around the corner, he found the hidden door that led him into the back of the second wardrobe and pushed his way through a rack of ballgowns, squeezing past the bust of Cleopatra wearing what his Doctor had assured him was actually her necklace and jinking left around the umbrella-bearing hat stand, feeling now more like something out of Narnia. The final leg of his mission was plain ordinary Douglas Adams, as the corridor changed in length as he walked along it and the invisible door halfway along posed more of a problem as usual.

Slamming that shut, he nearly stormed around the final corner and was brought to a sudden halt by a door opening nearly in his face. HE would have snapped at whoever opened it, but there didn't seem to be anyone actually controlling it. Cursing sentient, confused time machine/spaceships, he pushed it closed again, but it bounced off something, and Jack appeared around the edge of it. "Sorry," he muttered, plastering on a nauseatingly fake smile and giving Ianto a half-hearted flirtatious once-over. "Although then again..."

"Stop it," he rolled his eyes. Jack had changed out of the light jeans and T shirt he'd been wearing when they met into dark trousers and a blue shirt. Ianto felt decidedly under-dressed, but also decidedly normal. "Kitchen still down this corridor?" he asked.

"Yeah, second door on the left," Jack told him. "Mind if I join you?" he looked irritatingly hopeful, but Ianto figured that they'd be stuck together for a while, until either Jack got a grip (or, more likely, a girl) or died, or Ianto managed to piss him off enough that he left. He might as well make nice to begin with, then start on the getting-rid-of-the-kid (admittedly, a kid who looked older than him, but with the Doctor, one never knew, and it was how long you'd spent with the Doctor (and chasing him) that counted.

He shrugged. "Sure, was looking for you anyway."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, inmates together, right?" he stepped back to let Jack out and they headed down the corridor together. "Two rules by the way. One, never ever shorten my name. Ever. Two, don't ask me about my family."

Jack swallowed and nodded, eyes fixed on the floor ahead of them. "I got it."

"Any rules I should follow with you?" he offered.

"Just one," Jack opened the door to let Ianto in. "Don't ask me about relationships. I may tell, but don't push me on them. There's a lot of... Just don't go there, because I may tell you."

"I see..." Ianto trailed off, bending down to look through the cupboard and finding a bottle of rum. "You want anything from down here?" he asked.

"No, thanks," Jack told him, heading for the fridge. "Need something warm."

Ianto nodded and swung one of the chairs around so that he could straddle it and lean his arms on the table, swigging from the bottle. "Mind if I ask, just so I don't blunder into it, what exactly I'm not supposed to ask you about, relationship wise? Feel free not to answer, but big gob, often offends," also, if he found out what made Jack tick, he could make him tick.

Jack was silent for a while, making himself a hot chocolate, which told Ianto that he was going to answer. Eventually, before he looked around, he confessed, "I lost my partner recently. I'm nowhere near ready to talk about him."

Ianto took a hefty swig and pursed his lips. Pushing Jack's buttons like that was right out; the guy was clearly distraught still, it was written in his whole posture as he told Ianto, and Ianto wasn't quite enough of a bastard to use that against him. He cast around for a way to answer that and settled for, "I'm sorry."

"Yeah," Jack chuckled bleakly. "So am I... Anyway, yeah, steer clear of death and we'll get along just fine, as far as I'm concerned."

He sat down at the table and Ianto managed a genuine smile; Jack was trying, definitely, and maybe they would get along. "I think I can cope with that."

Jack laughed, although he clearly didn't mean it – for which Ianto didn't blame him, considering – and extended his hand across the table. "Jack Harkness, alien hunter and traveller."

"Ianto Jones, likewise," he bared his teeth in a grin and took another swig. "Doctor story: worked for the council in Cardiff, met him, Rose and Mickey when it turned out that my boss was an alien, joined them on the TARDIS, etcetera, etcetera."

"You worked for..." Jack paused for thought and tapped his mug. "Margaret Blaine?"

"Yeah," he frowned a slow smile. "You met her?"

"Hmm, I'd been with him a while then," Jack told him. "I met him in 1945, I was a pilot in the RAF, not from that time period, but ended up there, long story..."

"I'll get it out of you later, no worries," Ianto grinned. "More fun that way."

Jack looked uncomfortable with the idea, but nodded. "Yeah, I suspect you will. Anyway, nearly killed the entire population of Earth, nearly sacrificed myself to save them..." he shrugged. "Been with the Doctor on and off ever since."

"On and off?"

"Yeah, well, I spent some time going linear, worked for Torchwood in Cardiff..."

"No way!?" Ianto nearly dropped the bottle. "I worked for them there too."

"Waiting for him?"

"Rift, yeah?" he chuckled. "Never had the best timing, for a Time Lord."

"There's a fact," Jack agreed. "Furthest out he's been with you?"

"Two millennia," Ianto shook his head. "I asked to see a gladiator fight, he took me to see the première of the film. I met Russell Crowe, at least."

"Yeah?" Jack asked. "He hot?"

"Not my type," Ianto laughed around the neck of the bottle. "Should have guessed he'd be yours though."

"Everyone is my type," Jack gave him a leer which, although not entirely convincing, told him in words of one syllable that Ianto was definitely on that list.

He pushed away from the table again and crouched by the cupboard, not bending over now, to find more alcohol. "Sorry, Harkness," he told him whilst fishing the bottle of vodka from the back of the cupboard. "Sure you don't want something stronger."

Jack sighed and wrapped his hands tighter around his mug. "Still no."

"That's a lie."

"It is, but I went on a long bender after... after I lost him," he swallowed and Ianto returned to the table, trying to let him know that he wasn't really angry with him, just not interested. "If I start again, I'll be back there."

"You're a stronger man than I am," he told him, raising his bottle in toast. "Want to change the subject?"

"Yes please," Jack smiled across at him.

"Thank fuck for that, I'm a useless agony aunt," he griped. "You two got any plans for places you're heading for?"

"No, we were just floating in the void for a couple of days when we picked up the breach," Jack told him. "Lots of very beautiful planets, though."

"Hmm, not a fan of beautiful," Ianto grinned. "More a fan of explosions and danger."

Jack sighed and looked at him, really looked at him, so that Ianto could see the concern in his eyes. "Be careful what you wish for, Ianto. I've seen things, and you're still so young," Ianto scoffed and he shook his head. "No, seriously... You're too young to throw your life away on an adrenaline hunt."

Ianto sneered and took another bitter swig from the bottle. "Jack, what life? Honestly, you have no idea," he stood up and turned the chair around, putting it back under the table, then picked up his drink and left. "Later."

Behind him, when he looked back in closing the door, Jack had his face buried in his hands and was at least fighting tears. Ianto felt like an utter jerk, but he had already known that he was one.


	7. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:** I'm home in Halifax for a couple of days, working with Linux and a very small screen, so I can't reply to reviews individually just yet. Huge thanks, though, to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, I can't wait to be able to get back home and respond personally.

Also, with being away from a useful computer, I don't know my exact wordcount, but it's somewhere around 14000

Warning on this chapter and the next one, they're both very dark, and I actually gave myself nightmares.

* * *

The TARDIS thrummed quietly, her engines were still after a gentle landing and Ianto was alone in the console room, running random systems scans to keep himself occupied whilst the Doctor went to find out if Jack wanted to join them. The Doctor's friend had kept himself to himself for the last couple of days, which suited Ianto just fine; their one encounter since that first night had been tense, awkward and downright weird, and Jack had fled as soon as was politely possible. Ianto didn't really expect him to join them, but he wasn't completely surprised when the Doctor returned first, talking nineteen to the dozen, with Jack following close behind with that 'rabbit in the headlights' look in his eyes that said that he hadn't been expecting to come either. At least he was back in jeans and a T shirt (black this time).

Whilst the Doctor chattered on about the history of the planet and the area they were visiting, telling them presumably important stuff about mysterious circumstances and treading carefully, Ianto returned Jack's stiff nod of greeting with the ghost of a smile and an eye-roll directed with a tip of his head to the Doctor's back. Jack smiled tightly and briefly, and returned his attention to the Doctors finger, which was wagging at him. "Yes, Doctor," he agreed automatically.

"Jack," the Doctor sighed. "I know, I know, you're a big boy and you can look after yourself but, you too Ianto, be careful out there. No one knows exactly what happened."

"Sorry, Doctor," Jack apologised contritely.

Ianto just quirked an eyebrow and smirked. He'd picked up on the innuendo, even if Jack hadn't.

The Doctor sighed and pulled his coat on, giving each of them a warning glare as he did so. "Be careful, and stay close. What's the first rule, Jack?"

"Don't wander off," they chorused. Ianto smiled at the Doctor's initial surprise, but his heart wasn't in it. The Doctor was, really, the one thing that hadn't been ripped away from him; he just hoped that the Doctor realised that soon.

"Yes, well," the Doctor pulled three torches from his pocket and tossed one to each of the men. "Stay alert. There could be nothing but..."

"There will be now you've said that," Ianto groaned.

They stepped out of the TARDIS and Ianto peered around in the darkness, flicking his torch on to see better. They were at the corner of a long corridor, with a group of doors close to them and more leading off both arms of the corridor. Ianto tried the door nearest to him and laughed darkly when it opened. "Ianto..." the Doctor warned in a low voice.

"I'm just looking," he insisted. The dust was extremely thick in this small room, and the darkness was explained by the boards over the windows. Three rows of desks and chairs told Ianto exactly what they had walked into. "It's a school."

"It is," the Doctor and Jack followed him into the room as he nearly tiptoed across to the teacher's desk and picked up an ancient textbook that fell apart at his touch.

"What happened?" Jack asked, casting the beam of his torch around.

The Doctor sighed sadly and pushed open the connecting door to reveal a similar, but smaller, room. "No one knows. Half the parents in town sent their children to school here one morning, they went out to play in the morning, then people living nearby noticed that they hadn't come out at lunch time. They waited, and they didn't come out in the afternoon either, then the end of the school day came and none of the children made it home. Concerned parents went into the school to find out what was wrong, and it was deserted. Two hundred and forty children, fifteen staff and the school cat, all vanished," the melancholy tone was leaving the Doctor's voice, replaced by a hint of excitement and definite interest. "Six people since have vanished in this building, most of them trespassers."

"Like us?" Jack asked.

"Just like us," the Doctor agreed. "Exciting, isn't it?"

Jack chuckled and his torch flashed onto Ianto, startling him. "Sorry, Ianto. Yes, Doctor, exciting," his voice was strained and his gaze went to each desk in turn. "Two hundred and fifty children..."

The Doctor dropped the beam of his torch and he watched Jack in the darkness. "Half the town's children vanished," he told them. "It killed the place, everyone moved away."

"Half?" Ianto asked, pacing between the desks. "What about the other half?"

"This was the lower school, the upper school is down the road," he explained, turning and looking up at the ceiling. "Parents kept their children home until they left the town. And somewhere, maybe, the cause is still here to be found..."

"No one has any idea?" Ianto asked. "How long ago was it?"

"Ten years," the Doctor told him as they followed Jack back onto the corridor. "I brought us here late enough for no one to find us here, early enough that it's still safe."

"Apart from whatever it is that vanished the children?"

"Well... I meant in terms of building stability," he admitted. "Another couple of years and it'll start falling down, like the rest of the town."

"It's a total ghost town?" Ianto asked, "Can we have a look?"

The Doctor frowned at him. "That's a bit dark and weird, Ianto, wouldn't you rather go somewhere, I don't know, livelier?"

He snorted and pushed a glass door on a cupboard shut with a click. "I'm a dark person, Doctor."

Without a word, Jack left the room by the door that led back onto the corridor. The Doctor tutted and followed him, holding the door open for Ianto. "Rule number one, Jack!" he chastised.

"I'm not wandering off," he reassured him in a subdued voice. "Just, it's close in there."

The Doctor dropped his torch beam again and watched Jack, then turned away. "Okay, we'll stick to the open spaces, it is a bit creepy."

Ianto rolled his eyes. "Not creepy by your standards, Doc. This is positively benign."

He sniffed and wandered down to the next door, pushing it open to reveal another classroom. "I resent the implications, Ianto."

"Sure," he glanced at Jack, who was sticking to the middle of the corridor, trying not to look at anything, and wondered who else he'd lost. "I believe you."

The Doctor ignored him and opened a door on the other side, within the arms of the corridors. It opened on the main school hall and he entered, beckoning Jack and Ianto in. "Once upon a time, hundreds of children sat in here every morning."

"Doctor, don't, please?" Jack asked, eyes fixed on a mural along one wall.

Ianto went to stand next to him to look at it. "What does it show, Doctor?"

He flashed his torch over all of it and looked across at them. "It's artwork by the children to celebrate the religious new year. The central picture," he showed it to them, a tree made of a collage of thousands of tiny four-fingered hand prints. "That's the tree of life, like Yggdrasil in Norse mythology or... is there a Welsh one?"

Ianto shrugged, watching Jack closely. He was staring at the handprints, fixated on them almost. "I don't know, I'm not that big on Welsh mythology. We have dragons, what more do I need to know?"

The Doctor tutted and waved at the mural. "Ianto, you should treasure these things. We visit the past, the future, alien worlds, we see and meet all these people, but the real history is the stories you hear, the voices that have told them before you."

Jack shook his head fiercely and turned away, stalking across the room. His torch beam showed his progress and they watched him go until the door swung shut behind him. Ianto kept his gaze fixed in that direction. "Doctor, I don't know what happened to Jack to hurt him like that, but if you don't get him out of here, I will crown you on his behalf, okay? I might not like him, but I don't particularly like you, either."

The Doctor sighed. "He needs you to get along with him, Ianto, at least. But thank you for standing up for him; you're right, I never should have brought him here."

"And let him wander off," Ianto pointed out, setting off at a jog. "Doctor?"

They burst through the door onto an empty corridor. Their torches revealed nothing, and the Doctor set off towards the TARDIS. Ianto swept his torch beam along the floor, though, and called him back. "Doctor, he's not in the TARDIS."

"What do you mean?"

He kept his beam on the disturbed dust down the corridor from them, and the drag tracks. "The door down there, it was shut when we went in."

The Doctor ran back to him and bent to look at the marks. "Jack?" he called.

Ianto shook his head and raised his torch beam to the door. "Doctor, he's gone."


	8. Chapter 7

_They burst through the door onto an empty corridor. Their torches revealed nothing, and the Doctor set off towards the TARDIS. Ianto swept his torch beam along the floor, though, and called him back. "Doctor, he's not in the TARDIS."_

_  
"What do you mean?"_

_He kept his beam on the disturbed dust down the corridor from them, and the drag tracks. "The door down there, it was shut when we went in."_

_The Doctor ran back to him and bent to look at the marks. "Jack?" he called._

_Ianto shook his head and raised his torch beam to the door. "Doctor, he's gone."_

* * *

The Doctor yelled and ran his hand through his hair, sweeping the floor methodically with his torch beam. The scuffed marks in the dust were easy to read, as they hadn't approached that part of the corridor yet, and they led clearly and obviously to the door. "We have to go after him," Ianto insisted. "I won't let you leave him behind, even if the chances are..."

"The chances are just fine," the Doctor snapped. "And I had no intention of leaving him behind."

"Good, good..." he spotted something at the edge of the torchlight and dropped to his haunches to pick it up. "His torch, Doctor."

"Oh Jack..." he took it from Ianto and tried it. "Must have broken when he dropped it. Come on then."

"What, we're just going in there?" he asked, incredulous but not surprised.

"You were the one insisting," the Doctor pointed out, striding to the door and pulling it open, flashing his torch through. "Besides, Jack's my friend and I wouldn't leave him. Wouldn't even leave you. Here's interesting though, a cellar."

"What do you mean 'even me'? And what's interesting about a cellar?" Ianto demanded.

"Why would a school like this have a cellar? And what's down there, apart from, well, Jack..." he beckoned Ianto over. "Stay close, I don't want you getting lost as well."

"What's the plan then?" he asked. "And what if Jack's..."

"The plan is," the Doctor cut him off in a harsh whisper. "To go down there, find Jack and get him out."

"Doctor, how many people disappeared in one go here? The chances of finding Jack alive are minimal," he insisted, following him nonetheless. "You have this effect, don't you?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, his voice echoing up the narrow staircase.

"You know what I mean," he growled. "You know exactly what I mean. How far do these stairs go down?"

"Further," he told him. "But not much further, I don't think."

* * *

The darkness surrounding him was absolute, and the ground was damp and gritty below his palms and against his cheek. Jack groaned and pushed himself off the ground, trying to make out anything in the pitch blackness at the same time as searching his pockets for his torch. There was a chittering, whispering noise above and around him, and things brushed him in the darkness. He could see absolutely nothing, but he could feel that there was a lot of space, wider than the corridor had been. He was also extremely sore, as though he'd been picked up and thrown repeatedly, and the pain in his neck indicated strangulation. Still, he mused, at least he didn't have a post-resurrection headache to deal with.

Standing up fully, he stretched his arms out on each side of himself to try and feel the walls. When he didn't find anything, he stretched them out in front of himself instead and walked forwards. Twelve paces until he met the wall, which was as damp and gritty as the floor. The chittering increased, and something brushed more firmly against him, grabbing at him. He shrugged them off, taking his hands off the walls for a moment to flap at them. The panic was mounting, really mounting now, and he brought one hand back to the wall, keeping the other raised as he took his first step forwards..

* * *

"We've reached the bottom," the Doctor told Ianto. "The passages seem to follow the pattern of the floors above."

"So lots of rooms to explore," Ianto sighed. "You take the left, I'll take the right?"

"Okay, just, be careful," there were more rooms down here than on the ground floor, smaller as well. Each was lined with stone shelves, most of them empty and thick with dust, but occasionally there would be a box of files, a shelf full of jam-jars. "Anything?" the Doctor asked, halfway down the first arm of the corridor.

"Nothing," he sighed. "What were you thinking, really? I know you know about what's upset Jack, and yet you brought us here... you're a..."

"I thought," the Doctor raised his voice. "That it could be, you know, closure for him. The chance to help, in some way. That's what matters to Jack, the feeling that he's making a difference, and he left that behind..."

"You're impossible," he growled, pushing open the next door. "You just don't think, do you?"

"What did I do to you?" the Doctor asked him quietly.

He was about to answer when something brushed past him and darted through his torch beam. Swinging around, he searched the corridor again for whatever it was. "Doctor, we have company."

"Yes, we do..." his torch was focussed on a large door, just down the corridor, which was ajar and moved slightly as they watched. "Ianto?"

"Right behind you..." he whispered, following him closely and keeping a moving eye out for anything around them. "In there?"

"Yep," he took hold of the door and pulled it open, flashing the torch in to reveal the cavernous space. "Wow."

"What did they build a space like this for?" Ianto asked. "What could a school use it for?"

"They didn't build it," the Doctor breathed, staring at the ceiling. "Look, it's natural, Ianto. A giant cave under the school."

"Do you think it had anything to do with what happened?"

"I dunno," he admitted. "I mean, they knew about it, if there's a door, but listen to the echoes, it's enormous!" he turned around, flashing his torch around the walls now. "It goes on forever..."

"You think Jack's in here?" Ianto asked, listening to the growing whispering noises and the echoes of drips. "Somewhere."

"Right here," Jack entered the circle of torchlight from Ianto's torch, relief evident in his expression. Only now did Ianto realise how pale his torchlight was getting. "I am so glad to see you two."

"Yeah, so are they," the Doctor breathed, staring up at the ceiling still.

They looked up, following his gaze to the bizarre creature on the ceiling. It had huge eyes and rough edged ears, a sort of skeletal, angular build and dark grey skin. Its limbs, when it moved, were spindly and seemed to have three joints at least. The image forcing its way into Ianto's mind was the image of the orcs crawling across the ceiling of Khazad Dum in the Lord of the Rings. It clung to the ceiling upside down, but it seemed to be able to turn its head around completely, so that it could be on the ceiling and study things on the ground... or something like that. "That is..."

"Slightly orcish?" Jack suggested, drawing very close to them. "I don't think they like the light."

"Very orcish," Ianto agreed. "And I don't like them much."

"You said them, how many are there?" the Doctor checked.

Jack shrugged. "You've got the torch. I dropped mine."

"Yeah," the Doctor swung his torch across the ceiling and revealed just how many there were. "We found it, it doesn't work."

"Neither does mine," Ianto told him as the light flickered again. "Fuck."

"One torch, three people, an army of orcs. Doctor?" Jack grabbed his shoulder desperately. "Out of here?"

"Yeah, I think you could be right," he agreed. "Ianto, if you lead the way... Just what do these things do, Jack?"

"Strangulation, then throw you around," he told him, grabbing on and squeezing Ianto's hand when he took it to lead him. He found the Doctor's hand too and they started backing away to the door. "Anyone got batteries, Doctor?"

"Um... No, I don't."

"I thought you came prepared?" Jack snapped.

"Weell..." the Doctor scratched his ear, flicking his torch beam to another approaching orc. "Batteries not included, I should come with the warning. They're fascinating, Penraxij, they live in caves in forests usually and prey on smallish animals and birds, sort of cat size."

"And us," Ianto pointed out, tugging on jack's hand, partly to pull them out of the room and partly to get him to release his grip slightly. "Unless we get out of here."

The chittering and whispering had grown in intensity, and Ianto was fairly certain that they were between them and the door. The Doctor was nearly having to shout for Ianto to be able to hear him. "Yeah," he agreed. "Ianto, lead the way."

"For fuck's sake!" he tugged on Jack's hand. "Jack, have you got him?"

"Yeah."

"Good, because if you hadn't, I'd leave him behind," he snarled. "Now run!"

They did. Ianto was right, and found himself having to force his way through a group of the chittering orcs – Peniwhatsits – bashing them aside with his heavy, otherwise useless torch. The Doctor gave a yelp, presumably being dragged along by Jack, and then Jack was next to Ianto, helping him to shoulder a way through. They got onto the corridor and he slammed the door shut, leaning on it to keep it shut. "Go on," he yelled. "Get out, I'll follow you."

"Not a chance," Ianto snarled, grabbing him and pushing him, then pulled his T shirt off and shoved it under the door to wedge it. "Now go, go!"

They didn't need that much encouragement. Jack still made sure that Ianto was ahead of him, but the Doctor went in front to light he way. There were more of the creatures out here, apart from the ones in the cave trying to get out – and Ianto's T shirt wouldn't hold them long – but they ran freely, pushing them aside as they came to them. They were as spindly and brittle as they looked, but when one grabbed onto Ianto's arm, their grip proved to be extremely strong. Jack had stopped to help him, but he waved him off and bashed the thing against the wall. The door behind them burst open and he took off again, grabbing the door to the stairs and slamming that shut too. They clambered the steep, dangerous stairs as fast as they could, making good progress until the Doctor slipped at the front. Jack caught him, but not before he dropped the torch. They gasped for breath as he tried to find it again, but their only reward was the sound of it bouncing further down. Jack swore and pushed at him, turning back to reach out to Ianto and make sure he was still with them. "It'll be broken now, just go."

Ianto felt something on his leg and turned to kick it viciously. As soon as he was free again, he staggered further up the stairs as fast as he could. Long as the staircase had seemed going down, it was even longer and steeper going up, and he was bruised from falling against the walls repeatedly when he'd slipped. Jack grabbed him and pulled him through into the ground floor as soon as he was within reach, and the Doctor slammed the door shut and locked it with his sonic screwdriver. He kept it going, using the tiny blue light to show their way as they strode to the TARDIS in silence. When they got into the warm, bright console room, Jack disappeared instantly. Ianto glared at the Doctor and followed Jack through the corridors, catching the door with his foot and leaning against the door frame, watching as Jack pulled a dark, heavy-looking coat from the wardrobe and pulled it on. He wrapped it tight around himself and sat down on the bed, rubbing his hands across his face. "Don't ask," he whispered, "really don't ask."

"Wasn't going to," Ianto told him, folding his arms. "That's rule number one, isn't it?"

"I thought that was 'don't wander off'?" Jack chuckled. "Welcome to the TARDIS."

Ianto chuckled. "Different TARDIS, same life, Jack. Are you okay?"

Jack looked up at him in surprise, then smiled sadly. "Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks."

"Anytime," he told him, retreating. "We companions need to stick together."

"Ianto?"

He turned back and poked his head around the door again. "Yeah?"

"Really, thank you."


	9. Chapter 8

**Author's note:** Official wordcount: 17825. Huge thanks again for your reviews! I'm back in business.

Jack watched the door close and groaned loudly, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes. The last thing he had needed after that hellish day was the image of Ianto topless and self-assured, not concerned about what other people would think of him, and with good reason – if the way the T shirt clung to him had suggested that he was a young man at the peak of his physical fitness, once he took it off... Jack rubbed his eyes again and sighed. Ianto was really, really bad for his blood pressure, and he was fairly certain that his sanity was beyond saving.

After the cold of the school, especially the cellar, it was really too warm in the TARDIS to have his coat on, but he wasn't quite ready to take it off yet. It was like Ianto had told him once, what was it he'd said?

"_It's the part of being the leader that's easy to remove," he smiled and brushed the collar down, then straightened the sleeves. "When you take the coat off, the other burdens go with it, but when you put it on..." he turned back to Jack, sitting at his desk, and shrugged. "I think that in the coat, you feel invincible. We all need our defences, and the coat is yours."_

_He was close enough to touch now, and Jack indulged himself, taking Ianto's hand and exploring it, stretching his fingers out and comparing the length with his own, rubbing his palm between thumb and finger. "So what's your defence?" he asked, looking up at him._

"_Torchwood," he smiled bitterly, then it softened as he caught Jack's chin in his free hand and bent to kiss him swiftly. "And you."_

He ran a finger along his lips and smiled bitterly, clamping his hand over his mouth to keep back a sob. The instant he closed his eyes, he was back in that room, losing everything all over again. He shook his head fiercely to dispel the images and buried his face in his hands, shoulders shaking as the emotion overwhelmed him.

Ianto found a short sleeved black shirt in the second wardrobe and pulled it on as he headed down the corridors to the kitchen. The Doctor was already in there when he got there, reading a book upside down and eating a sandwich that Ianto really didn't want to ask about. He ignored him and pulled bacon and eggs out of the fridge, throwing four rashers of bacon into the frying pan and cutting four slices of bread whilst he waited to put the eggs in. They were sizzling happily and he was collecting mugs and filling a teapot when the Doctor broke the silence. "How's Jack?"

He snorted and shook his head, dropping three spoonfuls of tea into the pot and carrying it over to the kettle to wait. "He says he's okay."

"He's probably not."

"Gee, thanks for the diagnosis, Doc," he glared at him and made the sandwiches up, putting them on one plate on a tray and filling the teapot before that too went on the tray with the mugs. "You have a lot of making up to do after today."

"Can I point out that I'm an alien?" he frowned. "You humans are all so complicated."

"You've spent enough time around us, especially Jack, I think," he sighed and bit back further condemnation. "I wish I'd never come back to you, you never even tried to understand."

"What did I do to you, Ianto?" the Doctor called, stopping him in his tracks. "And why did you come back?"

Ianto shook his head again and carried on. "Figure it out, Doctor. I'm going to help Jack."

He knew that Jack wouldn't answer his knock, so he balanced the tray awkwardly on his knee and let himself in anyway, meeting Jack's eyes with an apologetic smile. The man looked like a wreck – his eyes were red and puffy, his face was nearly white and he'd bitten his bottom lip so hard that he'd broken the skin. Ianto set the tray down on the desk against the wall and sat down next to him on the bed, rubbing his back gently as Jack dropped his head into his hands again. "I didn't believe you."

Jack choked on a laugh and looked up at him with a self-deprecating half smile. "Neither did I, really," he admitted. "Thanks."

"Like I said, we companions have to stick together," he stood up and went back to the tray. "Tea?"

"Thanks," Jack chuckled. "Wow, real tea. From a phone box."

Ianto frowned and poured out two mugs of tea, adding two heaps of sugar and a lot of milk to Jack's and just a tiny bit of milk to his own. "I like novelty teapots. They're never as funny as they're supposed to be, but they're so very human. When we're off on alien planets, drinking alien drinks and then coming back to this," he gestured around at the room that he knew could change depending on the TARDIS's mood. "It's nice to know that I can do something as essentially British as drink tea made in a teapot shaped like a red phone box."

Jack chuckled and accepted the mug, wrapping his fingers around it tightly. "You're not one of these Welshmen who objects to being called British, then?"

"Well," he grinned and sat back down next to Jack, balancing the plate of sandwiches on his knee and proffering them to Jack. "He doesn't have a sheep shaped teapot."

He laughed loudly and took one of the sandwiches, biting into it and gesturing with the mug when Ianto's egg burst and spilled down his chin. "Messy."

He shrugged and wiped it away with his thumb, then sucked his thumb clean. Jack's watched him closely, then his gaze flicked away suddenly, down to his own sandwich. Ianto stuffed the last of that half of his sandwich into his mouth and spoke around it, "Good?"

"Yes, thanks," he looked up at him again with a smile. "I'll have to do you full English sometime, it's my speciality."

"Yeah?" Ianto grinned and waved his mug. "Mine's coffee, really. Thought tea would be better today, though."

Jack bit his lip and nodded, staring down at the mug he was turning between his hands. "Yeah, thanks," he sighed. "I've not drunk coffee since... since he died."

"He? Oh..." realisation dawned and Ianto swore, "Fuck, Jack, I'm sorry. How long..."

"He died twelve months ago," Jack told him quietly. "I'm not..."

"Yeah, I understand," Ianto swallowed. "Change of subject?"

"Please."

"The Doctor," he launched in, setting his mug on the desk and turning around so that one leg was tucked up underneath himself and he was facing Jack. "What a twat."

Jack laughed and sat back, crossing both legs. "He's not so bad," Ianto raised an eyebrow and he sighed. "Well, okay, so he doesn't always have a clue, but at least he's not maliciously... twatish."

Ianto smirked. "Yeah, alright, not like the Rani."

"The who?"

"No, just the Rani," he teased. "She's a mad cow. Psychopathic scientist, likes to do weird experiments. Fancied the pants off me," he added with a slightly horrified expression.

Jack laughed loudly. "Well, at least we know she has good taste in men."

"Ick, ick, ick," he deadpanned. "Although, the psycho bitch look is kind of hot."

"It's only kinky the first time," Jack told him with a leer. "We got the Master, he was kind of..." he shrugged. "Could have been kinda cute, but was just too far in the nutty direction."

Ianto shook his head. "Heard of him, not met him. He was always a bit... sinister, I thought."

"Yeah," Jack agreed. "But you get your kicks where you can."

"You didn't really? Really?" Ianto asked. "No, you didn't."

"No, I didn't... didn't what?"

Ianto waved his hand and pulled a face. "Fancy... the Master."

"No," he stated definitely. "His wife though... No, though. No, really... not a lot. Well..."

"You sound like the Doctor."

"I've spent a lot of time with him," he pointed out defensively. "And he really did fancy the Master."

"Yeah?"

"True love," Jack sighed. "Bastard."

"Is that a 'bastard' of 'I loved him and he never noticed and loved the Master instead' or of 'the Master was an utter arsehole and you still care about him'?" Ianto asked.

"Well, the latter, but it wasn't really..."

"Yeah, I know you're exaggerating," he reassured him. "But I know what you mean as well. He was like that with the Rani, she was such a bitch, and yet the Doctor only wanted to stop her because he absolutely had to. If she hadn't been dangerous, he would have..."

"Yeah."

"Yeah," Ianto sighed. "It drives me nuts."

"Yeah..." Jack laughed dryly. "It was a bit of the first, too."

"The fir... oh, really?" he pulled a face. "That... must suck."

"Yeah, and not in the good way," he smiled and stood up, placing his mug and the plate on the desk. "It's an amazing life though."

"Oh yeah, definitely," Ianto agreed. "Wouldn't give it up for anything."

"No..."

Ianto hummed under his breath as he returned to the kitchen and washed the plate and mugs. The Doctor was still at the table and smiled up at him. "You sound cheerful."

"Yeah, well, Jack's good company once you get to know him," he grinned over his shoulder. "We were talking about you, actually."

"Oh?" he looked back to his book. "Anything good?"

"Not a lot," he told him. "I'm going to the library for a bit; go and talk to him, Doctor, please?"

"Yeah," he put the book down and stretched his legs out, then pushed away from the table. "I was going to, anyway."

"Sure you were," he put the last mug on the draining board and gave him a nod. "I'll see you later."

"Bye, Ianto," the Doctor watched him go, then headed the short distance down the corridor to Jack's room. The door was ajar, so he knocked on it lightly and poked his head around. "Jack, are you entertaining guests?"

Jack was sitting cross-legged on the bed again, with a framed photo in his hands. When he looked up, his face was wet with tears that he'd managed to keep back in front of Ianto. "Hey, Doc."

"Oh Jack," he sighed and sat down on the bed. "You and Ianto were talking for a while..."

"Yeah," Jack agreed, looking back to the photo. "He's good company, even if he's not... not mine."

"What happens when he finds out about your Ianto?" he asked, taking the photo off Jack and looking down at him and Ianto smiling in the Cardiff sunshine, on a boat by the look of things. "Where was this taken?"

"On the boat, going out to Flat Holm Island," he sighed. "And... how can I tell him? I want to, but once he knows, he'll... I need the chance to believe, just for a while. I mean, I know that he's not my Ianto, they're very different people. But just for a while, I can have my best friend back."

"I know, Jack," he told him. "I know, and I don't... I'm just worried."

"Yeah," he rubbed at his eyes tiredly. "Me too."


	10. Chapter 9

_It was dark and hot, silent apart from the thrum and whine of the engines - for now. He couldn't move, didn't want to feel, didn't want the day to come and the pain and fear to start again. The darkness, heavy and brooding, was his only shelter, his only escape._

Ianto gripped the pillow in white-knuckled fists and shook, turning his head against the pillows as he tried to escape the nightmare. He gasped and choked, pushing himself up on hands and knees and throwing the quilt off onto the floor, reaching for the glass of water and swearing when his hand knocked against it and it tumbled to the floor. He sank back down again, kneeling up in the middle of the bed, and rested his hands palm up on his bare knees, watching as the water drained out of the glass onto the floor, pooling around the bottom of the bed.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, grimacing at the cold, damp sweat in it, and bent down to pick the glass up before standing up. A glance at the clock told him that it was well after midnight, by TARDIS time, which seemed to fall into a twenty eight hour day (most days), so he figured that neither of the other occupants of the TARDIS would be awake, and he didn't even bother grabbing a T shirt. After midnight also meant that the shortcuts to the kitchen were shorter and less complicated, which was a good thing when he was only half awake.

As he came out onto the kitchen corridor, slipping through a door that had been hidden in a wall painting of Brighton pier, he heard the sound of someone talking, and figured that he'd been wrong about both of his friends. Jack was talking in a low voice, and the Doctor was talking so quietly that Ianto couldn't hear him. He glanced down at his boxers and decided that he didn't care, changing the glass to his other hand and knocking on the door. "Hey there," Jack practically purred when he saw him, with an expression that was somewhere between a leer and love, but didn't quite hide his confusion. "This is a nice surprise."

Ianto shrugged, suddenly uncomfortable and looked down to his glass. "I couldn't sleep, and heard you talking... I thought the Doctor was with you, who were you talking to?"

Jack looked back into his room, then back at Ianto and back into his room again. His forehead creased in a frown of confusion, but he shook it off and tried to shrug lightly. "I... you... no one," he said finally, with a self-deprecating smile. "Talking to myself. I wouldn't mind an actual person to talk to, though?"

The leer was back, but Ianto let him have it this time, nodding and stepping back so that he could open the door fully and get into the room. Jack had sat on the bed again, his grey jogging pants low on his hips, and was watching Ianto like a cat watches a mouse. Ianto put his glass down on the desk first, then sat down on the bed, just out of Jack's reach. An uncomfortable silence descended between them until Jack said, "It's good to see you, Ianto."

He looked up sharply and studied Jack's open expression. "Jack," he started slowly. "We see each other every day..."

Jack shook his head and shifted closer, smiling warmly. Ianto had to fight the urge to move away. "No, I mean really, really see you," he told him.

Ianto looked down to where their legs were nearly touching now and shook his head. "You mean in my underwear?"

Jack smirked. "Well, that's an added bonus, I suppose. Although...

His hand landed on Ianto's leg and Ianto jerked away, pushing himself upright and backing away to stand against the wall. "Jack!" he snapped when Jack made to come after him. "What the fuck?"

"Ianto, I... Oh," his look of shocked, pained confusion turned to horror and embarassment – an expression that, up till now, Ianto hadn't thought Jack was capable of. He scrubbed his hands over his face and said, "I'm awake, aren't I?"

"You're..." realisation dawned and Ianto went very, very still. "You sick fuck," Jack tangled his hands in his hair and looked down at his knees. "You thought you were dreaming about me in my underwear, and you didn't find it weird? You're... well," he grabbed the glass and swallowed hard. "At least I know what I'm dealing with," he spat. "I need a drink."

Jack kept his head down after he heard the door slam shut, eyes closed tightly and tears dripping off his eyelashes. When he looked up, he made no attempt to stop the tears, and looked over to the desk, where Ianto was leaning with his hands in his pockets and his legs crossed at the ankle. "I'm sorry, Ianto," he whispered. "I thought... Well, you know what I thought," Ianto didn't respond, just nodded his understanding, and Jack groaned, burying his face in his hands again. "He's never going to speak to me again, is he?"

He shook his head fiercely and stood up, picking up a blue T shirt off the end of the bed and pulling it on. "I'm going for a walk," he told Ianto, making for the desk to kiss him goodbye before he remembered. "Ah, yeah... I keep forgetting, don't I?" he sighed and turned back to the door. "I love you, Ianto. I always will," when he looked back, Ianto was gone.

There wasn't enough alcohol on this ship. Quite frankly, Ianto thought, there wasn't enough alcohol in the world for what he wanted right now. "The..." he slammed his glass down on the work surface and pulled a bottle of vodka out from the cupboard beneath it, letting out a string of profanities as he did so. The vodka burned and stung when he downed it – too much, too fast – and forced tears into his eyes, but it numbed something in his mind and silenced the whispering voice that said that maybe he'd over-reacted. He finished the glass and shuddered, grimacing fiercely. It was good quality stuff.

He was far too likely to get found in the kitchen, he decided; his room was far safer and much further away from Jack. With two bottles of rum, and one of cola, just for the sake of appearances, he opened the door carefully and, after checking that it was free, set off on the long way round, back to his room. The corridors of the TARDIS weren't quite silent, but there was just that quiet humming of the engines and the living TARDIS, the sound of his bare feet thudding on the floor. He kept realising, repeatedly, that he was in his underwear – just his underwear – and hadn't that been a brilliant idea? Jack – fuck, what had he been thinking? Apart from about Ianto, of course. Mind you, if his partner died a year ago, and Ianto was the first person he'd reached out to since then... but still, dreaming about him in his underwear?

The door to the second console room was off down a corridor on the right, if would give him a slight short-cut, even if he had to walk across the grills in bare feet. He shifted the bottles into one hand and reached out to open the door. "What the fuck?"

He shut the door, glared at it and then opened it again. Still, it wasn't the console room. He slammed the door this time, glaring up at the ceiling and stalking back up to the main corridor and back the way he had been going. On the offchance, he pulled open the door that, at this time of night at least, have brought him out in the garden; it didn't. After six randomly chosen doors all came out in the same place, he gave up, thumped the wall next to the door and stalked into the room, dropping his drinks on the bed and turning around in the middle of the room. "Jack? You here?"

He wasn't, the room was empty apart from Ianto (not that that was hard to see in a room this size). Sometime whilst Ianto had been in the kitchen, Jack had left his room, and now the TARDIS had, for some reason known only to herself, decided that she was going to insist that Ianto came in here. Sighing, Ianto dropped onto the bed and rubbed at his eyes, closing them tightly and hoping that once he opened them, he wouldn't be alone in Jack's room, where Jack has just made a pass at him, and he wasn't as pissed as he wanted to be. He looked around again, taking in the well read copy of Hitch-Hiker's Guide on the bedside table, the wide range of genres represented on the bookcase, that big coat he wore when he was upset was hanging on the outside of the wardrobe too, and the notebook in the middle of the desk. Assuming that the TARDIS had something she actually wanted him to see, he went to get a closer look at the photos on the desk. There was one of him.

He nearly dropped it, but whilst his hand tried to get rid of it, his fingers clenched around it. It wasn't him, he hadn't had hair that short since he'd left home, he'd never really looked that happy – but it was someone who looked just like him. Judging by the pride of position it took, watching over Jack whenever he sat at his desk, it was probably his late partner. Christ, is he'd looked that much like Ianto, no wonder Jack watched him like he did, no wonder he'd made the attempt. No wonder he thought he'd been dreaming.

"The poor fucker must be totally nuts," he muttered, putting the photo back down.

"He's not coping well, no," the Doctor agreed from the doorway.

Ianto started and, guilty, refused to look up. "Jack's room is the place to be, I take it?"

"Used to be, yeah," the Doctor rubbed his ear and stepped into the room. "Used to be four times the size of this, and it had a hot tub. We'd stay up playing Monopoly until Rose fell asleep leaning on him," he sighed and sat on the bed, picking up the photo frame lying on the other side of it and looking at it. "Of course, its proximity to the kitchen helped as well. Now, though, not so much. Keeps himself to himself."

He nodded and shrugged. "She wouldn't let me out," he explained. "Every door I tried led in here."

"She wanted you to see something then," the Doctor smiled sadly and beckoned him over. "Or someone, come on."

"What is it?"

"Come here," he said again. "Sit on the bed, look at this."

He sighed and rolled his eyes, sitting down next to him. "I think I've seen... Yeah, I've seen him."

"Have you really, Ianto?" he asked. "Did you really look?"

Ianto took the proffered photo from him and really, really looked. Jack and his partner, who looked so like Ianto it was uncanny, and they were so happy. The sun was shining down on them, the sky behind them was blue, Jack's arms were wrapped around the other man's chest, one palm open flat above his heart, and their heads leant together, both smiling – Jack brighter and broader than he'd ever seen him smile, such a genuine smile. "Go on then, tell me about him."

"He made Jack so happy..."

"Yeah, I can see that," he chuckled. "You can never be this happy again, can you?"

"Well, you have to try," the Doctor sighed. "Do you really want to know about him?"

"I do," he confirmed after a moment's hesitation. "I think I have to."

"He worked with Jack, got closer to him than anyone has in a very long time. His name was Ianto Jones, and he died."

Ianto swallowed and passed the photo back to the Doctor, rubbing his face roughly. "Ianto..."

"Ianto Jones," this time it was addressed to him and he raised his gaze to the Doctor's. "Did you never wonder if you existed? If there was a version of you here?"

"I did, I mean... when I wasn't here, travelling with you..." he sighed. "I wondered where I was, what happened to me, why you never found me. How I coped without..." he chuckled. "Without you. I guess I know now. He had him."

"Yeah," the Doctor smiled sadly. "And Jack had him."

"And then he lost him," he sighed. "And I landed in his life like... like a kick when he was down."

"I think you picked him up, to start with, at least," the Doctor told him, bending down and picking a bottle up off the floor. "Now, though, I'm not so sure. This is Bolurae, it's a drug, a psychoseverance drug favoured by artists, writers, philosophers, some scientists. Theoretical scientists, mostly, not the practical ones. It cuts you off from anything but your thoughts, removes all the hurly burly of life, cultural perceptions, lets you feel and think without any outside influences. And Jack... well, I've heard him talking to himself."

"I heard him, earlier, I thought he was talking to you..." he swallowed again. "He wasn't though, he was talking to his Ianto. And he..."

"What?"

"I was dressed like this, and he thought that it was his Ianto again, and, well, he made a pass at me."

"And you brushed him off."

"Shouted, swore at him, managed to stop short of hitting him," he ran his hand through his hair. "Fuck, Doctor, I feel awful."

"You know now, though," he pointed out gently. "You know, and you know what he needs from you."

"He needs me," he sighed. "But Doctor, I'm not his Ianto. If he loves me, he's loving a lie."

"Good line," the Doctor smiled. "Honestly, just be yourself with him. You're different enough that he'll see it, he just needs time."

"I'll do what I can," Ianto promised. "Just, keep us moving. Don't keep us knocking around here together."

"I knew I liked you, Ianto Jones."


	11. Chapter 10

**Author's Note:** NaNoWriMo total wordcount is 22060, which means I'm behind. But all is well, for I have LittleMissBob, my darling Lillibet (Lizzy) sitting at my dining table and harranguing me to write more.

I do apologise for the delay, but university somehow happened, and I had to write an essay, the boring one. I still have one to write on Jack, which will not be boring at all.

In the meantime:

* * *

Ianto laced his boots up with quick, spare movements and pulled them as tight as they would go, then kicked the bed leg hard twice with each boot and tightened them again. He grabbed the short sleeved black shirt off the bed and pulled it on over his T shirt as he left, leaving it unbuttoned and hanging open. Six o'clock on a Tuesday Morning. Far too early for any normal person, but there weren't any normal people on board, and they were all usually up, breakfasted and getting on each others nerves by seven on an average day. He didn't really need to think about the routes around the TARDIS – down the corridor in the wrong direction, through the wall that wasn't a wall and double back about the same distance, then promise no to kick the TARDIS again until she lets you through the fake store room by the laboratory and then through the room that every Tuesday got filled with brightly coloured plastic balls, and try not to let too many of them escape into the final corridor.

The Doctor looked up at him with an expression of reproach when a blue ball went sailing past his head and straight into the panel he had open. "Ianto..."

He tossed a pink ball from hand to hand and held it up in the universal gesture for 'catch it or drop it, up to you'. "What's the point of having a room full of playpen balls if we don't play with them?"

"They're supposed to stay in the playpen," he pointed out, sitting up straight and shifting around so that his back was against the wall of the TARDIS, holding out his hands in the universal gesture for 'just throw it'. "I could go and supervise you, if you need it," he teased, catching the ball and flicking it back. "Under twelves aren't allowed in alone."

"Ha fucking ha," he muttered, smiling despite himself. "What do you want me to do?"

"Talk to me for a start," he held onto the ball this time and turned back to the panel. "I know there's something on your mind."

Ianto walked over to the Doctor and sat down on the other side of the open panel to watch him working. He passed him the tools he needed when asked and let his mind wander. Last night had brought a lot to think about; most of it couldn't be answered by anyone but him – could he accept that Jack loved him for someone he'd never been, could he put Jack through that, could he put himself through that, was he genuinely attracted to Jack, or was he just attracted to the feeling of being wanted? And so many more questions, burning inside his mind until he wasn't sure whether he had an answer to anything at all. Did Jack feel like this too? He sighed as he passed over the wire cutters and the Doctor looked up at him, eyes gentle and warm. "Found your question?"

He nodded slowly. "No. Tell me about Jack."

The Doctor's movements slowed, but he kept his eyes fixed on his work. "That sounds like a very definite contradiction."

Ianto sighed and let his head fall back against the wall, rubbing it absently. "I don't mean about, about Jack, I mean... about him. As a person, what's he like?"

"You know him by now, surely?"

"Not the real him, or... I guess I... how do you see him, is what I'm asking."

The Doctor nodded and bit off a strip of Duct Tape. "Mmph," he took the tape out of his mouth and reached into the panel with it. "Sorry, well... maybe you should ask Jack?"

"Doctor."

"Ianto," he sighed and pulled his sonic screwdriver out. "Jack's a hero, a lover, a friend, a leader and a soldier. He was a killer, a conman and fugitive, but he would always, always do anything to protect the people he cares about," the buzzing filled the silence. "He's a good man, bigger on the inside."

"All the best things are bigger on the inside."

"They are, they are," he agreed with a smile. "What about you, Ianto Jones?"

"What about me?" he looked away to the console.

"Are you bigger on the inside?"

He shrugged. "You tell me, do you think I'm bigger on the inside?"

"Well, I dunno yet. You have to be a pretty big man to accept what you found out tonight, to stand up to me and make me go back for Jack when you barely know me..."

Am I proving myself then?" he asked bitterly. "Am I worthy?"

"Oh Ianto," the Doctor chided him as though he was talking utter rubbish. "You never had to prove yourself. But, if you had, you did that in the school."

"You were an ass."

"I noticed," they worked in silence for a while until the Doctor chuckled. "And it takes a lot to make me admit that. You'll be alright."

"But what about Jack?" he asked quietly. "Will he be alright?"

The Doctor shook his head in wonder. "You really are remarkable, Ianto. He wouldn't blame you if you hated him forever."

"You would."

"Yep."

"And I'd be missing out on something, wouldn't I?" he sighed. "I'm hurting him just by being here. Last night, I can't imagine what he's feeling now. And you say he's drugging himself..." he thumped his head back against the wall. "I like him, he's a... a nice guy. And he's a hero and everything you listed, but I feel like our pasts are coming between us becoming friends."

"Just friends?"

"Well if we can't become friends, anything else is out the window," he snapped. "Yes, Doctor, I would love to have someone who cares about me handed to me on the plate, yes, I would love to let Jack believe that I'm the man he loved and lost, but I'm not."

He pushed himself to his feet and stormed across the console room, throwing himself into a chair. "We're made the people we are by what we see, the things we do, the people we know; you taught me that, Doctor. And I'm not him, he was made into him by having people who loved him – by having Jack. I'm me because..."

"Ianto?" the Doctor asked quietly, leaning against the console.

He shook his head and pulled his heels up onto the edge of the chair, tucking his chin against it. "I never met my Jack, Doctor. I never had that."

"Maybe you can, now?" he suggested. "You both have a chance."

Ianto shook his head and dropped it to his knees again, his reply of "I wish" inaudible.

* * *

Jack peered around the door to the console room and saw the Doctor leaning against the console, long fingers wrapped around a mug of – presumably – tea, smiling to himself and listening to the noise of the engines. He watched his old friend for a while, then stepped into the room and made his presence known. Only then did he notice the pair of solid black boots, attached to stonewashed jeans that led to a white T shirt that was riding up slightly and disappeared inside a panel in the TARDIS. He dragged his gaze away from the small strip of pale skin revealed between the T shirt and the jeans and shook his head frantically at the Doctor, turning away.

"Jack?" he stopped and dropped his head in resignation when the Doctor called him, turning back. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he lied. "I..."

"Doctor," Ianto had pulled himself out from the panel he'd been looking at and was glancing between Jack, the Doctor and his hands, mostly the latter.

"Yes, Ianto?" he asked, not taking his worried gaze off Jack.

"No offence meant, but fuck off for a while?"

The Doctor snapped his mouth shut hurriedly and nodded. "Right, yes, of course, mind your language."

Ianto still didn't look up after the Doctor left, and as every second passed, the urge to run grew in Jack's chest, until it became a physical pressure and he could barely breath around it. He heard Ianto calling his voice and shook his head fiercely, fighting off the ghosts, then Ianto's hand was squeezing his shoulder and Ianto had to catch him as he dropped towards the ground. He choked against the feeling in his chest and looked up at Ianto again. "Real Ianto?"

"'Fraid so," Ianto smiled sadly and, after he made sure that Jack was settled comfortably against the wall and not going to fall any further, sat down next to him. "I'm sorry about the way I reacted, earlier," he started quietly. "I didn't... fuck, Jack," he reached out automatically and squeezed Jack's knee when he started at the suddenly harsh tone to Ianto's voice. "I didn't mean it like that, just... if you'd told me about him, about me. God, jack, I'd have understood."

"You'd have smiled and nodded in all the right places, let me believe that you were him," Jack told him in a flat monotone, smiling bitterly at Ianto's expression that clearly said that he was torn between agreeing and insisting that he couldn't. "You're not so different, you and him. Just different enough."

"Well," he started, looking away and scowling, taking his hand from Jack's knee. "I wouldn't have wandered into your room in my underwear, at least."

Jack chuckled dryly and shifted. "That would have helped, I admit. Although... I would probably still have..."

"Ianto," the Doctor had returned and Ianto pushed himself to his feet, giving Jack a slight nod as he did so. "No offence, but fuck off."

"Please don't swear," he rolled his eyes. "It sounds wrong on you. See you later."

The Doctor watched him go with a fond smile, then offered his hand to Jack. "Come and sit down," he instructed gently.

He hesitated, then sat on the sofa, glancing up when the Doctor sat next to him, then resolutely looking away. "I feel like I've been called into the head teacher's office to explain myself."

"Bolurae."

"Oh good," he dropped his head into his hands. "I have been called into the head teacher's office."

"Jack..." he warned, "it won't help."

"It does," he insisted vehemently. "When I need someone to talk to, someone who understands, he's there. When I need, more than anything, to forget what a mess I am."

The Doctor sighed and squeezed his hand. "Jack, if you need someone to talk to, Ianto, this Ianto, is here, I'm here. You're on a sentient spaceship," he'd not really been listening since the Doctor hand mentioned Ianto. "Just, promise me that you'll try to stop? Please?"

He hesitated, then nodded, squeezing the Doctor's hand back. "I don't want to let him go, Doctor," tears flooded his eyes and he shook his head. "How can I give him up again?"

"I'm sorry, Jack," he told him. "I'm so sorry, but you have to. You have to move on."


	12. Chapter 11

**Author's note:** Wordcount: 24014.

So many dares in this chapter. Have fun! Dedicated to all the peeps who I've seen at write-ins lately, especially LiquidLash.

* * *

Lillibetza smiled at the group of three men and approached them, gesturing openly into the room. "Sirs, can I get you a drink?"

"Water please," the Doctor smiled at her broadly. "Jack, Ianto?"

Jack hesitated, then nodded. "Water for me, too, please."

"Of course, and..." she turned to Ianto, who glanced at his companions and nodded decisively.

"Rum and coke, please," he smiled at her and shrugged at the Doctor as she walked away. "What? I'm twenty five, I'm not going sober just because you two are."

The Doctor snorted and made his way over to a group of chairs. "Someone's lying about his age," he muttered. "So, this is nice, isn't it?"

Jack attempted a smile, for him, and nodded. "I went to a party on one of these cruisers once, a long time ago," he accepted a glass of water from the pretty young waitress absently and leaned back in his chair. "It was just on town for once night, I was hanging around... Was a good night."

Ianto took an experimental sip of whatever his request for a rum and coke had produced, thought about it for a moment, then downed the lot in one go. "Not bad."

"Do you want to know what it is?" the Doctor offered.

"Nope," he frowned at the glass. "Just how many I can drink and still walk."

The Doctor frowned and opened his mouth to speak, but Jack beat him to it, waving a hand. "Keep going."

He tipped his glass to Jack and caught the girl's eye again. "same again, please, and can you keep them coming?"

She gave him a small smile and disappeared to the bar again. Ianto averted his eyes from the other two and a silence descended on them. Eventually, after she'd returned with his glass, he chuckled and looked through the green liquid at the ceiling light. "I never thought I'd actually wish for aliens to burst through the door and ruin the party."

The doctor shrugged. "They're not going to burst, exactly, more..."

"Doctor?" he asked, choking on his drink. "Are you saying..."

He looked shifty. "Well, I heard about them, and figured that this would be a likely place to meet them, thought it would be interesting to have a look."

Jack and Ianto groaned and Ianto downed his drink again. "I should stop drinking then."

"What can you tell us Doctor?" Jack asked.

"Weeelll..." he clicked his teeth. "Not much, actually. Keep your eyes open."

"Are they dangerous?" Jack asked, shooting a not-quite subtle glance at Ianto as he asked. "Do we need to worry?"

The Doctor shook his head. "I wouldn't take you somewhere dangerous on purpose, Jack."

He sighed. "Somehow, that isn't comforting. I'd rather expect to end up running for my life than be unprepared for it."

Ianto rolled his eyes and tuned them out, looking around the gradually filling hall. One wall and the ceiling were made of glass, facing out into the depths of space with the glittering galaxies spanning out ahead of them. Frosted glass columns with swirling coloured patterns arched to the ceiling and paled to transparency, blending into the vaulting glass above. The mingling crowd were of varied races, ranging from translucent tentacled beings eight feet high drinking thick, gloopy liquids, to waif like sprites which moved faster than they appeared capable of and taking appetisers from the trays carried by the army of discrete waiters and waitresses with an air of childish delight. A chattering crowd swept towards the door, then back into the room around some notable figure who Ianto didn't recognise, presumably some politician or royalty.

As his gaze swept further around the room, taking in now the extraordinary collection of bottled drinks behind the bar, reflected in the huge mirror, he paused for a moment, meeting the eyes of a tall, slender man leaning casually against the bar. He was pale, with long white-blond hair and high eyebrows and cheekbones, and he wore a floor length black leather coat with a deep purple lining over a starched white shirt and jet black trousers with black shoes that were so highly polished that they shone. Ianto swallowed and looked away when the man gave him a sardonic smile and a nod, taking a deep drink from his glass and signaling for another.

Jack and the Doctor had stopped arguing, and Jack was staring into his glass again, casting occasional wary glances around the room. The Doctor was looking around in interest, grinning in excitement. "See this, Ianto, markets and parties, you can't get this mix of people anywhere else."

"Yes, Doctor," he smirked, hiding behind another glass. "It's an amazing atmosphere."

"No need to be like that," he pointed out pleasantly. "I'm just enjoying myself."

"I can tell," he grinned and glanced at the man by the bar again, his grin dropping. "Where's the ship bound for?"

"Midnight," he leaned back and stretched his legs out, crossing them at the ankle. "It's a holiday cruise to the pleasure domes of the diamond planet."

Music started up from the band on the stage, a quiet background sound for people to start moving to and Ianto dropped his head back, tapping his foot against the table. He had closed his eyes, and opened them when a voice like hot dark chocolate purred above him. "Gentlemen, do you mind if I join you?"

Jack and Ianto had both taken a breath to speak, but the Doctor grinned brightly as he beat them to it. "Feel free. I'm the Doctor, nice to meet you."

He gave a sultry smile and shook the Doctor's hand, sitting down in the armchair next to him. "Doctor who, may I ask?"

"Just the Doctor," they chorused. Ianto hid a smile and nodded at their new companion. "I'm Ianto, this is Jack."

"Nice to meet you both," he beamed at them and leaned forwards. "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm Christopher. Call me Chris, though."

"Okay, Chris," Ianto smiled at him, then looked away, biting his tongue hard to stop. Chris had the same magnetic attraction as Jack had, but more magnetic, and without all the complications. It was impossible not to be drawn to him, unless he fell back on Jack's pure attraction. Comparing the two suggested to him that there was something more to Chris than met the usual senses.

He shifted uncomfortably, aware of both Jack and Chris watching him, and looked around the room. Two men dancing close together to the new song that had started caught his eye, largely because of the white cowboy boots with bright pink toes and soles and glittering pink flames up the sides that one of them was wearing. The other, looking over his dance partner's shoulder, caught Ianto's gaze and winked. Ianto glanced at Jack, looking away as soon as he saw that Jack was looking at him, and smiled at the dancer. He smiled back and whispered in the other man's ear, then they were pulling apart and walking towards Ianto. He groaned internally and sought out Jack's gaze to request a rescue, but he was exchanging annoyed glares with the Doctor now. Before Ianto could make an escape to the bar, the couple were upon him, and the booted dancer bent down and grabbed his hand, pulling him to his feet and tugging him towards the dance floor. The other dancer bowed to Jack, the Doctor and Chris, and Ianto heard him saying, "Don't mind us, sirs, we're just borrowing your friend for a moment. I am Pablo, that is Rupert, and it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

A moment later he had glided across to Ianto and Rupert, cupping Rupert's cheek and kissing him hotly, then wrapping his other hand around the back of Ianto's neck and kissing him more chastely than Rupert, but not quite chastely enough. Ianto jerked away, then smiled apologetically. Pablo shrugged and wrapped his arms around Ianto and Rupert's waists, pulling them close. Ianto felt Rupert's arm go around from the other side and looked around at him. "Relax," Pablo chuckled. "You're at a party!"

He laughed and relaxed slightly, fakely, resting one hand on the small of each man's back and swaying with the music, turning them gradually. When he could see his friends again, he desperately sought out Jack's gaze, but he was staring at the floor again. Movement caught his eye, and he saw Christopher drifting across the floor, cutting an admiring swathe through the dancers. He tightened his grasp involuntarily, then released his breath and smiled brightly at them all, groaning as the music changed again. "Oh God, this one."

"You don't like it?" Rupert asked, affronted.

He grinned and shook his head, pulling back and pausing to catch up with the beat, bounce kicking with the music, grinning when they joined in. "Fond memories," he laughed. Bounce kick, bounce kick, bounce kick kick. The vocals kicked in. "Wake me up before you go go!"

Pablo roared with laughter and threw his arms around Ianto's neck, kissing his cheek enthusiastically. "Knew you'd be fun!"

Christopher reached them and hesitated, just for the briefest momment, then pulled Ianto away from Pablo and gave the two men an apologetic smile. "Sorry, our song," he grinned, sliding his hand down Ianto's arm to take his hand instead of his shoulder, pulling him into a clear area and moving with the music. "You looked like you needed a rescue," he purred.

Ianto had stiffened, and searched for Jack again over Christopher's shoulder. "I was fine, once I got into the music."

"Ah, well..." he beamed and Ianto melted a bit. "I am sorry, but I couldn't resist the opportunity to play the here and get a gorgeous guy like yourself in my arms as a reward."

He bit the inside of his cheek and shook his head. "You're impossible."

"Impossible to resist."

"Unbelievable."

"Unbelievably gorgeous."

"Intolerable."

"Same again," he smiled predatorially and pulled Ianto closer. "You're no fun."

Ianto caught himself leaning in and glanced away from Christopher's eyes, seeing Jack's expression when he did so. "And you're a grabby dance partner, I like to actually dance, thanks," he ducked out of his hands and worked through the crowd, resisting the urge to look back a him, and flopped onto the sofa next to Jack. "First, talk about out of the frying pan and into the fire. Second, I don't think he can actually dance, just have sex vertically. Third, I'm simultaneously too drunk and not drunk enough to dance properly."

Jack had looked up at him in surprise when he sat down, and now patted his leg with a chuckle. "I would offer you a dance, but I probably wouldn't live up to your exacting standards."

"You'd try," he glared at Christopher, who was approaching them, and shook his head. "That matters more than talent."

"Yeah, I guess it does," he smiled gently and gestured to the Doctor. "You should ask him to dance."

"No," the Doctor smiled and shook his head. "Two left feet this time, look," he dropped his feet onto the table and grinned. "See?"

"Yes, Doctor," Ianto smiled and picked his drink up again, exchanging an amused glance with Jack as he did so. As he took a long drink, he paused and lowered the glass. "Doctor, does this stuff cause hallucinations?" he asked slowly.

"Shouldn't do, why?"

He closed his eyes tightly and pinched the bridge of his nose, then pointed across the room. "Multi-coloured hamsters, by the door."

"What?" his gaze swung around and he frowned. "What?" the hamsters swarmed into the room and the crowd turned to look at them, backing away with scattered screams. "What!?"


	13. Chapter 12

**Author's Note:** Wordcount: 27224. I am getting there! Hopefully updates will become rapid again, as I have finished the two essays I had going on.

Dedicated to Lizzy, who I miss like crazy. And a big hello to everyone out there who I don't get to talk to in review replies! I love you all, I really do. (Those who leave signed reviews get my love in their inboxes. Hint hint)  


* * *

"What?" he asked yet again, as the crowd flooded towards them away from the invading horde. "The Medola Collusion? What are they... Oh..."

Ianto rolled his eyes and stood up for just long enough to grab hold of Rupert by his wrist and tug him out of the flow of people, down onto the sofa next to him, so that he had to squish up close next to Jack so that Rupert and Pablo could join them. He turned his attention to the two men and did his best to calm them down. "Hey, it's alright, we'll look after you," he insisted, glancing down at their white knuckled grips on each other and feeling a pang of loneliness. "We're far too used to this."

"Ianto, it's the Medola Collusion!" Pablo snapped, waving his free hand around in the and and then resting it on Rupert's far shoulder, holding onto him. "Oh deity!"

"Which deity?" Christopher asked, folding his tall frame into the armchair he'd taken earlier. "I do hope you don't mind me joining your haven of tranquility, gentlemen, Ianto..."

Ianto smiled frostily and returned his attention to the men beside him. "Who are the... the Medula..."

"The Medola Collusion," the Doctor leaned in so that they could hear him over the growing panic of the crowd. "They're a group of anarco-communist pirates, feared in every tourism and leisure based galaxy for their ruthless devotion to equality."

"Hang on..." Ianto's brain threatened to bleed out of his ears at the concept. "They're hamsters."

"Just think about..."

"Yeah, just imagine what I look like to them, I know," he sighed, patting Rupert comfortingly on the knee and standing up so that the other three had more room. He moved around Jack and leaned against the arm of the sofa next to him, resting his hand lightly on his shoulder and watching the hamsters organising the party goers into groups. The colour of their fur didn't seem to indicate anything regarding teams or ranks, but there could be a pattern he hadn't seen yet. "Just... one wouldn't think that a hamster would be very threatening to a Murth."

"Well spotted," the Doctor praised him proudly. "Weell..." he rubbed his ear and returned to the question, "they're not threatening in themselves, it's the way they go about it."

Ianto raised an eyebrow and folded his arms, refusing to pose as the Doctor's foil again. If he wanted to tell them something, he would have to just tell them. They stared at each other, until someone else broke the stalemate. "They... they can hurt people, if they choose to," Rupert told him. "But... they don't really need to."

Pablo took up the explanation, "They choose ships with couples, parents, politicians, anyone who is vulnerable to threats. If your partner, your child, your career are threatened... people are more likely to try heroics when it's their lives at stake, than when it's the things they hold dear."

Ianto looked down at their pair of them and smiled, letting them know he understood, then turned to Christopher. "What about you, what's your weakness, or do we get a display of heroics from you?"

He smiled acidly, revealing elongated canines. "I'm sorry, Ianto, you underestimate my cowardice."

He smirked and shook his head. "You wish. Doctor, what do we do?"

The Doctor looked up with a smile. "Ianto Jones, you really are remarkable," he stood up quickly and put his glasses on, looking around the room. "Four groups, they've got... oh, they've done their research. Tell me, Rupy-Rupert, has anyone ever spoken in detail about what occurs when the Medola attack a ship?"

"No, look, I'm sorry, we don't know your names..." he looked up at Ianto sheepishly. "We were more worried about dancing."

"Quite right too, dancing is a wonderful thing. I'm the Doctor, and I am going to get you out of this, I promise," he looked around again and nodded decisively. "Ianto, can you be ready with a diversion when I give a signal."

"I'll do it," Jack laid a hand on his arm and stood up, smiling at him guiltily. "I'm more likely to recognise his signal."

Ianto chuckled and dropped his gaze to the floor. "You're allowed to be protective of me, Jack, I won't bite your head off; even if he did," he felt suddenly shy. "I could even come to admit to liking the feeling that someone wants to protect me."

Jack looked like he was about to say something, but he just nodded and turned away, gesturing to Christopher. "Come with me, I may need your help. Doctor, I'll watch for your signal."

They watched him go, then the Doctor turned to Ianto. "Keep everyone calm, the Collusion aren't hamsters, they're Bathnark, just so you know, but they are small and therefore vulnerable. But if one of them gets hurt, they won't hesitate to retaliate. Have you ever been attacked by a swarm of colourful hamsters?"

"Hamsters, no, but squirrels," he shook his head in response to the Doctor's questioning look. "Hive mind. Honestly terrifying, and a story for another day."

"Right, yes, good point, Ianto... hive mind squirrels? Anyway, yes, keep them calm. Make sure that they don't try to fight back," he instructed, looking past Ianto to Rupert and Pablo. "You too, you two. Circulate, keep people calm, make sure no one's hurt, and keep them safe."

"Yes, Doctor," Pablo nodded and pulled Rupert to his feet. "Mingle, we can do that."

"I bet they can," he muttered with a smile as the two of them insinuated themselves into the crowd and started to dissolve the tension. He and Ianto exchanged a grin and he clapped Ianto on the shoulder. "Right, I'm going to go and talk to the hosts."

"Hamsters."

"Bathnark."

"Hamsters. Be careful, and watch out for Jack."

Ianto shook his head fondly as the Doctor headed off to the main gathering of ham... Bathnark and turned to the crowd, spotting that a group of the sprite-girls he'd spotted earlier were getting louder and louder as the hamsters – Bathnark – bustled around them. He picked up Jack's unfinished water and took it with him, stepping over a line of the tiny aliens and approaching the girls, resting his hand between the nearest girl's shoulder blades and handing her the glass. "Are you alright? You're looking pale."

One of her friends flailed at him and he caught her hand, bringing it down gently and rubbing her arm gently as she spoke. She was talking too fast for him to catch it over the crowd noise, especially over the noise of her equally fast-speaking friends around them, but he could tell that she was scared – they all were. He looked around and grabbed a chair, pushing her into it and crouching down next to her, then beckoned one of her friends over, holding up a hand to quieten her. "Hey, it's okay. My name's Ianto, I'll look after you. What's your name, sweetheart?" 'Please let them be from a culture that sees endearments as endearments," he thought as soon as the word was out of his mouth.

She stared at him for a couple of seconds, then threw herself into his arms and started crying. "Oh Ianto! It's the collusion, we're never going to get home! I just want to go home. I want my mother!"

He swayed backwards, then tightened his arms around her and ran his hand through her hair gently, rocking her and looking up at one of her friends, catching her eye. "Hey, sweetheart, I said I'd look after you, didn't I?" she sniffed and nodded against his neck. "There we go. Now," he pulled back and beckoned the other girl over, nudging the first (second, really) over to her. "You've got to take care of each other, okay? I have to make sure that everyone is alright. Stay calm, and just do what they tell you to. We don't want anyone getting hurt, and the easiest way to stay safe is to do what they want. I'm here with some friends of mine, and we'll get you out of this, I promise."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to make sure that no one is hurt," he reassured them. "I'll come back. In the meantime, just stay together, stay low and stay calm, okay?" they nodded and he looked to the girl he'd given the water to. She was clutching the glass tightly. "What's your name, cariad?"

"Treasure," she looked up at him. "What do you mean, stay low?"

"Sit on the floor," he told her gently, standing up himself, and wondering where the Welsh endearment had come from. "If you're already on the floor, you can't fall over, can you?"

She smiled at him nervously and looked around at her friends, then they started sitting down slowly. He rested his hand on her head as he passed and moved on to the next group, and then the next, talking to people and calming them down as he went. Looking around, he saw Jack and Christopher across the room, heads together and discussing something earnestly – he really hoped it wasn't him – and then Pablo and Rupert who had found a tray of drinks somewhere and were moving through the crowd, marshaling the waiting staff to do the same and doing their best to return things to normal. Scuttling around the hall, the brightly coloured hamsters were organising people into groups randomly, just for ease of organising a small number of people apparently. Several were watching Ianto from the back of a sofa, and he met their gazes levelly. They stared at each other, weighing each other up, then they nodded at him and turned away, letting him get on with doing their job for them.

* * *

"If he's spoken for, one of you should have said something," Christopher told him casually, watching with a smirk as Jack's hand clenched into fists and released again. He leaned against the huge glass window, looking out at the stars and studying Jack's reflection. "Or is he not spoken for?"

"He's not," Jack told him shortly. "He just doesn't like you."

"But you wish he were spoken for and wouldn't object if he disliked me more," me chuckled. "Jack, you really are most transparent."

Jack came and leaned against the window, keeping his gaze on the Doctor. "He looks a lot like my _late_ partner," Christopher winced and some of the arrogance dropped from him. "But other than that, I have no claim on him, and I don't want one. But I do want to keep him safe."

"I can't help it!" Christopher insisted defensively. "It's a biological magnetism."

"Yeah, I know, I've dated your kind before," he told him absently, watching the Doctor as he engaged in a discussion with some members of the Collusion, then glancing across to where Ianto had vanished, craning to look until he saw that he was kneeling on the floor.

"My kind, what do you mean 'my kind'," he demanded, slightly offended.

"Vampires, pair of twins, acrobats..."

"Tessa and Phota?"

"You know them?" he asked with a grin.

Christopher was frowning. "You dated my brother and sister?"

Before an argument could escalate, Jack got the Doctor's signal. "Here we go," they glared at each other for a second and pushed their way through the crowd.

People were more tightly packed at the edge of the party-goers crowd, where they crushed together to get away from the invading horde, and the Doctor had to squeeze his way through with a combination of politeness and the application of sharp elbows. Once he got through, though, the floor was clear, and although everyone watched him, he was allowed to approach the largest group of Bathnark. "Hello, excuse me, I'd like to speak to you as the representative of the passengers. I wonder if you could spare a representative?"

"A representative?" one of them asked. "Why do you wish for a representative?"

He looked around and gestured to the crowd. "Well, you look to be busy, things to do and all that, just wondered if one of you has the time to tell us what's going on, and I'll pass the message on to this lot, our lot..." he put on his most serious face. "Would make all of our lives much easier, don't you think?"

There was fevered muttering among the group, then a few of them broke away and gestured that he sit on the floor. "We have time, we will talk to you," one told him.

"Right, that's good. That's excellent, in fact. Right, well, I wondered if you could tell us first what you're here for, see where we can help each other?"

"We are the Medola Collusion", one told him, as if that explained everything.

"Well," he rubbed his ear. "Right, and the Medola Collusion is?" no sense in making this too easy.

"We are an anarcho-communist syndicate, dedicated to redistributing the wealth of the universe more evenly."

"Redistributing... Oh, I see..." he looked around the room. "So you target the pleasure cruisers, where the rich and famous of the universe gather, showing off their wealth..."

"And we redistribute their wealth," he was told. "That is correct. We are all equal, all species. We also campaign against slavery, support equal opportunities and equal pay for all species and oppose monarchic systems."

"Democracy isn't quite equality," another sniffed. "But it is as equal as most species are able to cope with at the moment."

"What about democracy and monarchy in one system? Elected government but monarcy as a figurehead."

"Well... maybe, depends on how they run it," the one who responded to that question (pink fur) opened its mouth to continue the discussion, but the Doctor waved his hand.

"So, wait, hang on, you're here to redistribute the wealth, how?"

"We pool all resources on this ship, including our personal wealth, take ten percent to give to charities in the poorest part of the universe, then divide it equally between everyone."

"What, you just... just redistribute the wealth?" he asked, perplexed. "But everyone on the ship is terrified of you."

"Well," one shrugged. "Sometimes achieving the end you desire requires actions you would rather not commit."

"The end justifies the means?" he asked coldly. "Do you know how many people have died because of that belief?"

"And how many more have died because of inequality, Doctor?" one asked. "We know who you are, who are you to judge us?"

He looked up, across the room, and nodded to Jack. "The only one who can. You have to stop this, you have to stop threatening people. What you're doing is... brilliant, it really is. But you can never achieve what you want through threats. You strive for everyone to be equal, but everyone in this room is scared of you, you are in charge. If you want equality, it has to be primarily by peaceful means, only standing up in this way when absolutely necessary."

They swelled in indignation, but their attention was distracted by something (or someone) in the crowd. As they chattered angrily and swarmed away to deal with whatever Jack and Christopher were doing, the Doctor took advantage of the lack of attention on him to slip out of the room, pulling his sonic screwdriver out of his inside pocket as he padded down the corridor. Their ship was in the loading bay without a guard – they must have known that everyone was in the party and that this floor was out of bounds to everyone except staff – and it was the work of a moment to let himself in and find the hold. He lay on the floor of a corridor, looking down into it. "It's a big ship, for such a small species," he pointed out.

"We deal with it," the pink Bathnark told him, leaning against the wall; he was as tall as the Doctor's shoe. "We need the hold size. I'm Gliss."

"Hello, Gliss. I'm the Doctor," he looked up with a frown. "How many raids have you done?"

"This is our sixth and final of this trip. Six raids a trip, and this is my twelfth trip," he shrugged. "We give our lives to this cause, but it's worth it. Our people have all dedicated their lives to achieving equality, and these raids help to finance the lives of a whole world – if we had to work, to spend our lives making money to live, we couldn't give as much time to others."

"But your entire world relies on piracy."

Gliss shook his head. "It relies on us, on ingenuity. We need the money from this to buy what we need from other species, mainly ships, but we are largely self-sufficient. All food is shared equally, and anyone not involved in producing food, in healthcare and providing safety, other essential services, they join the ships to collect and distribute wealth through the galaxy."

"I should stop you," he told him, his voice echoing in the hold. "But it really is brilliant. I just... I can't let you hurt people."

"We don't," Gliss told him sadly. "Our reputation came through an accident. We lost an entire crew, and everyone on the ship they targeted, because some idiot had nothing to lose. Rather like your friend."

"Ah, yes, Jack. He wouldn't let anyone get hurt."

"That's the only reason I've not released the hatch and dumped you in the hold until we get home," Gliss told him with a smirk. "Now, I know you never carry money, Doctor, and your friends don't look like they do either. So..."

"We should go?"

"I think that would be a good idea," he smiled. "Although, you can stay until your sensible friend has calmed everyone for us, or, in fact, just leave him with us?"

"I think he'd object if I left him behind," he muttered, pushing himself up off the floor. "I'll stay out of your way though."

"Thank you, Doctor," Gliss smiled tightly and turned away. "Out of our ship, please."

"Of course, I'll wait on the corridor."

He'd been waiting nearly an hour when Ianto approached him down the corridor looking angry. Jack was behind him, with Pablo and Rupert bringing up the rear. "I thought we were going to sort it, Doctor!" he demanded angrily, "Where were you?"

"The future stability of the universe depends on the work that the Bathnark are doing at this point in time," he explained, looking Ianto in the eye. "The work they do is amazing."

"Those girls were terrified."

"Ianto," he scoffed. "They're practically hamsters, they've never actually hurt anyone."

"But..." Ianto growled and glanced over his shoulder. "Room for two more, Doctor?" he asked more quietly. "They don't want to go on, they just want to go home, and they helped."

"Yeah, of course there's room for two more," he grinned. "Welcome to the TARDIS."

Pablo raised his eyebrows. "I assume it's bigger on the inside? Either that, or you lot get on better than I thought."

Jack and Ianto caught each others' eyes and laughed, whilst the Doctor hid a grin, sulked and opened the door for them all.


	14. Chapter 13

**Author's Note:** Wordcount total: 29205. I am back on track :D

* * *

"This is the kitchen."

"No, really?" Rupert asked, looking around in mock surprise. "I would never have known!"

Pablo grinned and leaned on the counter. "It's very... bright," he commented. It was, at the moment. The countertops were blue and the doors were yellow with blue handles.

Ianto patted the bright green fridge and opened it, pulling out a beer. "Want one?"

"Oh, no thanks," Rupert turned around slowly and grinned at him. "It's amazing. Is the fridge bigger on the inside too?"

"Yep," he popped his Ps. "Except on Thursdays. She doesn't like Thursdays much."

"So... where does it all go on a Thursday?"

He shrugged and took a drink from the bottle before answering. "Presumably the same place that the whole kitchen does between six fourteen and seven seventeen on a Wednesday. Or where the cinema goes when it's not after four on a Friday."

"Right..." they looked around nervously now. "Erm, what day is it?"

"Friday, which means that getting anywhere is a bit of an adventure. More tour?"

"Okay," they followed him hesitantly out onto the corridor and he smirked a little. Just a little. "How did you end up travelling on a ship that's bigger on the inside?" Rupert asked, twining his fingers with Pablo's.

Ianto shrugged again and some of the smirk fell away. "Just happened, I guess. I'm from a parallel universe, but I met the Doctor there and got shifted through to this one by accident. And here I am."

"No, but really. Does it happen like it did with us, we happen to pick on someone who is travelling with him?"

"Well," he led them through a hidden door into a large ballroom with a crystal chandalier and huge mirrors. "I guess it was that way. Some the Doctor chooses himself, I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time – or the right place at the right time, I suppose. My boss was an alien."

"Your boss..." Pablo shook his head and sat down in one of the chairs at the side of the room. "Sorry, explain that."

Ianto rolled his eyes as Rupert sat next to Pablo and they folded their arms, and he caught sight of Jack standing in the doorway and reflected in the mirror over their heads. He forced himself to relax and looked back to them. "I worked for the mayor's office in Cardiff, and the mayor was the last survivor of an alien family who had taken over the government of the country a few months before, they could pose as humans, taking their identity, and they used it to infiltrate positions of power. The Doctor recognised her and went after her, I got caught in the middle and they needed an extra person to stop her, before she destroyed the world. I joined with them and, well, I wasn't going to be able to work there any more, and there was nothing keeping me on Earth, so I went with them."

"What, you just went?" Pablo asked. "What about your family?" Ianto shook his head and Pablo raised his hand to his mouth. "Oh deity, I'm sorry, Ianto."

He chuckled and shook his head again, took a deep drink from his bottle and stood up. "Don't worry about it; I try not to. Shall we carry on? This is the stateroom, by the way."

"It's amazing," Rupert beamed. "Absolutely amazing, she's... she's incredible."

"That she is," Jack agreed, approaching them. "Mind if I join the tour?"

Ianto looked away. "Well, sure, but don't know know it all?"

"Parts I've never explored," he clapped his hands together. "Although I bet I know a few turns you don't."

"You'll have to point them out to me," Ianto grinned despite himself; every day they spent together, Ianto lost a little bit of his inclination to dislike Jack, and gained a little more regret that his very presence hurt the other man. "Let's go exploring!"

"After you, Professor Jones."

He frowned and then groaned. "Oh you did not. You did. Right, that's it, never speaking to you again."

"You know you will."

"This is me not speaking to you," he insisted.

"Yeah, sounds like it," Jack teased, getting a bit of light back in his eyes.

"Nope, I'm not, really..." he glared and laughed. "Let's follow that trail!"

"What trail?" Jack struck a pose.

Ianto pulled the door open and winked at Pablo and Rupert. "The trail we blaze!"

Ianto wrapped his hands around a mug of hot chocolate and laughed at Rupert's explanation of how he and Pablo met for the very first time, with Pablo literally falling over him in a library, where Rupert had settled down with a book and fallen asleep. "And he just landed in your lap?"

"Set a precedent," Rupert agreed with a soft smile to his partner. "That was five years ago."

"What I still can't believe," Pablo started, blushing furiously. "Is that you were in a library!"

"What?" he pressed a hand to his chest in fake shock and offense. "I will have you know that I am extremely well read."

"You've not read a book since I moved in with you!" he laughed. "I swaer, you knew I'd be there and you set a trap for me."

"What, and bring all this trauma down on myself voluntarily? I don't think so," he teased. "Anyway... Jack, you never said, what happened to the other guy? The one who stole Ianto from us so rudely."

"Oh, someone with tentacles caught his eye, I think," Jack shifted uncomfortably. "And he found out that I dated his brother and sister, we parted acrimoniously."

"You dated his brother and his sister?" Ianto checked and Jack nodded. "What, at the same time?"

"Yeah, very flexible to relationships are vampires," he explained with a shrug. "It was a long time ago, anyway."

"He was a vampire?" Rupert asked in an extremely high pitched voice. "Sorry, I mean, he was a vampire?"

Pablo laughed and grabbed his shoulder, pulling him close and planting a kiss on his temple. "What am I going to do with you? Don't answer that!" he held his hands up and laughed. "I think we should turn in, though. Thank you so much for having us, we'll be out from under your feet soon, I promise."

"Don't worry about it," Jack chuckled. "It's nice having you around, we'll definitely miss you when you're gone."

"We couldn't live this life though, moving kitchens and everything, it's too much. Coming Ru?"

"Yeah, coming, the rum is gone," he stood up and smiled at Jack and Ianto. "Really, thank you."

"Don't mention it," Ianto told him, leaning back in his chair. "See you in the morning."

"Night, both," he smiled and followed his partner down the corridor.

Silence descended on the kitchen, and Jack tapped his fingers on the table top, running from little finger to index finger repeatedly. Ianto scooped up a blob of cream on his finger and sucked it clean, content to watch Jack out of the corner of his eye and wait for him to speak. "You opened up to them easily," Jack commented eventually.

He shrugged and got another scoop of cream. "It comes easier now, opening up to people. You've been a good influence."

"Can I ask, about your family?"

He sighed and put the mug down, resting his chin in his hands and staring into it. "My Dad died when I was fifteen, he worked at Debenhams, and I wanted to be more, you know? And, I used to love Yes, Minister and Yes, Prime Minister, so as soon as I picked up my GCSE results I was out of there, went to London and stayed with a friend," he laughed dryly. "I ended up stacking shelves at Tesco in Canary Wharf for two years, but I made it to to admin team, and then got a job filing at Thames House," Jack's face had gone very pale, and Ianto hurried to move the conversation away, even though he didn't like where it was going next. "I never saw my sister again after I left home. She was pregnant when she and her boyfriend were in a car accident. Lost the baby immediately, but she was in a coma, they thought she'd wake up," he swallowed hard and squeezed Jack's hand when he reached across the table. "Thanks," he smiled weakly. "Anyway, I got a job working for the council so that I could go back to Cardiff and be there, but she never woke up. Developed complications after a few months and... And the Doctor showed up a couple of months later."

"I'm so sorry, Ianto."

He nodded and wiped his eyes with one hand, not letting go of Jack's with the other. "Your Ianto, did he have family?"

Jack bit his lip and nodded. "Rhiannon and Johnny got married. They had two kids, David and Mica."

"Oh God," he chuckled. "David Davies? Silly cow, our Dad was called David, that's why she said she wouldn't marry Johnny, because she wanted to call a son David, and Davis Davies would sound silly. Do they... Does she know, about Ianto?"

Jack nodded, tears running down his cheeks. "I couldn't tell them, I... It was... They found out that he worked with me at Torchwood, and I should have wiped their memories, but I couldn't. I wanted someone to know what he did, the lives he saved. I didn't want them to think that it was a car accident, or suicide. I hid so many people's deaths like that, but when it came to it, I couldn't do it to him."

"Could you do it again, to someone else?"

"No, not now..." he shook his head. "But, you know, Ianto's family... she never wanted to believe me, and she'd believe anything I told her if I gave him back to her. If you wanted, you could go back to Cardiff, you could see her, be part of her life again."

He wanted to say 'no', he should say 'no'. He should turn Jack down, point out that the past is the past and that there was far too much water under the bridge for him to go back. But when faced with that chance, the chance to get back someone he loved who he'd let down, who had probably never known how much he really cared... finally, he looked up at Jack and saw it written in his eyes, that that was what Jack was offering to do for Ianto. He would give up this chance to be with Ianto again, even if it wasn't really the Ianto he wanted, so that Ianto could see Rhiannon again, even if she wasn't the Rhiannon he wanted. "I... thank you, I'll think about it," he managed. "I just... wow. I... I'd like to see her, but I don't know if I could leave again, if I did," he shook his head.

Jack squeezed his hand again and released it, picked up his mug and took it to the sink so that he didn't have to look him in the eye. "I know, but you have that chance. You can't let it get away."

"And what about you?" he asked.

Jack shrugged and leaned hard on the counter. "I'll live, I always do."

"You don't have to," he whispered.

He looked at Ianto over his shoulder and managed a true smile. "I want to see you happy though, you're beautiful when you're happy."

"Even if you can't see me?"

"I'd know though, wouldn't I?" he shook his head and turned back to the washing up. "Honestly, Ianto, whatever you wanted, I'd give you."

"You're a good man, Jack Harkness," he turned his mug around and dropped his voice to a whisper. "And your Ianto was a very lucky one."


	15. Chapter 14

**Author's Note:** Wordcount is 32064. Still ahead :D This chapter, by the way, is not on the original plan. Not at all.

Dedicated to LiquidLash, who also hit 30k and who I lvoe truly, madly and deeply. Especially madly.

* * *

"Here we are," the Doctor flicked a switch and looked around at the group. Jack and Ianto were braced and glaring at him, Pablo was clinging to the console next to Jack, face extremely pale, and Rupert was flat on his back on the other side of Ianto, laughing his head off. "Everyone alright?"

Ianto rolled his eyes and offered Rupert his hand to pull him up. "Yes, Doctor, we're fine."

"Good, well..."

"Hold on, Doctor," Jack raised a hand. "Just let me check that we're in the right place." The Doctor looked mildly offended, but let Jack go with just a shrug. He'd only been gone a few seconds when he opened the door fully. "You live here?" he asked in shock.

They piled out of the TARDIS and Rupert grinned, tipping his face up to the sun. "Yep, home sweet home."

"Wow," Jack breathed, taking in the view hungrily. "It's amazing."

"Yeah, it is," Pablo agreed, coming to stand next to him by the cliff edge. "We're lucky."

"You are, very lucky," the others all came to join them and Jack felt himself relaxing in the calm atmosphere. The soft green grass they stood on rolled gently to the sudden fall of the cliff edge, where clean white stone dropped nearly vertically to the smooth curve of the pristine white beach, dotted with people. The sea was a pale shimmering blue, and the coast curved around to create a sheltered bay, nearly landlocked. Around the beach, low holiday homes and high, glittering tower blocks clustered.

"Welcome to Montira," Rupert beamed at him.

"It's beautiful," Ianto sounded shocked. "Yeah, wow."

They both laughed at his amazement and Rupert shrugged. "It's just a small city, really. We want to move to Flortu in the mountains – that's the capital city – but we'd need to know we both had work there before we risked it. Pablo's company has its headquarters there though, and he might get promoted there soon."

Pablo shook his head. "I doubt it, but it's possible, I suppose. If I do, I'll have to go and get settled there and wait for him to be able to join me."

"You'd do that? Go ahead and hope that he could join you, I mean?" Jack asked.

"Yeah, chances don't come along often."

"And if he couldn't join you?"

They looked at each other uncomfortably. "We'd sort something, I guess. It's all hypothetical anyway," Pablo pursed his lips.

"You'll make it work," the Doctor told them, breaking the tension. "I've never been to Flortu, but I hear it's nice."

"Oh, it is," Rupert agreed quickly. "And the pace of life is much faster than here; it's quite slow and sleepy here, Flortu is this wonderful, mad, bustling hub. It's near the spaceport, you see."

"I knew I'd heard of it!" Jack exclaimed. "I changed ships there once, a long time ago. Didn't see the city itself though, I was sort of pushed for time."

"The changeovers are very short, yeah," Pablo agreed.

"Well... yeah, you could say that," he grinned, remembering a high pressure chase from a ship he'd stowed away on to a single-seater short distance planet hopper that had only been partly prepared for flight and he'd had to ditch sooner than intended and hide out in one of the small towns around the freight port for a month until he'd sunk below the radar and saved enough to do a jump back in time and join the crew of a freighter to get out of there. It had been a far from simple life, but it had been good fun. "Saw quite a lot of Wigna though."

"I grew up there," Rupert told him with distaste. "It's a dump."

"Yeah, I noticed," he laughed. "Never doing that again."

"Anyway, we should probably get on and leave you be," the Doctor suggested. "Can we drop you closer to your door?"

Rupert said, "Yes."

Pablo said, "No, thank you," in a very definite way.

They glanced at each other and had one of those silent conversations, then Rupert rolled his eyes and reached out his hand. "Alright, thank you very much for having us and bringing us home, but we'll walk from here."

"Right ho," he held out his hand for them to shake. "It's been a pleasure meeting you."

Ianto squeezed their hands and smiled. "Keep in touch, yeah?"

"We will," Pablo grinned. "Jack..."

He chuckled and hugged them both. "Take care of each other, and what he said, keep in touch."

"Definitely," they agreed. "Look after each other, and if you're ever in the area, come and visit us. Just, give us some warning, okay?"

"We will. We'll see you around," they backed away, waving cheerily, then turned and walked hand in hand away from the group around the TARDIS.

Jack turned back to the Doctor and Ianto with his hands in his pockets, smiling sadly. "So, onwards?"

"Onwards," the Doctor agreed, stepping back into the TARDIS. "Any preferences?"

"I'd like to have another look around the TARDIS," Ianto suggested as innocently as he could manage. "I found a new corridor this morning, and there's a reference to a climbing room in the notes."

The Doctor sighed. "You do know that the whole thing has been mapped."

"Ah, but it's not," he insisted. "The standard TARDIS layout has been mapped, but the standard layout doesn't change on a daily basis, and it still has the swimming pool on it."

"You know, I think we may have a pool somewhere still," the Doctor mused. "But I wouldn't know where it is."

"There you go then, I shall seek out the climbing room and the swimming pool, and I shall report back if I find it. Jack?"

Jack looked up and tried not to look guilty. "I want to finish my book, it's just got interesting."

"Okay," the Doctor studied him worriedly, but didn't say anything more. "I'll take out out to the Medusa Cascade then, let the old girl soak up the energy whilst you two do whatever you're doing. Be careful, Ianto."

He grinned, suddenly looking young and excitable like he always should. "She won't let me get lost, don't worry, Doctor."

"Yes, well, just..." he shook his head and set the TARDIS in motion again. "Oh you know. Have fun."

Jack watched him go and refused to look at the Doctor again whilst he helped him to stabilise the TARDIS. When she was steady again, he gave a brief nod and headed for the door. The Doctor, when he spoke, sounded tired. "Jack... you said you'd stop."

He sighed and leaned against the pillar he'd just reached. "I know, and I'm trying. I just..." he bit his lip and shook his head. "I'm getting there."

"Then why now, just... stay here, don't go to it."

""Don't make me lock you out, Doctor," he shook his head fiercely. "I want you to be able to come in and get me if I need you to."

"Jack..." he ran his hand through his hair and shook his head. "Then let me sit with you, you shouldn't be alone."

Jack laughed bitterly. "You don't want to see it, Doctor, you don't want to see me like that. Besides, what's the worst it can do? Kill me, big deal. Drive me mad, I'm more than halfway there already. There's nothing it can do to me that I've not done to myself."

"Be careful, Jack, be so careful," he made his decision and crossed to Jack, pulling him into a tight hug. "Come back to us, I want to see you smile again. I know it's hard, but I'm here for you."

Jack sighed and relaxed into his embrace, hugging him back. "I'm trying, you know I'm trying."

"Yeah, I know. Just... be careful, okay?"

He squeezed the Doctor's waist and let go. "Don't go anywhere without me, okay?" With a final tense smile, he turned and headed back to his room, leaving the Doctor behind him. Back in his room, he leaned on the door, hand hovering over the key. "You'd let him in anyway, wouldn't you?" he muttered at last and patted the door fondly, pulling back from it and sitting on the bed so that he could reach underneath it and pull out the fresh bottle. Bolurae... It wasn't the first time he'd resorted to the drug, in fact he'd long ago given up promising that it would be the last - he had known that that was a promise he couldn't keep long before he met Ianto. He poured a small amount into the bottom of the glass and raised it in a toast. "To ghosts, and to memories," he smiled sadly and took a sip of the golden liquid, leaning back against his pillow and stretching his legs out in front of himself. From the first sip, he felt some of his worries and grief becoming less relevant and less hurtful, drifting away as other things became more important. The pattern on the ceiling caught his interest, and he traced it around and around and around, smiling happily at the repetition he found in it. At some point, he wasn't really sure when, he started talking, explaining what the pattern meant, what other patterns there were in it. He closed his eyes tightly and saw the pattern continue on his eyelids and he followed it, falling into the colours as they developed and span around him. Span, or spun...

Five minutes later, he decided that flippant was a good word, an excellent word, one that he didn't use nearly often enough. "You see, Ianto, he's flippant. He's flippant, and he hides in it. He thinks I don't see, but I do, he's blaming himself and I can see it. Ianto, now Ianto, not you Ianto, other Ianto, he's fine. I think he's settled, he's not as angry as he was. He doesn't hate me, and I like it. Maybe that's why he's settled, because he doesn't hate me any more? Or maybe it's the other way around – he doesn't hate me, because he's found that he can settle here. What about you, Ianto? Did you stop hating me because you found your place at Torchwood, or did you find your place at Torchwood because you stopped hating me?" he looked up and met Ianto's eyes across the room. The young man was sitting on the desk, cross-legged – his tie was beside him on the desk, and his shirt was unbuttoned to the third button from the top, and he had his chin in his hands. Tears sprang into Jack's eyes and he blinked fiercely. "I don't tell you enough how much I love you, Ianto. You know, don't you? You know that I love you? I don't know what I would have done if I'd killed you, I would never have known what I was missing. I nearly did it... God, I nearly did it. I nearly... But I didn't, I didn't. I stopped and you're here."

He tipped his head back and bounced it on the wall a few times. "I miss you. I really, really miss you. Ianto isn't you, he isn't. He... he reminds me of you, he makes it easier to remember you, to see you, in some ways. But then... I expect him to say things that he doesn't. He says things tat I would never expect him to say. He drinks too much, and I want to look after him, but he won't let me. Like you won't, you take care of me, but you won't let me take care of you. Let me in, Ianto? Please let me in?"

He shook his head and fell silent again, studying his now empty glass and being absorbed by the golden drops clinging to the side. If one of them slid, and joined up with another, it would be a bigger drop, and if they kept slipping and joining up, they would form a golden river of clarity, or peace of mind. "Jack?"

Ianto was talking to him. Ianto was talking to him? With effort, he raised his head and frowned at Ianto, then at the other Ianto standing in the doorway, both of them watching him. Which one had spoken? "Erm... yeah?" That was a good answer, it was good.

"I said that I've found the swimming pool. You'll never believe where it... are you alright?"

Of course he was alright, he had two Iantos, how could he not be alright. "Yeah." Good answer.

"Are you coming?"

Coming where? Coming? If you keep looking... oh, swimming pool. He unfurled himself, stopping before he touched the ceiling and went straight through, out into the vortex, nodding carefully so that his head didn't fly away. Ianto, this new Ianto, was watching him, looking straight at it and through him and seeing all of him, and he was worried. Jack shook his head, tried to tell him that nothing was wrong, but Ianto couldn't see his colours.

The colours turned in on him and he closed his eyes, trying to get away from them, but they only span more fiercely. "I think... I think you should take me in the morning," he said at last, sitting down heavily.

"Jack, you're scaring me..." Ianto stopped. "Oh Jack, tell me... It's that drug, isn't it, Bolurae? Jack, it scares me, I think you're hiding from me."

"Not from you," he told him earnestly. "Never from you," he looked to the other Ianto now, willing him to believe it. "Never from you, I promise. I'm hiding, hiding from everything, hiding from the world, from the real, but never from you."

Ianto sat down next to him on the bed, drawing his attention from the Ianto on the desk. "Jack, Jack, listen to me... Does the Doctor know?"

"He knows," he confirmed. "Let me, I said that he couldn't stop me."

"You should stop, he's not helping you," Ianto rested his hand tentatively on Jack's shoulder, sending waves of noise running up his arm and starting off fireworks in his mind. "That's why I'm here, that's why she kept me, so that I can help you? I should hate her for that, but I'm happy, Jack, I'm actually happy. You make me happy. And fuck I hope that you're so drugged up that you don't remember me saying that in the morning."

"I make you happy?" he asked.

"Yes, Jack, you make me happy. I wanted to protect you from him, but it's more than that... neither of us is high enough for me to carry on with that," he rubbed Jack's back. "I want to help you, Jack, like you helped me... Why am I even telling you this, if I hope you don't remember?"

Jack shrugged and lay down suddenly, curling up so that he could see both his Iantos, reaching his hand out to the one on the bed, the one he could touch. "Stay?"

"Jack..."

"Please, stay?" he sighed and squeezed Ianto's hand. "I know you'll be gone in the morning, but you're here now, that's what matters."

"Oh Jack," Ianto's voice echoed and drifted away. "I... I'll stay. I'll stay with you, it's alright."

"Thank you. The colours, they've changed. I don't want them," he shook his head. "I don't want them."

"Sleep, Jack," Ianto told him in a strained voice. "I'll keep you safe."

"Love you, Ianto, you know I love you, right?"

"I know, I know."

The Doctor looked in on them an hour later and found Ianto reading Jack's copy of the Hitchhiker's Guide, with Jack's head on his thigh and a worried, irritated expression on his face. He glared at the Doctor when he entered. "You could have warned me he was as high as a kite!"

"He didn't want you to know," he defended himself. "I didn't know you'd come and find him like this."

"He thinks I'm a hallucination," Ianto hissed. "But soon he's going to wake up and realise that I'm not, and it will be embarassing," when the Doctor chuckled, he waved the book at him angrily. "It's not funny!"

"It is a bit," he insisted. "Come on then, let's extricate you."

Between them, they managed to get Ianto away from Jack without waking him, and Ianto made a very fast escape onto the corridor. When the Doctor joined him, he was staring at his feet. "If he does it again, and you know, you tell me, okay? I'm going to look after him."

"You care about him."

"I do."

"How much," he asked. "Do you care about him enough to play that part?"

He shook his head and looked up at the Doctor at last. "I care about him enough to want to play that part, Doctor," he turned and stalked away. "And if you tell him, I will use one of your regenerations."

"He needs to know!" he called. "He needs to know you don't hate him for who you're not," Ianto didn't reply, and the Doctor slumped against the wall. "Men!" he exclaimed. "Why are they so difficult?"


	16. Chapter 15

**Author's Note:** Wordcount: 34762. To Ysaedda: Yes. To all of you: I love you all very much, and I just wrote 'Arial' instead of 'Author's Note', so I am going to bed. Night xxx

* * *

Every morning after, he swore that it would be the last time, that he'd never put himself through this again. This time, though, he really, really meant it. He was disorientated, scared and alone; loud noises were blinding, and everything smelled of apple. With a groan, he pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, wincing at the fireworks that exploded at the back of his head when he did so, and pushed up off the bed. First things first, he stumbled into the shower and turned the water up as high as he could stand. He wished that he could kill himself to get rid of the after-effects of the drug, but he knew from experience that the last thing he needed was a resurrection headache on top of everything else.

By the time he had found his way to the kitchen, he was feeling decidedly more human, and almost everything made sense. Still, it took him a moment to comprehend why Ianto was sitting at the table playing cards with the Doctor, and once the realisation hit he had a problem keeping his smile of greeting – the looks on their faces weren't helping. "What?" he asked defensively as he bent to get himself the box of Coco Pops. "I'm not naked again, am I?"

"No," the Doctor reassured him. "You're dressed."

"Good, so why the scrutiny?" he glanced at Ianto, praying that he didn't know what Jack had done last night, but by the look on his face Jack could tell that he knew. He felt bitterness rising and had to force it back, the Doctor was only looking out for him. "If it's about last night, save it, I can handle it."

He had nearly got out of the kitchen when Ianto called out, "I can't."

Jack stopped and looked at him. "You can't what?"

"I can't handle seeing that."

"Then don't watch," Jack snapped and turned away again, retreating down the corridor to his room. Ianto's boot stopped the door before it swung shut fully. "What?"

"Why do you do it? Does it actually make anything better?"

He folded his arms and glared. "It's my way of telling the universe, 'I reject your reality and substitute my own'."

"And can you remember it?" Ianto crossed the room in three long strides and got right up into his face. "Can you remember me finding you here last night? Can you remember me holding you whilst you fell asleep and promising that I'd look after you?" Jack fell back a step and Ianto followed him, grabbing two fistfuls of his T shirt. "Do you want to know something Jack? I don't want to die, any more. I don't hate the universe and everything in it, I don't have to escape from it in drink, and do you know why?" Jack shook his head. "Because I care, because I have a friend, someone I care about," he released on fist from Jack's T shirt and stabbed him in the chest with a finger. "And I'm not going to let him go the same way that I did, okay?"

Jack shook his head and turned away slightly, but he found himself held in place by Ianto's grip on his T shirt. With a growl, he turned back to face the other man and mirrored his pose, grabbing hold of Ianto's T shirt with both hands, then pulled him in and crashed their lips together. Ianto stiffened, then relaxed and kissed Jack back with a hand gentle on his jaw, then pushed him away and stepped out of reach. "Not... not now, Jack. Not until you mean it."

"What do you mean?" he asked as he struggled to get himself back under control and fought the urge to drag Ianto back into his arms and never let go. "Do you think I didn't mean that?"

"When you know what I mean..." Ianto shook his head and pushed the door open. "Then you'll know if you mean it or not."

Jack made to follow him, but instead leaned his head on the closed door. "I just want you back," he told the door. "Whether you're you or not."

* * *

"Here we go," the Doctor flicked a switch and grinned. "Barcelona, beautiful planet," he ran around the console and picked his coat up, swinging it over his shoulders as he came to stand by the door. "Outside these doors is... ah."

Jack, standing behind him, chuckled dryly. "You know, I'm starting to think that Barcelona doesn't actually exist."

"Of course it exists, Jack," the Doctor insisted. "It's just, well, not here."

"No, I can see that," he shrugged. "So shall we?"

"I don't see why not," Ianto agreed. "Doctor?"

"We might as well, whilst we're here, I suppose," but he was already stepping out of the TARDIS and looking around. "Well, it's different."

It definitely was, certainly compared to the places he'd taken them to recently. After beautiful seaside locations with sweeping golden sand and sparkling crystal oceans, idyllic rural areas with gentle green pastures and friendly alien herds, breathtaking mountain vistas with stunning waterfalls and pristine snow, and the bustling, thriving commercial and artistic city centres, this slum, with a heavy pall of industrial smog hanging over head, was oppressive and horrifying. The houses seemed to be built out of anything that happened to be lying around, sheets of metal and wood propped against each other and held together with string and wire. An open sewer ran down the street in front of them, and small, dirty children watched them from a doorway. Jack spotted a bundle of papers collected for recycling and bent to look at them.

"Where are we, Doctor?" Ianto asked. "What is this place?"

"Earth," Jack told him, straightening up. "The year 2013. The newspapers are in Latin American Spanish."

"We're in the favelas," Ianto realised. "God, after everything we've seen, and this is what we see of Earth... and to think, I wonder why I left."

"It's not all bad," the Doctor told them, although he wasn't entirely convincing. "It's the start, really. These people, they come to the city with barely anything, living under bridges or with family, if they have people they can stay with, until they find themselves a job and save up enough, then they send for the family to come from the countryside and join them, and they come out here," he put his hands in his pockets and set off walking, they exchanged a glance and followed him. "All this will, one day, one hopes, become city. It's people making something from nothing, using anything they can get their hands on to make a life," he grinned. "Isn't it brilliant?"

"Why don't the authorities do something about it?" Ianto asked. "All these people."

"There's too many," he explained. "Some cities, the population grows by a thousand people a day, they just have to leave people to fend for themselves and do what they can. Once a neighborhood is established and safe, a lot have been adopted into the city now, the roads are paved and the electricity and water companies move in, sewers are laid, but it's all down to private initiatives. Human beings," he grinned. "You always survive, you always survive, and this is why, because you can fight for yourselves."

Jack smiled gently at a little girl who was watching him shyly, but she vanished as soon as she'd been spotted. "What do they do for money? Do they work in the city?"

"Some do," he agreed. "A lot find their own work – they make things, provide services to other residents, a lot work on the cities' rubbish dumps, sorting through the rubbish every day to find thing they can recycle or reuse."

"That's awful."

"That's necessity," he corrected. "And it's what you're all trying to do now, isn't it? Reduce, reuse, recycle. The factories are still belching out their poison, but a lot of what the city throws away gets reused and put back into circulation."

"And people drag themselves up," Ianto murmured. "And what about the thing that everyone knows about the favelas, Doctor?"

"What does everyone know about the favelas?"

"The drug cartels," he answered, looking around them. "Aren't most Latin American shanty towns ruled by drugs?"

The Doctor didn't answer, and Ianto shot a glance at Jack. He sighed. "Ianto, I'm not going to turn to cannabis or heroine or whatever..."

"No, but I might," he smirked bitterly. "Seriously though, people are advised not to go into the favelas, because they're not safe."

"He has a point, Doctor," Jack agreed. "We're being followed."

"I know," he sighed and groaned. "Ohhh, yes, we should get back."

They picked their way back through the narrow streets towards the TARDIS, with their alertness and tenseness growing with every step. They had only two streets to go when they met a group of men standing on the corner, who spread out across the street at their slowing approach. Jack nudged the Doctor. "Whatever you do, don't go for the psychic paper."

"What, why?"

"Do you know the statistics on officials who vanish here?" he asked in an undertone.

"No..."

"No, me neither, but I don't want to be one," he looked across as Ianto approached the men. "Ianto!"

"Buenas dias," Ianto smiled.

"Buenas dias," the leader smirked, turning to the man at his side to sneer, "turistas."

"Si," Ianto agreed. "Somos turistas."

"Turistas ricas?" the leader asked, and a few of the men drew weapons, mostly knives, from their pockets.

Ianto raised his hands, palm forwards, and took two steps back. "No, no somos ricas. No tenemos dinero," he insisted.

He wasn't fast enough when one of the other men lunged for him, and he sucked in a sharp breath when he felt the knife pricking at his stomach and the fist bunching in his T shirt against his collarbone. Behind him, he heard Jack yell his name in shock, and he closed his eyes tightly. 'Please don't let him see me die,' he prayed, 'please, he doesn't need to see that.'

"Es verdad," he gasped. "No tenemos nada. Solo turistas."

The Doctor approached and the knife pricked into his stomach harder. "Doctor..."

"Ianto, stay calm," he encouraged him, probably with a calming hand outstretched. Ianto kicked himself mentally as he realised that his GCSE Spanish had been completely unnecessary. "He's right, we're just tourists, and we don't have any money."

"You?" the leader asked, presumably to Jack. "You do, I can tell. You wouldn't come here without any money between you."

Jack's voice when he replied was achingly distraught. "Only English money, you can have it though..."

"Give, or he dies," the leader instructed.

Whilst Jack moved behind him, out of his line of sight, Ianto saw the men discussing and swallowed. "Doctor."

"Shut it," the man holding him snapped.

He shook his head and spoke fast. "Doctor, I know you know. If it happens, tell him."

"Tell him what?" the leader demanded. "What are those?"

Ianto opened his mouth to answer, but Jack, to whom, he now realised, the question had been intended, beat him to it. "Photos, of my family."

"Let me see," he demanded, and Jack gave a wordless noise of anger. "That one is him."

"Well noticed," Jack snapped. "Now let him go."

"No," Ianto gasped as he felt the knife slide into him and closed his eyes tightly. "Fag, you are disgusting. I am happy to send him to hell," the leader sneered

There was silence for a beat, two, then the knife slid out of Ianto and he clutched at his stomach as the pain turned red hot. He had been released and he stepped – staggered – backwards, staring in horror at the group. "No... not, fuck. Jack?"

The group were backing away and muttering, the leader was tossing Jack's wallet between his hands and Jack was silent, utterly silent. Ianto turned and then he was in Jack's arms, not having to stand any more as Jack caught him and cradled him. "Not again, please, no..." he sobbed and pressed his hand against Ianto's stomach, doing his best to stop the bleeding. "You'll be alright, you have to be alright."

"Jack, ah," he gasped as Jack pressed harder and his vision swam. It was already fading. "Doctor..."

The gang had scattered – they would be back soon if the three of them didn't move, but they had assumed that Ianto's death would keep them where they were for long enough. Jack had one hand pressed had against Ianto's stomach and the other clutching his shoulder. It was happening all over again, his chance had almost gone, but he wouldn't let it go, not really. He'd been around too long to be able to convince himself that it was only a minor injury. "Ianto," he bent down and kissed his forehead. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I love you."

"No you don't," he pulled back and Ianto was smiling sadly. "I wish you did though," he gasped and Jack held him tighter, unable to deny it. He didn't love this Ianto, but God he wished he did, just so he wouldn't be hurting. "It's such a mess, isn't it? I'll be okay though, really, Jack. I promise, I'll be okay."

He'd run out of time, he was bleeding out in Jack's arms. Not a bad way to go, he decided, all things considered. At least he was warm. The Doctor's face appeared over Jack's shoulder, calm but wary – evidently he'd been looking out for the return of the gang – and Ianto met his eyes, hoping that he was as much of a mind reader as he seemed to be. He nodded once and Ianto smiled, closing his eyes and giving up the fight.

As Ianto went limp in Jack's arms, Jack too fell completely still, then bent his head to press a kiss to Ianto's lips. He made to set him down and move away, but the Doctor rested a hand on his shoulder to keep him still. "Stay with him, Jack. He needs you."

"Doctor..." he bit off a sob and shook his head, but clutched Ianto against his chest again. "Don't make me say it."

The Doctor crouched next to him and removed his hand from Jack's shoulder, lifting Jack's hand, the one that was still pressed tightly against Ianto's stomach, the one covered in Ianto's blood, and picked Ianto's hand up off the floor, placing it in Jack's. "Jack, you have to believe me, Ianto came through to this universe because that TARDIS was rejecting him, but this TARDIS wanted him, because she needed him to fix you. He's like you, Jack, he's a fixed point, and any minute now he's going to come back."

"Doctor..." he shook his head, not wanting to believe until he could see it, but he had to believe, he had to hope. "It can't be true."

"It is, Jack, would I lie to you?"

He shook his head and squeezed Ianto's hand. "But... But how?"

Ianto jerked and gasped, clutching onto Jack and turning his face into his chest as he choked, seeking out comfort from him. Jack closed his eyes tightly and hugged him back, rocking him and silently thanking anyone who would listen. The Doctor stood up to give them some space. "I'm sorry, but I'm going to leave you two to talk about that one on your own. Just, maybe not in the middle of the street, yeah?"

They met each other's eyes, Ianto still slightly phased from dying, Jack suddenly guilt-stricken again. He helped Ianto to sit up, then stood up and offered him to stand. Once Ianto was upright, he let go and looked down to the ground. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry."

Ianto took a moment to catch up, then sighed. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you. You've got enough to deal with."

He turned and walked away, following the Doctor, and Jack smiled sadly. "Yeah, but I've got all of time to get to know you, Ianto Jones," he whispered. "I hope we're both up to the challenge."

* * *

**Author's Note:** Translation: "Good day." _"Good day, tourists."_ "Yes, we're tourists." _"Rich tourists?"_ "No, no we're not rich. We don't have any money."


	17. Chapter 16

Jack held his hands under the shower spray first, turning them and watching as the water turned pink, then clean again. Once he was sure that every trace was gone from his hands, he stepped fully under the spray and grabbed the soap to scrub himself clean. His shorts and T shirt he'd dropped straight in the bin as soon as he could, there was too much blood on them, too much reminder of what he'd seen. He didn't need any encouragement to replay it constantly, to try to disbelieve what he'd seen with his own eyes, to combine the images of Ianto dying in his arms on a filthy street in a Latin American slum with those of Ianto dying in his arms on the polished, sterile floors of Thames House. His breath hitched and he flattened his palms against the tiled wall of the shower, and he cried, letting his tears mix with the shower water as it ran over his bowed head. He hadn't known that Ianto would live, and yet he'd still let him take that risk and step forwards to protect them.

He choked and tipped his head back. Ianto hadn't known that Jack would survive either. They had been hiding it from each other, both worried about how the other would react and needing to keep that card close to their chests, when all along they were actually the only people who could understand each other. He slammed one palm hard against the wall, then turned off the water and got out, rubbing himself dry and dressing quickly. In the middle of the kitchen, he frowned in thought, trying to decide what to cook. Something unromantic, quick and wholesome, that wouldn't aggravate a headache. Full English Breakfast seemed like the best option, so he pulled the frying pan off the wall and set about throwing things into it in the right order. The sausages took the longest, and even they only took quarter of an hour, so he was pressed to get everything in exactly on time, but he was good at this. Some people believed him incapable of looking after himself; he knew that Gwen assumed that Ianto always cooked unless they got takeaway, but Ianto had been an awful cook. Jack missed the pile of buttery toast that was Ianto's best attempt at breakfast, and that he'd find waiting for him on the table, ready for them to eat as they walked around the Bay to the Hub in the morning. It wasn't often that Ianto went home for the night, because Jack couldn't go with him, but he tried to go at least once a week. When he did, they had a routine – dinner out on Mermaid Quay, then Jack would walk Ianto back to his flat and stay a couple of hours before he returned to the Hub and relieved whoever had stayed to watch it whilst he was gone. In the morning, Jack would walk back to Ianto's flat and let himself in so that he could crawl into bed with him and get an hour's proper sleep before Ianto's alarm went off, then Ianto would make toast whilst Jack read the morning's UNIT briefing and they would walk back to start the day properly. After a couple of months, it had seemed so mundane, but that routine had died with Tosh and Owen when they had only Gwen who they could rely on to cover Jack in the Hub. She probably hadn't even noticed, and Ianto had just stopped going home.

He sliced the mushrooms and threw them into the pan, then added the bacon and cut the tomatoes. Whilst he waited to put the eggs in, he stacked two trays, one on top of the other, and put two plates on the top one. Nearly everything was ready by now, so he slid it all onto the plates, then fried the eggs and dumped them on top of the pile, grabbed a handful of cutlery and picked up the trays to take them through to Ianto's room.

Ianto answered the door at the first knock, and Jack had to swallow hard when he saw that he hadn't changed his clothes since he'd been stabbed. He gave him a tight smile and set the trays down on the desk, then lifted the top tray off and set it aside so that he could put a plate on each tray. Ianto had sat back down on the bed and had his head in his hands, tilted on one side so that he could watch Jack in bemusement, with the fingers of one hand tangled in his hair. "Jack," he started, voice thick with confusion and a slight hint of pain. "What are you doing?"

Jack smiled at him fondly and put a knife and fork on each tray, then waved a hand at Ianto. "Headache? Sit back against the headboard."

"Every time," he murmured, complying mainly because he couldn't concentrate enough to argue. "Hurts like a bitch."

"Yeah," Jack passed him the tray and picked up his own, sitting cross legged on the end of the bed, facing Ianto. "Your body's complaining about the energy it had to use to repair itself and the proteins and stuff, you're not interested, are you?"

He shook his head and smiled groggily. "Sorry, Jack, can't concentrate on anything much."

"Don't worry about it," he stabbed the yolk of his egg and tilted the tray so that it ran across his plate. "Anyway, I find that it's much the same as a hangover, not that I get those these days, and a full English worked for me, and for Ianto when he was hungover, so it should work for you too."

Ianto's chewing slowed and he sighed. "Thanks," he said at last, genuinely.

"Sorry," Jack collected mushrooms on his fork. "I'm..."

"Don't worry about it, honestly," Ianto shook his head and laughed. "You brought me breakfast in bed, and I really did mean thanks. You might not care about me, but because of him, you do care. That's... nice. It feels nice."

"I do care about you," Jack insisted. "I was terrified today."

"No," he sighed. "You care about him, but that's to be expected. I just... I'm glad that you didn't go running today, to be honest. Most people, if they find out about that," he waved his hand. "The 'not dying' thing, they don't stick around."

Jack chuckled and pointed quarter of a fried tomato at him casually. "Year five hundred, one hundred, Daleks."

Ianto looked up at his sharply, and his eyes widened comically slowly. "The Gamestation."

"Floor five hundred, protecting him?"

"Trying to buy him time," he looked wistful and sad suddenly. "He'd sent Rose home."

"She came back," Jack rested his elbow on his knee and his chin on his fist. "Opened the heart of the TARDIS to get her to understand her."

"Brought me, us I suppose, back to life, at the cost of her own."

Jack froze and lowered his fork slowly. "What?"

"He didn't tell you?" Ianto asked, then took a deep breath and looked away. "The power of the TARDIS was too much for her – he took it out, used up a regeneration, but it wasn't enough or soon enough. That's why, well... he didn't come back for me for a hundred years. He tried to, but he couldn't get close, because of what had happened."

Jack sighed sadly and smiled happily at the same time. "She lived. In this universe, she lived. She's now trapped in a different parallel universe, but I saw her a couple of years back. We had a problem with the Daleks, again, and the walls of the universes and stuff."

Ianto's face had lit with hope, but then fallen again. "So I can't see her again?"

"Well, the Doctor says that she's trapped, that she can't ever get back," he shrugged. "But he said that to me before, and it happened."

"You've only seen her once since..." he frowned as realisation dawned. "He never went back for you."

Jack shook his head. "No. He didn't," he stabbed at a rasher of bacon with his fork. "I tracked him down again, he didn't want me. I don't think he wants me now, to be honest, he just feels like he owes me something."

"Like what?"

He shrugged. "Ianto, I guess. I think he's scared of me, actually. He's scared of what I might be without Ianto, because I was so angry before I met him. I'd been waiting a hundred years for the Doctor, served in more wars than I care to remember, worked as an assassin for Torchwood, went full time for them and was just too late to stop my boss killing the entire team and then himself," he stopped and took a deep breath. "I was pretty broken, inside. It wasn't until I caught up with the Doctor and found that he couldn't fix me that I finally really let Ianto in. And he made me measure up. Now, without him, the Doctor think that I'll go back to the way I was, or worse. I guess I should use the past tense, he'll be expecting you to keep me in line."

"Why me?" Ianto asked, pushing his food around on his plate – he wasn't hungry any more. "Is he so oblivious to human emotions that he doesn't understand that I'm not him?"

Jack tapped his fork against the plate. "It's not... it doesn't matter how we feel about each other, I don't think. It's having someone to look after, and to look up to. He knows what I am, he knows what a monster I can be. But you, you were a blank slate – I guess I just broke that, but you were someone who I could try to impress, and someone I would try to impress."

Ianto shrugged. "You know, you're terrible for psychoanalysing yourself. I just thought you were a twat when we met."

Jack sighed and put down his knife and fork, appetite gone. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised," he looked a lot like Ianto had kicked him.

"I said that I thought you were a twat," Ianto told him sharply. "I didn't say I still thought it."

"Then I'll keep trying to impress you," Jack smiled gently. "And who knows? Maybe he'll be right."

"Yeah, maybe," Ianto agreed dryly. "So let me get this straight... you're immortal?"

"Yep."

"Definitely?"

Jack chuckled and tipped his head back. "They blew me up and I came back, bomb in my stomach and I still survived. Definitely immortal. Sorry," he frowned apologetically as Ianto pushed the tray away. "Wasn't fun."

"Doesn't sound it. Was that..." he looked uncomfortable. "Was that the worst?"

He jutted his chin to hide his discomfort. "No, but definitely up there."

"What could be worse?" Ianto stared at him in horror.

"You don't want to know," he faced just over Ianto's shoulder, but continued to meet his eyes. "Trust me."

"You need someone to talk to."

"I know," he grinned and ducked his head, chuckling. "But it shouldn't have to be you."

"It doesn't have to be," Ianto told him sincerely. "But if you want it to be..."

He smiled. "Thanks."

"No, thank you," Ianto told him. "I guess... we'll be relying on each other a lot. I never thought I'd have someone who could understand, who..."

"Who we could rely on?"

"Yeah," he smiled thoughtfully. "I guess," Jack was watching him and Ianto looked up at him again, meeting his smile. "It feels good."

"Yeah," he agreed. "It does."


	18. Chapter 17

**Author's Note:** And it was all going so well. Present in this chapter for anyone who's read Just A Mistake.

* * *

Ianto picked up two mugs in one hand and the coffee pot with the other and went to knock on Jack's door, resorting to using his knee rather than smash the mugs or throw hot coffee everywhere. "This is your morning wake-up call," he announced to the still closed door. "The year is 5123, the cherry tree has just appeared in B corridor and there is fresh coffee outside your door."

"What about the paper?" Jack called, then opened the door and grinned at him cheekily. "I ordered a copy of the Times."

"I do apologise, sir," Ianto waved the mugs at him and raised an eyebrow. "If you would take the mugs off me and shift your arse out of the doorway, I can go and rectify that for you."

"Not to worry, I can think of lots of ways you can make it up to me," he leered as he took the mugs from Ianto carefully. "You coming in?"

"Yeah, I thought I might," he smiled and waved the coffee pot again until Jack held out the mugs for him to pour it. "You don't take milk, I hope? Not that the kitchen's all that far away if you do."

"This is true," he agreed. "But no, I don't. Not first thing in the morning anyway."

"Pure caffeine."

"I'd just eat the beans if I could," he told him with a laugh, turning the mug around in his hands so that he could hold it properly as Ianto took his own. "Not the best idea I ever had, but I did it for a dare once."

Ianto pulled a face. "Not your best idea, Jack."

"No," he pointed at him with a grin. "But you know exactly how bad it is!"

His eyebrows shot up and he smiled wryly. "You got me. I couldn't drink coffee for weeks afterwards."

"It does ruin it a bit, doesn't it?" Jack agreed. "I had to be weaned back onto it, I just stopped functioning without the caffeine. I actually had to sleep for a couple of weeks."

"I bet that was awful for you," Ianto commiserated sarcastically.

Jack shook his head. "It was, Ianto wasn't talking to me because the beans I ate were the last of some special batch. I had to sneak into bed secretly so that he didn't know."

Ianto, whose face had fallen at the mention of Jack's Ianto, burst out laughing. "You were having an affair and keeping it a secret from the person you were sleeping with?"

"Well," he conceded. "Not very secret, considering that he woke up sharing a pillow with me every morning I tried."

"Not such a hardship," Ianto told him, face expressionless. "I can think of worse people to share a pillow with," he raised a hand when Jack opened his mouth. "Don't, Jack. We're not ready for that yet."

Jack looked chagrined and shrugged in embarrassment. "Okay. So, what year did you say it is?" he changed the subject.

"5123," his lips quirked. "I'm resisting the urge to sing."

"I'm resisting the urge to shoot myself," Jack groaned. "I can't go out there."

"Why?"

"There might be a price on my head," he admitted uncomfortably, then stated delicately, "I wasn't a nice person when I was younger – a lot younger – and I caused trouble for people I shouldn't have."

"You were involved in gangs?" Ianto guessed.

Jack still looked uncomfortable, but he brightened slightly at the reminder. "Several, at the same time, rival gangs."

"So you've got _several_," Ianto audibly dropped the italics in. "Rival gangs after you?"

"And the police," he muttered with a chagrined expression. "And, well, there's this organisation called the Time Agency that I used to work for – although I think they've disbanded by now..." he frowned. "I hope they've disbanded by now."

"And they're all after you?" Ianto asked incredulously, "Who did you piss off?"

Jack looked up at him from under lowered lashed apologetically. "Everyone?"

"You're impossible," Ianto stated with exasperation.

Jack laughed and shrugged with feigned casuality. "I've been called that before."

"I bet," Ianto rolled his eyes, drained his mug and unfurled his legs. "I'll go see what the Doctor says. There's something he wants to see, but it shouldn't be long before we go somewhere else."

"Don't worry about me," Jack told him. "I'll hang around and read a book. I think the snooker room's around this afternoon as well. Have a good time."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, positive. Just, do me a favour?" he asked.

"Yep?"

"Don't die?" he smiled gently and teasingly. "And buy me a present!"

Ianto laughed and tipped Jack a salute, then took his mug and the coffee pot to find the Doctor.

The Doctor pulled his coat on and wagged a warning finger at Jack. "... And no wandering off! I mean it, even without everyone wanting to kill you, it's dangerous enough if you go wandering off on your own."

"I know, I know," he held his hands up. "I can't promise that if a damsel in distress comes knocking on my door, I won't run to help, but unless something major comes up..."

"Jack," he warned.

"And I'll text you and tell you where I am, I promise that one," he nodded. "Have a good time, both of you."

"Are you sure you don't mind?" Ianto asked, yet again.

"Ianto," Jack sighed and laughed. "Go on, I'll be absolutely fine."

With a reluctant nod, he turned and followed the Doctor down the street, catching up easily with his leisurely pace and falling into step. "So where are we?"

"Arana,"the Doctor grinned at him. "Just a regional city, but the shopping's good."

"Apparently I have to get Jack a present," Ianto chuckled and dodged around a stray child. "So we have to go to a toy shop."

"You're wicked, Ianto Jones," he grinned. "Absolutely wicked. Good idea though," he conceded thoughtfully. "You're very fond of him, aren't you?"

"Who, Jack?"

"No, Jeremy Clarkson. Yes I mean Jack," the Doctor told him exasperatedly.

"Well..." Ianto shrugged and gazed at a display of computers. "Computers don't change much, do they?"

"Ianto..." the Doctor tilted his head on one side. "No, they don't, actually. Once they settled on the five standard designs, everything else was just a variation on those."

"Palmtop, netbook, laptop, desktop and..."

"Super computer," the Doctor reminded him. "The huge things that still take up whole buildings."

"Of course," Ianto nodded and moved on.

The Doctor rolled his eyes and followed. "So, Jack."

"What about him?"

"Well... he was devastated yesterday. I think he was most hurt by the fact that he'd never got to know you for you."

"You think he's really noticed?" Ianto asked bitterly. "Whatever I do, I feel like I'm being compared to him."

"Well of course you are," the Doctor stated as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Jack was in love, and he will see any move towards someone else as a betrayal to him, but he's looking at you now as a different person, so you have to measure up. And, I suppose, you have a head start."

"By having the same measurements," Ianto laughed dryly.

"Good point," the Doctor agreed. "You need each other, anyway. This way," he turned off the main street down a narrow alley and zig-zagged his way through the crowd into the open market square. "Here we are, international market, best part of the city."

"It's huge," he kept close to the Doctor. "How many countries are represented here?"

"Fifty, sixty?" he guessed. "A lot. Everything from food and clothes to decorations and furniture. Commerce, it's what makes the universe go round."

"Any recommendations?"

"Try anything you're offered," he advised. "It's a human market, and there are food safety standards, so you'll be safe. You don't want to miss out."

"And don't wander off?"

"That too," he agreed. "Stay close, there have been whisperings of people vanishing around here."

"Now he tells me."

"You'll be fine," he scoffed. "Just stick with me."

It took about thirty seconds for them to be accosted for the first time, and Ianto was offered a taster of some rich, sticky, fruity sweet. Once he had reconstituted after the assault on his tastebuds, he tried a few others and bought a large box full of them to take back for Jack. The Doctor was watching him with that paternal air that normally annoyed him immensely, but today he just couldn't care. He was having far too much fun, holding a bowl of jelly and ice cream in one hand and waving a cube of cheese on a cocktail stick around with the other hand whilst they meandered between the stalls.

For some strange reason, Ianto wasn't hungry when the Doctor decided to sit down to eat, but he still got something that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike steak and kidney pudding. He glared at the Doctor when he chuckled and licked his fingers clean. "I like food and I can't cook," he informed him with an amused fake scowl. "And the food is very good."

"Yeah," the Doctor dipped a chip in the sauce he'd got and bit the end off it. "Do you want to know the ingredients of some of the stuff you've been trying?"

"Nope," he ate the last of the not-steak and not-kidney not-pudding and wiped his hands on a napkin. "Just... I don't think I'll be moving for a while."

"Come on," the Doctor screwed up his chip wrapper and threw it neatly into the bin. "I need to buy some socks."

"Socks?"

"Yeah, this is one of the only places where I can get chronopathic socks," he explained. "And they come in a range of interesting colours."

"Interesting?" he checked, standing up slowly.

"Hmm, yeah," he was strolling ahead. "I have a black pair and a blue pair, but I need a green and yellow pair."

Ianto froze, shuddered, and decided that he had to follow him to persuade him that green and yellow was a very, very bad idea.

Ianto won the argument. The Doctor bought green and pink striped socks instead. Ianto wasn't impressed, but he'd found a very nice chronopathic fob watch with a gold and silver spiral design and a matching chain for himself, and a chronopathic wristwatch for Jack.

It occurred to him that he should start shopping for presents for his family, but how would he explain why they needed chronopathy? Or where he had needed it, for that matter. Slightly impossible – maybe he should buy them sweets. Or just remember that his sister had died, and that no matter how much he wanted it to be true, this Rhiannon wasn't his sister.

And poor Jack was faced, day in and day out, with Ianto's face. It didn't matter that Ianto was... it didn't matter that Ianto was extremely fond of him – it still had to be hard.

"Oh my goodness!" the Doctor exclaimed. "Ianto, look at this!"

"What is it? Oh wow..." he put his bag down on the table and picked up a small, fluffy black and white cat toy. "Are they clockwork?"

"Yes," the Doctor took the cat off him and wound its tail up, then set it down on the table. It looked up at him, then around to Ianto, rising up on its hind legs to nudge his hand. "Space age clockwork is at the height of its development, and these things are all the rage."

"It is... I shouldn't admit how adorable I find that."

"You're allowed to admit that he's cute."

"He?"

"He looks like a Romeo, don't you think?" the Doctor picked him up.

Ianto shook his head and took the kitten off him. "Tybalt all the way, can I buy Tybalt, please?" he asked the bemused but happy storekeeper.

The Doctor frowned. "You can't name a clockwork kitten after a Shakespeare character."

"Why not? You wanted to," he pointed out, accepting the box with the kitten in it and putting it in the bag with his other purchases. "Besides, I think that Tybalt is a good name for a kitten, better than Romeo."

"What's wrong with Romeo?"

"What's wrong with Tybalt?" he demanded in return. "We should get back to Jack though, Doctor. We've been gone hours."

"Jack will be fine," he insisted, but turned back anyway. "You heard him, he'll be playing snooker or something."

They wound their way back through to the main street and turned back for the TARDIS. A crowd gathering in one of the open squares caught their attention, and Ianto followed their gaze up to the outdoor TV screen, showing the breaking news. He grabbed the Doctor's arm and pointed. "Doctor, Jack's in trouble."

"Time Agency's most wanted detained. Public warned to remain vigilant," he read. "That's not good."

Ianto was already moving faster back to the TARDIS "Rule number one, don't wander off. And this is why!" he cursed. "Jack, you had better be alright."

Jack signed against the confession and put the pen down. The arresting officer picked it up and checked it. "That's not your legal name."

"It is for me," he told him tiredly – it had been a long and painful process – with his head in his hands. "If you know my birth name, tell me, because I don't."

"Well then, Mr Harkness..."

"You can let him go," he interrupted, looking up at the two way mirror. "You've got me, you've got what you want from him."

The mirror flipped to clear suddenly and Jack nodded at John though it. The other man was handcuffed and angry about it, but he looked at Jack apologetically. "I'm sorry, there was nothing I could do."

"I know," he smiled and stood up. The officer immediately went for his gun. "Cool it," he snapped, letting some of the Captain through. He walked to the glass and glanced at the captain in the room with John. "Just give us a minute."

"We're going nowhere," she insisted.

"I didn't ask you to," he reassured her and looked back to John. "The blue box, you know it?"

"Your box?"

"Yeah, well there's something precious inside it..."

"Something stolen?" the captain asked.

"No," he shook his head. "Not valuable either, just precious to me. I want to know that it's being looked after."

They all held still, but then the captain nodded and an officer undid John's cuffs. He placed his palm flat against the glass and Jack mirrored his action. "I'll look after it for you."

"Thank you," he dropped his hand and let the officer cuff him instead, not watching as John was led out of the room.


	19. Chapter 18

**Author's note:** Wordcount is 42703. Thanks all for your continued support, I love you to bits and send hot chocolate and hugs.

Huge thanks also to my writing place of choice - Monty's Cucina in York. It's a lovely little place, check it out if you get the chance, and tell me, so that I can join you there.

* * *

Ianto stormed into the TARDIS and dumped his bags out of the way. The Doctor followed more slowly and watched him pace angrily until he caught sight of the note on the console. "Doctor..." his lips moved as he read it and he passed it over. "He thought he'd just popped out to meet someone, said he was just around the corner and wouldn't be gone long..." he swore and the Doctor glared at him over the top of the note. "Do you think it was a set-up?"

"I don't know, Ianto," he sighed. "But we have to find him."

"Can we get him out?" he asked as he grabbed a suit jacket off the coat rack. "Once we find him, do we spring him or go in with the TARDIS?"

"I don't know," the Doctor snapped. "I... Ianto, you have to understand that if the gangs had got him, all we'd have to do would be pick him up off the street. If it's the police, well then we can get him out of a cell in between. But if it's the Time Agency who've got him... We need to find out," they got out onto the street and looked around. "But where do we go?"

Ianto groaned and turned around angrily, then back the way he'd been facing. "Back to that TV screen, it's somewhere to start."

"Eye Candy?" the owner of the shocked voice approached them, staring hard at Ianto. "Ianto?"

He looked around to the voice and assessed the man quickly. He was shorter than Ianto, with dark hair, and his face and lower arms where they showed below the sleeves of his battered leather jacket showed signs of recent injuries. Ianto squared off against him and raised an eyebrow. "Sorry?"

"Ianto? But Jack said..."

In an instant, Ianto's hands were gripping onto the stranger's jacket, and the Doctor was hovering. "You know Jack?"

"He's in trouble," he gripped Ianto's wrists and pushed him off in one smooth movement. "Does he know you're alive?"

Ianto let him go and turned away, kicking at the ground. "He didn't tell you that he'd found me again, then?" he asked bitterly.

The stranger pulled his jacket straight and shook his head. "Didn't have time. He'd just got to the bit where he drank and drugged himself into a stupor at your death when they got us."

"They got you, plural?" Ianto asked, turning back to him. "So how are you here?"

"They let me go," he sighed. "They only wanted him, and they used me to find him. Once they'd done that, they let me go. There'll be someone tracking me now," he told them calmly, "and as soon as I step off the main streets there'll be a bullet in my brain. But Jack told me that there was a blue box with something precious in it," he looked up at Ianto. "He sent me to look after you."

Ianto nodded and looked across to the Doctor. "Tell us where he is, and stay in the TARDIS. You'll be safe in there."

"I'm not leaving him," he insisted, stepping towards Ianto.

Ianto gripped his hand and squeezed it with both of his own, steering him towards the TARDIS. "And for that response, I'm not letting you come with us. You're a friend of Jack's, so I'm not going to let you wander around if you're in danger. We'll keep you informed," he opened the door and let him in. "Besides, you're more use to us alive. What's your name?"

"John," he smiled. "Don't need to ask yours. Look, Ianto," Ianto stopped. "There's something weird going on if you don't know me and hate me, but it's probably best if we save that bit until later. All I know is that Jack cares about you, a lot. And I care about him," he smiled sadly. "I lost that fight, Eye Candy. So you look after him for me."

He nodded. "I will."

* * *

The Doctor grinned and leaned over the counter, flicking his psychic paper open at the surprised desk sergeant. "Hello there, I'm here about Jack Harkness, I'm a researcher, researching him... I wondered if I could talk to his arresting officer, get some quotes... I'm doing a book, thing, you see?"

"I..." the sergeant floundered. "I'll see what I can do, but there's already been a press statement given."

"Oh, I know all that, but I'm not interested in him, know all about him," he winked. "I want to know about the officers, the ones who finally caught him."

The sergeant moved slightly faster to the phone. "Like I said, sir, I'll see what I can do for you."

"Thank you," the Doctor smiled at him gratefully and looked across the room to where Ianto was remonstrating with another sergeant.

"I'm his partner," Ianto insisted. "We've been together for years. I know I can't see him, I just want to talk to someone who can tell me what's going on."

"I'm sorry," she shook her head. "I'll see if I can get Captain Ward to come down and talk to you. She'll want to ask you a few questions as well," she apologised.

"Yes, well," he glowered. "There's a few questions I want to ask him as well," he looked up at the Doctor and shrugged nearly imperceptibly.

"Of course, sir," she reached for the phone. "If you'd like to take a seat, I'll call her for you."

"Thank you," he smiled at her tightly and settled on the hard plastic chairs against the wall, opposite the Doctor with his head in his hands.

A tall, slender woman with dark hair cropped close to her head, dressed in the uniform of the local police – dark trousers and black boots with a crisp white shirt and short black jacket – with a badge showing that she was a captain, descended the stairs and leaned on the desk, talking to the Doctor's sergeant. She looked across to him and nodded her understanding to whatever she'd been told, then approached him. Ianto watched them from his position across the room and rubbed at the back of his neck without raising his head. The Doctor gesticulated openly – the captain's movements were more contained and professional. The Doctor grinned and flirted – she was largely unswayed. He became professional and pulled a device out of his pocket – she turned away, then relented and beckoned a different officer over, and he and the Doctor disappeared into the back together. With a heavy sigh, the captain went to the other desk and talked to Ianto's sergeant and looked directly at him.

He stood up and met her halfway, waiting for her to speak first. "You're Harkness's husband?" she asked.

He started and shook his head. "Just partner, are you Captain Ward?"

"I am, I'm Harkness's arresting officer. I have to ask you a few questions, Mr..."

"Jones, Ianto Jones," he told her. "I understand."

"Good, well, could you come with me to an interview room?"

"Of course," he followed her back up the stairs and down a corridor to a spartan interview room. She indicated a chair around the far side of the table and dragged the other one around to the end so that it was less formal than usual.

"Mr Jones, how did you meet Harkness?" she asked first.

"It's... complicated," he hesitated and drummed his fingers on the table, then settled for telling the other Ianto's story. "I worked for him in Cardiff, twenty first century."

"So how did you come here?"

"Our organisation – Torchwood," he remembered. "Collapsed, so we're travelling."

"On the run?"

"Sort of, maybe, a bit. Mostly just seeing stuff."

"Of course, Torchwood in the twenty first century was quite a dark organisation to work for. I assume the downfall you refer to was after the 456 incident."

He nodded, trying to hide his confusion. "Yeah."

"I see," she tapped her pen on her notes. "That complicates things."

"How?"

She sighed and turned to face him fully. "Mr Jones..."

"Ianto," he insisted.

"Ianto, then. Harkness has one of the longest charge lists we have ever seen, and that includes breaches of Time Laws. He has been taken from our custody by the Time Agency..."

"You mean he's not here any more?"

"He's still in this building," she reassured him. "But he is not under my charge. The added complication is because he faces charges from the Time Agency, and he is likely to be sentenced to permenant imprisonment in a time lock."

"Oh God."

"If he was the captain of Torchwood at the time of the 456, then he is supposed to return there to reform it with you," she told him. "I'm sorry, my history is sketchy, and I'm not supposed to tell you any of this I suspect, but he has to get back. And with his charge list, it's not going to happen."

Ianto let out a shuddery breath and rubbed his face. "I'm sorry, I don't give a fuck about Torchwood."

"I understand," she smiled apologetically. "But you have to understand, there's nothing I can do about it."

"Can I see him, at least?" he asked. "And can you explain the whole situation to me, actually? I'm not from around here."

"I'll see if I can get you in to him, but you won't be alone, you realise?"

"The legal system's not changed that much," he chuckled dryly.

"Do you realise what he is though, Ianto?" she asked. "His charges include torture, blackmail, even murder. This is your chance to get away from him."

"You don't sound like you'd take your own advice," he commented, not looking at her.

She shrugged apologetically. "My wife's in prison on breaking and entering charges. I nearly lost my job for standing by her."

"You were implicated?"

"They tried," she agreed. "But Tessa kept me out of it."

"Why haven't I been implicated then?" he asked.

"Because the Time Agency got involved. We were looking at you when he admitted that he wasn't alone, but they know everything," she sneered. "And they already had his former partner, who gave them enough evidence to convict Harkness."

"On what terms?" Ianto asked angrily.

"On lessened terms for Harkness," she told him. "They didn't want him, but he gave them what they wanted on the promise that they would drop some of the lesser charges on your partner."

"Will it help?"

"Mr Jones, Ianto..." she sighed. "You have to understand, they have confessions from him on five counts of murder, seven of causing serious body harm, countless on extortion... And they know about his talent."

"His talent?" he asked, then realised. "Oh, you mean his immortal thing."

"Yes, that," she confirmed. "I can give you the details of his trial, and then I'll see if you can get in to see him for a bit."

"Thank you, Captain," he swallowed. "He doesn't deserve this, I know."

"No," she paused by the door. "But I've sat where you are, and I know that it's bad enough finding out that the person you love isn't who you think they are."

He nodded to himself and stared at his hands, more worried about Jack than ever before.

* * *

The Doctor sipped at a plastic cup of plastic tea and stretched his legs out. "So how long have you been tracking Harkness?" he asked.

"Fifteen years," the officer told him. "We were keeping a watch on him when he was with the agency, but then he went rogue fifteen years ago and we were sent after him. I know the agency sent people after him too, but it was us who got him in the end."

"How did you do it?"

"Well, his ex-partner was back in town. Dunno what he was doing back in this time, apparently there was something he needed. We got him by accident, but the Time Agency discovered that we had him and got him off us. They were going to send him after Harkness, but Harkness's signature turned up in this time and they used it," he drank his own tea and grinned. "We're assuming that they were here for a purpose, but it doesn't matter."

"Do you still have his partner, then?"

"No, the Time Agency let him go," he shrugged. "Trying to lure in any of their other former partners, but they'll be keeping a track on him."

"Oh, of course. Can I ask, how did you get them together to arrest him?"

He chortled. "That was my idea, Portas – calling himself Hart these days, but we know his real name, unlike Harkness – sent him a message, asking him to meet him for a drink. Said that he had something he needed him to see, and that he'd heard about something that happened, I wasn't really listening, but it worked. Then we did a sting on the bar and arrested them both."

"Well done," he praised. "Well, I'm sure we all feel safer now, with him off the streets. I wonder, are there any of your colleagues around who I could ask?"

A young officer approached them and bent down to whisper in the sergeant's ear, and he turned to the Doctor with a grin. "I'll go you one better, he's got a partner – romantic partner these days – and they're about to be allowed to see each other. Want to watch?"

His hearts fell, but he feigned enthusiasm. "That would be quite a catch."

They went down the corridor from the staff room to a small, cramped observation room with a huge glass wall looking into an interview room. Ianto was sitting alone at the table with a cup of coffee, looking thoroughly miserable and extremely pensive. The Doctor clenched his fists, then relaxed carefully, hiding his feelings. "That's him?"

"The partner," the sergeant told him. "Poor guy, Harkness went back in time and found him, then brought him back here for a trip or something. Sounds like it might be the real thing too, for him at least."

"Not Harkness?"

"He's a monster," he told him dismissively. "But... I've heard the way he talked about this one. Who knows, maybe he's actually changed him. He's not made an attempt at escape, not tried to deny anything. This one's cute and a miracle worker."

"Everyone needs something like that."

"Yeah, too little too late though," he leaned back on the table and they all looked around to the outer door as it opened. Captain Ward entered first, followed by an armed guard, then Jack.

Jack looked like a mess. His hands were cuffed in front of him, and he was subdued, bruises and cuts marring his face and hands. He glanced up at the Doctor once, then his gaze flicked to the window and contorted into a strange expression of grief, guilt and love. Ward stopped him and uncuffed him, ignoring the looks she was getting from everyone else in the room. "You get ten minutes," she told him gruffy. "We'll be watching, but I won't send anyone in there with you."

He squeezed her hand and smiled. "Thank you," he said, turning to the door.

She nodded and opened it to let him in, then closed it, locking it so that it would open the instant she touched it. A man in the corner of the room, the most casually dressed of all of them in battered jeans and a red shirt, open over a black T shirt, shouldered his way through to her and slammed his hand against the door. "You can't send him in there, he's dangerous."

Ward shook her head and pushed buttons so that the sound came through from the room. "Agent Croft, I will do as I like. He's still under my jurisdiction for three hours, and I have granted you enough with him, now back off," she snapped, turning back to join the Doctor watching through the glass – everyone else had been watching the spat.

Jack had waited by the door until Ianto had looked up, then advanced slightly. They watched each other cautiously for a couple of minutes, until Ianto pushed his chair back and stood up. He smiled tightly and looked down at the floor, then tipped his head back and crossed the room in long strides, burrowing into Jack's surprised embrace. He tucked his face into Jack's neck and squeezed him. "They think I'm your Ianto," he whispered, hugging him tighter for a moment. "I had to see you."

"Ianto," Jack whispered his name against his ear and rubbed at his back. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being here. I don't deserve you," he told him thickly. "I'm sorry for this, for everything."

"I'm not," Ianto pulled back and cupped Jack's face in his hands. "I don't regret any of it."

"How?" Jack asked, gripping Ianto's hands and holding them in place as if he thought that Ianto would leave if he let go. "You were better off without me."

"No I wasn't," he whispered. "Jack... Jack, you have to know that I care about you, you can't have failed to notice."

Jack rubbed his thumbs over the back of his hands. "You shouldn't. You should get away as fast as you can."

"I don't want to, though," he insisted. "Jack..." he leaned in and kissed him gently, then pulled back to look at Jack's look of surprise. "You arsehole, I love you. I can't help it."

Jack pulled his hands down and leaned in, holding Ianto's hands between his own as they kissed gently. He was shaking against Ianto, so Ianto extracted one of his hands and pulled Jack against him fully, pressing Jack's hands against his heart and trapping them between their chests. Jack broke the kiss and dropped his head onto Ianto's shoulder, pulling one of his hands free and wrapping his arm around Ianto's waist. "I'm sorry," he whispered tightly. "I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you."

Ianto sighed and rested his chin on Jack's shoulder, staring blankly at the wall. "It doesn't matter," he told him. "I know you don't feel the same about me, you have too much history..."

Jack pulled away from him and took his hands, pressing them to his lips as Ianto trailed off. "Never think that," he told him fiercely. "I'd have to be mad not to love you. I saw you," he squeezed his hands tightly for emphasis. "And I love you."

"And it took us this long to realise this, why?" Ianto asked, his voice strained.

Tears gathered in Jack's eyes too and he shook his head. "I don't know," he sobbed. "I don't want to let you go. I'm sorry, I was so blind and stupid."

Ianto closed his eyes and kissed him again, lingering. "I'll wait, I promise," he told him. "Whatever it takes, I'll get you back."

The door opened and Ward stepped into the room, holding it open. "I'm sorry, Mr Jones, your time's up."

He looked around at her and nodded. "Thank you," he said, then turned back to Jack, kissing him once more and pulling away. "Me out, then?" he guessed.

"Yes please," she stepped back to let him out and glared at Jack, but he didn't notice as he sank into Ianto's vacated chair and buried his face in his hands.

Ianto came to the window and watched him, biting his lip hard to contain his emotions. Captain Ward stood next to him and gave him a letter in an envelope. "These are the details of his court appearance," she told him. "Tomorrow morning, I assume you'll be there?"

"Yes," he took the envelope from her and squeezed her wrist. "Thank you, you didn't have to do this."

"No, but you needed me to," she looked back at Jack. "He hadn't told you before?"

"It's a weird situation," he told her sadly. "I didn't think it was possible."

"And yet you call yourself his partner?"

The room was empty apart from the time agent who'd objected earlier and who was listening intently. "We live together, we travel together, we sleep together," he shrugged. "And I love him. He didn't have to love me back for us to be in a relationship."

"You should have got out ages ago," she told him bluntly.

"I'd regret it now, though," he pointed out. "Thank you for your help. I assume I'll see you in the morning?"

"You will," she stepped back and opened the door for him. "You may be in luck yet, the journalist who was in is preparing a case for Jack on the grounds that he has to be released for the stability of time," she shrugged. "you never know, it's a defence that the Time Agency may go for. He'll still be imprisoned, but you won't notice that he's gone."

Ianto shuddered and looked back at Jack. "I would when he came back, though, wouldn't I?"

"Ianto," she sighed. "He's a monster. I think prison will do him good."

He shook his head but said nothing, following her out onto the corridor and from there, out to the main street and back to the TARDIS.


	20. Chapter 19

**Author's Note:** Wordcount: 46694. Please send me love, I have a 15 hour day tomorrow. *Goes to bed tired but happy*

* * *

Ianto slumped against the door as soon as he got inside and rubbed the back of his neck tiredly. John watched him but said nothing, giving him the chance to get inside and take his jacket off. He sat on the steps close to the sofas where John was sitting and rested his elbows on his knees to rub at his eyes. "You sold him to them," he challenged him quietly.

"Yes," he admitted.

"Why?"

"Because they didn't want me," he snapped, but didn't rise. "Because I was small fry, but if I failed to comply, they'd add aiding and abetting a known criminal onto both our charge sheets," he gave a heavy sigh and shook his head. "For him no biggie, he's never going to see the light of day without that one anyway. For me, it meant the difference between dying free and dying in a box, staring at the same walls until I went mad and stopped eating."

"That's how it works, is it?" Ianto asked in a flat tone. "They lock him away and leave him to die. Except he won't, will he?"

"It's a time lock," John explained tiredly. "Put you in it and time outside your bubble stops for you. Food replicates, waste dereplicates, or whatever the word for that is. And the lock disengages when it detects that life signs have stopped."

"With a delay so that it can't be tricked?" Ianto guessed. "How long is the delay?"

"Twenty four hours."

"And how long would it take Jack to come back to life?" he asked.

John turned to him and frowned. "You should know this one, better than I do. Why don't you know anything about me?"

He shrugged. "Should I?"

"You should hate me," John told him quietly. "The last time you saw me, you told me that if you ever saw me again, if Jack wasn't there to stop you, you'd kill me. And you meant it. But now... now you can't decide whether to trust me or not, but you don't hate me. So..." he stretched and stood up, coming to lean on the pillar above Ianto. "Why don't you remember me, Ianto Jones? Did he take your memories? Why would he do that, though?"

"I'm from a parallel universe," Ianto sighed. "I'm not the Ianto you met, I'm not the Ianto that Jack loves. I'm just a poor facsimile."

John came and sat down next to him. "You're a fresh start, more like. I'm guessing you don't know most of the shit that you can Jack put each other through, and yet you love him anyway."

"Hang on, you're saying that I love him despite _not_ knowing all the bad stuff?"

"Yeah," he shrugged. "Because it's the bad stuff that shows you how important you are to each other, because once you get through it, you've got through it."

"Huh," Ianto laughed. "I guess. So what did you do?"

John shrugged. "Saved my own skin and, in doing so, got two of Jack's team killed and caused him to be buried alive for two thousand years," Ianto's face flushed in sudden fury and John raised an eyebrow. "Oh, now you look like the Eye Candy I remember."

"You utter shit," Ianto growled.

"Yeah," he smiled sadly and stood up again, walking away. "I am, and the Time Agency knew it. Regretting keeping me safe?"

"No," he sighed, folding his arms around his knees and turning away. "You're more use to me here that on an slab."

John nodded and returned to his chair in silence, leaving Ianto to his thoughts. He watched Ianto bury his face in his arms and shudder, and heard his muffled, "Where the fuck is he?"

"Who?" he called across the room.

"The Doctor," Ianto raised his head and tipped it back so that he could look at John side-on. "Apparently he's preparing a case for Jack's defense."

"That's good, isn't it?"

He shrugged. "Only if it works. There's something weird going on, I can feel it."

"There is at that," John agreed. "They shouldn't have arrested me, because I'm still working for them at this point in time. And they know how important Jack is to the time lines, so they shouldn't go anywhere near him at all. Someone high up should be keeping an eye on both of our time lines and making sure that we're not arrested or our time lines changed, but they're ignoring that at best. They know that they're causing a temporal ambiguity, which could result in a complete rearrangement of history, and yet they're doing it. They're manipulating things, but why?"

Ianto stared at him blankly. "Say that again?"

"Someone high up at the Time Agency is trying to change time by arresting Jack," John sighed. "I mean, legally they should arrest him, but temporally they shouldn't."

"So you're saying that he should get away with his crimes... because he already has?"

"Yes."

"Well if you'd put it like that," Ianto huffed and folded his arms around his knees again. "I don't want to believe that he did it though."

"It was a long time ago," he pointed out. "And Jack had his reasons."

"For murder?"

"Like it or not, Eye Candy, that's what Jack used to do for a living. We were assassins for the Time Agency, and then he went to Cardiff and started working for Torchwood, killing alien threats. Sure, he tried not to if he could help it, but he killed for a living."

Ianto looked across at him properly. "You mean that the murder charges are just people they didn't tell him to kill?"

"Or that they changed their minds about after the event, yeah," he shrugged. "I think that that was one of the reasons he went rogue."

"Because they changed their minds? I don't blame him," Ianto huffed. "Sounds like most management systems, really."

"Yeah, one would think that it had advanced since the twenty first century, but managers never really learned."

"That's because people don't change," Ianto pointed out. "Every manager still needs to learn it again."

The door was flung open and Ianto stood up quickly, the hope fading from his face when he saw that the Doctor was alone. "Did you get to see him?" he asked.

"I did," he confirmed, pulling his coat off and throwing it over the railings. "Come on, kitchen, both of you."

They followed him through and Ianto busied himself making a pot of coffee for them all. "What did you find out?"

The Doctor was watching his quick, nervous movements around the kitchen, and had to shake himself back to the subject. "Someone at the Time Agency is doing this on purpose. So we're in with a chance if the courts aren't under their control, but if they are, then Jack's sentence is already decided," he explained whilst Ianto brought the coffees to the table.

"So what can we do?" John asked, accepting a mug and leaning forwards.

"Well..." he leaned back and looked between them. "Our first stop is the court case. Argue for Jack's release based on the temporal stabilty requirements. Jack is an extremely important figure in history because of his fixedness, and the history of the twenty first century is in flux at the moment. It could go either way, and we need to argue that without him returning there, it will come down the wrong way."

"And if the court is already swung?"

"Then we use the TARDIS to break him out and go back into the Time Agency to find out who is after him, and untangle the mess," he said darkly. "Don't worry, we'll get him out."

"I trust you," Ianto told him. "How long have we got?"

"Ten tomorrow morning, twenty two hours," he nodded at Ianto. "We need to plan for worst and best case scenarios, get some sleep and eat."

"Worst case scenario?" Ianto asked.

"Jack goes to prison and we have to get him out," he thought out loud. "He'll be allowed to take one bag in with him, so we need to pack that for him."

"I'll do it," Ianto told him hurriedly. "There's a bag in my room that I can use."

"And best case scenario?" John asked.

"Jack gets cleared and has to return to Cardiff. He won't be able to leave, but he'll have a purpose and Ianto, so I don't think he'll want to," he looked up at Ianto and found him staring down at his hands. "Okay, John, I need your help in preparing our case. Ianto, you need to dress up tomorrow and act the part of the devoted partner and convince them that Jack has changed and that you need to return to Cardiff with him."

Ianto nodded and turned his mug around. "I'll need to know why Jack left Cardiff, then," he pointed out. "With an explanation that doesn't involve my death."

"Yes, well, I'll explain over breakfast. You should go and get a suit now, Ianto, before the wardrobe disappears."

"Oh, right, second wardrobe?"

"Yeah, down the corridor..."

"Left through the window, door behind the curtains and then down the long corridor, door is up the secret staircase in the fireplace in the library."

"Exactly," the Doctor smiled. "Go on, we'll get on with this case."

He nodded and stood up, left his mug on the table and headed down through the convoluted corridors to the wardrobe. A rack of suits by the door presented his best option, so he sorted through them absentmindedly, mind more focused on the following morning. Eventually, he chose a black pinstripe suit with a waistcoat, coupled with a red shirt (crimson-ish, if he was being honest. Definitely not pink... really) and a black tie. He'd wanted to go with white, because it was more formal, but it made him look even worse than he already did. He was pale and his eyes had dark shadows under them – he needed a shave as well. With a sigh, he picked up the suit he'd chosen and headed for the door, stopping short with a curse. "Oh shit."

The door was gone.

He swore again and hung his suit up carefully, controlling his movements as much as he could to keep his emotions under control. Twelve hours until he could get out. "Shit, shit, fuck," he announced as he slid down the wall where the door had been and dropped his head back against the wall. It hurt, but he barely noticed. "Why did we come here?" he whispered, wrapping his arms around his knees again and resting his cheek on one knee. "I wish I'd never met him, I wish I'd never met the Doctor. I wish I'd just stayed in Cardiff, not knowing about aliens, just living a normal life... Even I don't believe that," he sighed heavily and turned his head so that his forehead was resting against his knees. "How thick can I get, getting locked in here?" He sighed and stood up, moving the suit onto the coat stand next to the door so that he could find it. "There has to be another way out..."

He looked through all the wardrobes for false backs, peered through every rack of clothes from every direction, checked inside chests of clothes and boxes of shoes and eventually conceded, after two hours, that if there was another exit, he wasn't going to find it. Closing the chest of mothballs and rolled up ties, he sank down onto it and rubbed at his face again, brushing away his tears angrily. He had to be stronger than that – he had nineteen hours until Jack appeared in court, and he couldn't remember how long it would take for the door to reappear. It was either twelve hours or twenty four...

"You'd better let me out in time," he growled at the ceiling. "I'm going to be there, I have to be there."

The TARDIS didn't respond, but he got the feeling that she'd got the message. He slid off the chest and leaned back against it, resting his head back on the top of it and letting his tears flow. No one was going to see him, no one could rely on him, no one expected him to be strong and be there. He'd never felt more alone; he needed to be with Jack, needed to be doing something to help in some way, not just sitting around locked in a wardrobe because he hadn't got out in time.

Assuming that it was twelve hours, he had ten hours left in here. He checked his watch and confirmed that, then settled back down against the chest. "Fuck," he swore again and looked around for a blanket of some sorts, in the vain hope that he could get some sleep.

Two hours later found him pacing again - the thick fur coat he'd curled up on top of (because the floor had proved very uncomfortable) was draped over the chest. Another hour and he was sitting on the chest again, head in his hands and trying not to cry. After an hour spent thinking, he did three hours of trying again to find a way out of there. With three hours left before, he hoped, the TARDIS let him out, he made a pile of coats and pulled a thick cloak over himself, curling up as small as he could and hoping that sleep would make the time pass faster.

John paced up and down the corridor, checking at every turn to see if the door was there yet. As soon as it was he wrenched it open and burst into the room, slowing to a stop when he saw Ianto curled against the chest. He continued as quietly as he could and crouched down next to him, shaking his shoulder firmly enough to rouse him. "C'mon, Eye Candy," he muttered. "Door's open."

Ianto grunted and curled in on himself further. "Use my name."

John stood up and turned away. "Jack needs you, Ianto," he snapped. When he looked back around, Ianto was looking guilt stricken, and he sighed. "It's not your fault," he told him quietly. "There wasn't time for you to come in here anyway, the Doctor says."

"There was," Ianto disagreed quietly. "I should have been quicker to get out, I knew I didn't have long."

"And you had a lot on your mind," John told him, turning back to help him hanging the coats back up. "Did you sleep much?"

"A couple of hours," he shrugged. "I don't normally."

"I guess it must be hard sleeping without Jack, too?"

Ianto shook his head. "I've never slept with him."

"What?" he looked up, astonished. "But you two..."

"Us two what?" Ianto asked sourly. "I'm the physical copy of the man he loved, and he's a hard man to resist. He's held me at arms' length since I met him, really – well, not tried for anything more than friendship – and I still fell in love with him. He didn't think I was interested though."

"Regretting it?"

"Who wouldn't?" he asked bitterly. "I have all the time in the world, and yet it always slips away."

"You'll get him back," John told him confidently. "We'll get him back. Now come on, we've a lot to do still before the hearing."

"Yeah," Ianto went first to his room, to get the bag of things he'd bought that day and to collect the bag he was going to use to take stuff for Jack, then took both round to Jack's room. The Doctor was in there making a pile of things on the bed, and Ianto stopped short in the doorway. "Heya."

"Ianto, good, you got out of there," he greeted him. "Is there anything else you think Jack would want or need?"

Ianto looked through the pile and set his bags down on the bed next to them. "Yeah, his coat."

"He'll be indoors though," the Doctor pointed out. "He's not going to need it."

"Yes he is," John and Ianto told him in unison. Ianto smiled briefly as he scrambled across the bed to get Jack's big, heavy coat out of the wardrobe, then folded it carefully and put it in the bottom of the bag. The Doctor and John watched as he packed it methodically with clothes, wash stuff, notebook and pens, a few books, the box of sweets that Ianto had bought for him in the market and, finally, the box containing the toy kitten. He glanced up at the Doctor, waiting for his nod of approval before he zipped it up.

"He probably won't need it, right?" he asked quietly.

Ianto sat in the waiting room in a state of shock, not really comprehending what had happened. People came and went and talked to him and John, but John fielded there questions and dealt with instructions, letting Ianto process what had happened, whilst the Doctor went back to the TARDIS to get Jack's bag. As far as Ianto could tell, Jack's sentence had been decided before he'd even stepped into the room, probably before they caught him, even.

The Doctor arrived quietly and set the bag down next to Ianto, then sat down in a chair across from him. Ianto nodded a greeting at him, then opened the bag and pulled out one of the notebooks and a pen, opening it on his knee to start writing. "Ianto," the Doctor warned him. "You can't send messages."

"Well..." he said determinedly. "I hope they don't find it then," he kept going and nearly filled a page, then closed the notebook and put it back in the bag with the pen.

"What did you say?" the Doctor asked.

"What do you think?" he asked, rolling his eyes. "The usual."

"Ah, I see."

"And that we'd get him out," he conceded. "Mostly the 'I love you and I believe in you' crap, though."

"That's not crap, Ianto," the Doctor chided him.

"No? It feels it," he zipped the bag back up and stood. "How long did they say?"

"Should be any time now," John told him. "You've been practically catonic for nearly an hour."

"I'm sorry," he wheeled around completely unapoliogetic. "Jack's about to go to prison because I left him behind in the TARDIS..."

"It's not your fault," John interrupted him sharply. "It's mine and we know it, but they would have got him in the end," he sighed. "It was just a matter of how and how soon."

Ianto glared at him, but shook his head and turned away. "Whatever."

The atmosphere became tense, and the door opening was like a breath of cold, fresh air. The Doctor sprang to his feet and greeted the sergeant without any of his usual cheeriness. "Can we see him?" he asked sharply.

"I'm sorry," he stuttered in the face of the Doctor's glare. "Only Mr. Jones can see him, Harkness is a next-of-kin-only prisoner, sir."

The Doctor tensed up, then relaxed carefully and turned to Ianto, picking the bag up and pressing it into his hand. "You're on your own, Ianto."

He nodded and tightened his grip on it. "I know, I understand."

Jack was already waiting in the tiny room down the corridor, accompanied by two armed guards. Ianto set the bag on the table as one of the guards indicated, then ignored them both completely, dragging his chair around next to Jack's and sitting down, taking Jack's hand in both of his and playing with his fingers. Jack closed his hand and caught Ianto's in it. "I'm going to miss you," he whispered softly.

Ianto closed his eyes and shook his head, then wrapped one arm around Jack's neck and pulled him in to hug him, pressing a kiss against his neck. "I'll miss you too," he told him. "I already do."

Jack reciprocated the hug and leaned into him. "You should get away, Ianto. John and the Doctor will look after you. Just, promise me you'll be okay?"

Ianto shook his head against Jack's neck and held him even tighter. "How could I be, knowing that you're in here and I'm out there?" he kissed Jack's neck once more, then pulled back and found his lips. "Did you mean it, Jack? Really?"

Jack nodded and kissed him again. "Yeah, I still do."

"I'll wait for you," he promised. "As long as it takes. I'll come back for you."

"You can't," Jack gripped his hands and stared at them, rather than meeting his eyes. "You know you can't."

"I can try, though," he insisted. "And I will."

"Thank you," Jack smiled and kissed him again, soft and wet with tears.

Ianto didn't speak again until then got back tot he TARDIS. Only then did he look up and meet the Doctor's eyes across the room. "Tell me there's something we can do, Doctor?"

His gaze darkened and he flicked a lever. "John, have you got those details."

"Yep, got them here," John gave him a printed sheet. "Paperwork never went out of fashion."

"Good for us," the Doctor pulled a computer screen over and started programing figured into it. "Ianto, get to that side of the console and keep the readings level, show John how to watch the alarms."

"We're getting him out?" John asked in shock. "Just like that?"

"Just like that," the Doctor agreed grimly. "And then we are shutting down whatever branch of the Time Agency did this – someone is playing with time and I don't like it."

Ianto smiled tightly and felt the light of hope flare somewhere in his chest. "What do you want from us, Doctor?"

"Hold on," he instructed as the ship swayed violently. "This is precision work."

They lurched once more and an alarm on the console rang loudly. The Doctor grinned and ran to the door. "Ianto, we've been spotted. Go in and get him, fast."

"What?" but he was already running, wrenching the door open and stumbling out into Jack's arms.

Jack stared at him like he'd seen a ghost, then crushed him close and kissed him, tears running down his face like they had been the last time Ianto had seen him. With any luck, they were the same tears. "You came," he gasped between kisses. "You did it, you came!"

"Yeah, we did," Ianto told him, squeezing him tightly. "Come on, we have to go, we've already tripped the alarms."

Jack nodded, apparently reluctant to let him go, but broke away at last. "There's just a couple of things I want," he told him, running across the room and giving Ianto a moment to look aruond. It was much like their rooms on the TARDIS, but more spartan and with a food dispenser in the wall. Jack collected his coat from the bed, the notebook and books from the bedside table and the kitten from the middle of the bed. "I'm ready," he said at last.

Ianto stopped to wonder how long it had taken them, but Jack seemed sane, and pleased to see them – to see him – so he pushed the thought away. "Then let's get you out of here."

The Doctor was grinning maniacally when they got back into the console room, and the doors slammed shut behind them. "Good to have you back with us, Jack. Gentlemen, may I point out that we're on the run?"

Ianto clung onto Jack and a pillar as the ship launched itself into the void and turned his face into Jack's shoulder to hide his tears. "So fucking worth it," he muttered tightly.

Over his head, Jack met the Doctor's eyes and nodded sadly, holding Ianto against him as they both cried. It had been half an hour for Ianto – the time lock had made it six and a half years for Jack. Ianto could never know.


	21. Chapter 20

**Author's note:** Wordcount of 49336. I am very nearly there. Still four chapters to go after this one though!

The start of this chapter demonstrates the age old technique of 'dislike the end of the last chapter and rewrite it from a different perspective as a flashback'. I do apologise for the end of the last chapter, I was high on lack of sleep lol, so here it is again!

* * *

_Jack reached his hand out to the kitten again and smiled as it butted its head at his hand. It pawed at him happily and curled around his hand, grabbing onto his thumb with its front paws and gnawing at it. He laughed and sat up properly, taking the tiny form with him and cradling it against his shoulder, stroking down the back of its neck. Its movements were slowing, jerkier and clunkier than usual, and he tried to remember where he'd put the key. It must be another six months then._

_Winding up the clockwork kitten was his only way of measuring the time – the handbook had advised that it took six months to run down if wound fully, and he'd wound it thirteen times so far. Coming up to seventy eight months then – nearly six and a half years in a two room prison._

_It was a good day, today. Some days he was sunk so low that he couldn't even move from the bed, and spent the whole day ignoring Tybalt's repeated attempts to play with him. Other days, he was so high that he heard Tybalt talking to him and he could have conversations with Ianto and the Doctor, Gwen and Rhys, even Tosh and Owen, Susie, Alex, Estelle, Stephen and Alice... His emotions swung violently and he struggled to keep on top of them by reading and rereading the books Ianto had sent him, writing his memoirs in the notebooks – that would be an interesting book if he could get it published – playing with the kitten for hours on end and sleeping as much as he could._

_He wasn't really sure how long it had been since he had believed that he would get out of here. It was long enough for the pain of the fact to diminish and for him to accept it and move on to grieving truly for what he'd lost again. The idea of never seeing Ianto again, never feeling waves or wind, never seeing starlight and sunshine, never tasting anything other than processed and reprocessed proteins – he'd once said to Owen that living forever, you forgot to look, and forgot to touch, hadn't he? If he ever got out of here, he'd never forget again._

_Jack shook his head and put Tybalt down on the bed again, nudging him gently to encourage him to go and play. Thinking about freedom was a bad idea, which would only disappoint him in the long run. The Doctor never went back – not for Jack, anyway – and Ianto would surely see that Jack was better off in here. Besides, the time lock was impenetrable, even with the TARDIS. The Doctor couldn't land on a precise second like that. If he ever got out, it would be after the Time Agency dissolved – and that was years away outside, it would be millennia for him, if at all._

_A sudden breeze took him by surprise and he stood hurriedly, listening hard for any noise against the usual silence. To his utter astonishment, the ghost of a noise started, then faded and he yelled out in disappointment, turning away with clenched fists. When the noise came again he closed his eyes tightly and didn't dare look around until Tybalt mewled crossly. Then – then he looked, sobbing out his thanks as the TARDIS solidified in front of him. He made for the door without conscious thought and choked as it opened, reaching out to catch Ianto as he stumbled._

_Ianto was warm and shaking in his hands and Jack finally believed it – he hadn't changed at all from Jack's last memory of him. He realised that he was staring and pulled him against him, feeling his warm solidity in his arms, hot, soft lips against his own, clutching him and crushing him in his determination not to let him go. "You came," he gasped into the kiss and pulled back enough to study Ianto's face and drink him in. "You did it, you came."_

He choked and fought the returning awareness, wanting to cling onto the dream for as long as possible, but Tybalt was making a determined attack on his foot through the duvet. Jack kicked out angrily and heard Tybalt yelp crossly when his foot made contact, then bolted upright in horror, astonished to find the clockwork kitten sitting safely on the other side of the bed and glaring at him balefully. With a relieved laugh, he reached across the bed and caught him before he could escape, then cradled him against his chest and fell back against the pillows, starting up at the ceiling and tracing the familiar pattern gratefully. At a tentative knock on the door, he rolled onto his side and grinned. "Hello?"

"Hi," Ianto opened the door slightly and poked his head around it with a soft, nervous smile. "I heard your laugh," he pulled a teasing face. "It is a bit loud."

Jack laughed again and Ianto beamed. "I'm happy to be home," he told him.

Ianto's smile warmed further and he came into the room fully, closing the door behind him and leaning on it. There was something guarded and uncertain about the way he held himself, and especially about the way he watched Jack. Jack, for his part, wanted desperately to pick up where they'd left off – with the pair of them starting afresh with a declaration of love and the chance to give it a proper go, but his confidence was waning. Eventually, Ianto caught himself and shook his head slightly, blinking fast. "Sorry, I just can't believe... how long was it, Jack?"

He looked away from Ianto's intense gaze and shrugged, smiling cockily. "A while – not that long," he glanced sidelong at Ianto. "Long enough to miss you."

"It was an hour for me," Ianto told him and Jack nodded. He'd thought as much. "And that was long enough to miss you."

Instead of the elation and warmth he knew he should feel, Jack's heart clenched painfully and he looked down to the bed, keeping the smile in place carefully. How to explain that Jack had now been in love with Ianto for six years, whilst for Ianto it had only been an hour, and that with everything that Ianto would learn about Jack whilst they tried to save him from his past, any attraction would very soon fade? He looked up at Ianto, though, and it all seemed to fade away. Whilst he had this moment, he would make it last.

Ianto looked surprised when Jack held out his hand, but he took it and let Jack pull him to sit beside him on the bed. He looked nervous suddenly, and Jack found himself smiling back equally nervously. "You're so young," he realised.

He got an eyeroll and a dry laugh in response. "I'm one hundred and twenty three years old, Jack," he told him, playing with Jack's fingers. "Not exactly young."

"You look it though," he commented with a flirty grin, then sobered. "You were so young when you died..."

"Good job it didn't stick," he grinned wolfishly. "You weren't that much older."

"Going on for twenty years," he shrugged. "A lot more than that, now; I'm over two thousand," he answered Ianto's unspoken question.

Ianto tightened his grip on Jack's hand and swallowed. "That... that wasn't..."

"Oh, no!" he hurried to reassure him. "No, it was before. Just, just time."

"You must have seen a lot," Ianto commented. "Known so many people."

He smiled wistfully. "Yeah, a lot. Every day is different..." when he looked up this time, Ianto was watching him, still nervous. Jack smiled gently and raised his free hand to Ianto's chin, tipping it up and holding it in place as he leaned in...

"Oh, good, there you both are," Jack rolled his eyes and chuckled as the door opened and Ianto nearly sprang away from him. "We need to get moving," the Doctor told them. "Meeting, kitchen, now."

Ianto glanced at Jack for a moment, then stood and hurried out of the room past the Doctor. Jack glared at the Doctor and stood up more slowly, stretching carefully and shrugging. "You'll have to fill me in, Doctor, I'm a little behind."

"Have you told him?"

"Told him what?" he asked as he pulled his jumper on over his head.

"How long it took us," Jack stilled and looked away and the Doctor sighed heavily. "I'm sorry about that, Jack. We got there as soon as we could."

"Not your fault," he told him in a flat monotone. "I'm lucky you could get it at all."

"I was worried," the Doctor admitted, "but Ianto wouldn't have let me fail," he smiled and stepped back to let Jack out of the room. "He cares about you a lot."

Jack rolled his eyes. "He loves me, but he'll learn," he stopped suddenly in the kitchen doorway and John looked back down to the table, unable to meet his eyes. "Remind me," Jack started casually, sitting down next to Ianto and picking up a coffee mug. "Thanks, Ianto. So yeah, remind me what you're doing here?"

John rolled his shoulders in a shrug. "Saving my skin," he sneered.

"Helping us," Ianto told Jack quietly. "The Time Agency are after both of you, and he understood what was going on better than we did."

As the Doctor sat down and poured himself a mug of tea, Jack relaxed slightly and nodded briefly at John. "Okay, so fill me in. By the way, I take it you've met Ianto."

"I have," he gave Ianto a feral grin. "And he didn't thump me, I was very impressed."

Jack opened his mouth to explain but Ianto laid a hand over his arm. "He knows," Ianto told him, glaring at John. "He's just trying to make you say it."

John looked simultaneously put out and guilty, and Jack's mouth snapped shut. The Doctor looked between them all as Ianto removed his hand hurriedly from Jack's arm, wrapping both hands around his mug instead and staring into it. He leaned back in his chair and looked up to the ceiling. "So, John, what do you know?"

He dragged his gaze away from Jack and looked at the Doctor instead. "Someone wanted Jack specifically," he started. "I was arrested by people who I'm working with contemporaneously, they must know that I'm out on a mission now, and that Jack is out of bounds. We were bitching about it next year, actually."

"Why is he out of bounds?" Ianto asked.

"He's too important," the Doctor explained. "Research carried out by the Time Agency the year before Jack was arrested identified him as one of the crucial factors in galactic and intergalactic development up to this point. Well, I say that they identified him, they actually identified Torchwood as a crucial factor, in particular the leader... Someone must have put two and two together."

"Maybe time's being changed, though," John suggested. "With Ianto, I mean. My history's rusty, but I only remember one immortal figure at Torchwood."

"Hang on," Ianto asked. "What do you mean, you remember?"

John shrugged. "Jackie and I went to the Academy to train for the Time Agency. You learn the important bits of world history – the times to avoid, the people to avoid. Torchwood, well... Torchwood's hugely important. You must have known that when you got involved with them, Jack."

"I also knew I was immortal," he pointed out. "I knew it was me."

"I see."

"So you knew, all along, what was going to happen?" Ianto asked.

"No," Jack told him firmly. "I mean... The details are vague, really, no one knows everything about Torchwood, even now, it's still a very secretive organisation. But even so, I'm sure that... I should have know about the 456, but I never heard about it."

"What happened?" the Doctor asked. "In as much detail as you can, what happened with the 456?"

He sighed and shook his head desperately, but started the explanation. When he told them about getting Gwen and Ianto out of the Hub before he was blown up, Ianto found his hand automatically and squeezed it, letting Jack squeeze back as hard as he needed to. He was surprised when Ianto kept holding his hand through the explanation, even when he told them about how he'd killed Stephen, but he didn't look round, didn't break eye contact with the Doctor. Finally, he ran out of words, and released his grip on Ianto's hand slightly, further surprised when Ianto flexed his fingers and laced them together with Jack's.

The Doctor nodded and Jack felt himself released, turning to look at Ianto and swallowing hard. Ianto smiled at him softly and sadly, reassuring him that Ianto was still there for him – even though he didn't deserve it, Ianto was still here. "I see," they both looked around at the Doctor when he spoke and Ianto frowned.

"What do you see?" he asked.

The Doctor leaned forwards and rested his elbows on the table with his mug between them. "The 456's attack changed history in two very small ways, which had huge implications. The first was the destruction of Torchwood Cardiff – the organisation was supposed to survive even today, still in the same base. But..." he looked at Jack. "That wasn't the main change."

"What was?" he asked with a feeling that he already knew.

"The death of Ianto Jones," the Doctor told him darkly. "Ianto wasn't supposed to die then."

Jack swallowed and nodded. "Can I ask you how..."

The Doctor shook his head. "It would never have been enough, Jack, you know that. But you would have carried on without him. You have no intentions of returning to Torchwood, have you?"

He sighed and shook his head. "I hadn't, but I'm getting the feeling that I have to."

"What's Torchwood?" Ianto asked. "You worked for them?"

"I ran it," Jack told him. "It's a top secret government organisation, beyond the knowledge of most of the government even – we hunted down alien threats on Earth to protect the world. Sort of like the police, but more specialised."

"And it was destroyed by the government? Why?"

"Because I knew about the trade with the 456," he explained. "They wanted me out of the way."

"That's sick," he shook his head. "And a bloody stupid idea – what happened to Torchwood after the 456 were defeated?"

Jack shook his head again – this time in admiration – and shrugged. "Torchwood Two, based in Glasgow, is still going, but that was only a research facility, and it was only Archie. Apart from that, there are a couple of other offices around the world – Gibraltar, Bermuda, India, Australia, New Zealand and Hong Kong, that I can think of – and a research station at the North Pole. But it's all a very disparate organisation, and I would guess that UNIT took all the stations under its wing."

"And Gwen?"

"I hope," he hesitated. "I hope that she packed it all in, Torchwood is no place to work if you have children."

"We need to go back, then," Ianto looked at the Doctor. "We need to reform Torchwood and change it fast enough that they can't get at Jack before we do."

"I'm coming with you," John told him without looking up. "I need to do something to help."

Ianto and the Doctor looked to Jack, who studied John carefully. "Okay, you're in," he agreed. "But you do exactly what I tell you to."

"Yes, sir," he gave the ghost of a smile and leaned back again. "Cardiff then?"

Jack swallowed and nodded, squeezing Ianto's hand again. "Cardiff."


	22. Chapter 21

**Author's note:** *Flails happily* I did it!!! I did it I made it I did am on 51921 words at the end of this chapter. *Runs around and hugs everyone* Thank you all so, so much.

*Deep breath* Calm, I am calm. Thanks to Monty's, the best write in location ever, and to Jules, who gave me the very start of this chapter. And, of course, to Lizzy, without whom I would be dreadfully dull.  


* * *

It was a dark and stormy night. The wind and rain lashed at Analyn fiercely and she wrapped her coat tighter around herself, thrusting her hands back into her pockets as fast as she could and wishing that it made any difference. She hurried around the Plass, skirting around the area where the explosion had been. It was months now since it had been cleared of the debris – rumour had it that there had been some sort of secret development below the Plass, and that it had taken so long to clear not because of the danger like they'd said, but because they had been rebuilding the base. Of course, that was silly, but everyone still avoided walking across the space if they could help it.

A fierce gust of wind caught her hood and blew it back off her head, making her shriek loudly. As she pulled it back up, she looked around to make sure that no one had heard her – even though someone standing next to her would have been unlikely to have heard it. Four men standing around talking appeared to prove her right, as they didn't even seem to notice her. One was standing out in the weather, face turned up into the rain and loving it. Another was standing on his own, shoulders shrugged against the elements as the coat he was wearing was clearly no protection. The other two men were stood close together – very close together, she amended, as she carried on walking and the changing perspective revealed that one was actually tucked under the other's coat, a big long black thing that was very 'de mode'.

The one who seemed unbothered by the weather started walking towards her and she realised that she'd been spotted. She hesitated and considered hurrying on and pretending that she'd not seen him, but it was soaking out and if they stayed out long they'd catch their deaths – oh God, she'd turned into her mother. "Hi," she set off towards him and smiled, gritting her teeth against the cold. "Are you alright?"

"What? Oh, yes," he grinned. "Absolutely fine. Brilliant, in fact, we're brilliant. Look, what year is it?"

She blinked and sighed. So that's why he wasn't bothered by the weather. "It's January the sixteenth, two thousand and eleven. And it's twenty..." she checked her watch. "Twenty four minutes past five, and oh shit I'm due to meet my friend at Monty's in six minutes..."

"What's her name?" the stranger asked.

"Lizzy, it's Lizzy," she told him, backing away. "Look, it's chucking it down out here, you'll drown. Come to Monty's, they do wonderful hot chocolate."

He turned to his friends and beckoned. "We're been told," he grinned. "To Monty's."

She rolled her eyes and sighed into her scarf, realising that they would probably come and sit with her and Lizzy now and disturb their writing. Ah well, she could always steal them to use as characters. "I'm Ally," she told them. "Now come on, I'm freezing."

She didn't look around to see if they were following her, and she didn't really care. Monty's wasn't far away, but she was cold, wet and hungry, and damnit she wanted hot chocolate with squirty cream and marshmallows and hopefully chocolate sprinkles. The man who'd approached her caught up with her, though, and strolled along casually compared to her scuttle. "So what's Monty's, then?" he asked.

"It's a cafe," she told him sharply. "We meet up there as often as possible to do writing sessions – it's a year long writing challenge this year."

"What, like National Novel Writing Month?" he asked.

She glanced at him in surprise and nodded, hurrying to replace her hood when the action shook it off. "Same organisation," her hand gestures amused him, apparently.

The others caught up with her and they all increased their pace, with a small yelp from Ally, as a fresh squall of rain drenched them further. She was beyond happy to take off her soaking coat and scarf when she got through the door into the cafe. Lizzy was settled in their corner, where a group of chairs and sofas around a low table made the perfect snug for a writing group, and there were two hot chocolates and two slices of cake on the table in front of her. Ally ignored the newcomers and dropped onto the sofa next to Lizzy, hugging her and peering down at her screen. "How's it been today?"

"Bad times," she smiled up at Ally as she settled herself more comfortably. "Actually had to work today."

"What a bizarre idea," Ally told her with raised eyebrows, then lowered her voice and muttered, "the guys who just came in with me, I have no idea who they are, but one of them asked me what year it was."

Lizzy looked up and did a double-take. "Well you know who the really good looking one is, surely? And the other really good looking one?"

Ally studied the group and looked away fast when the chatty one looked at her. "Oh come on Lillibet, narrow it down a bit?"

She rolled her eyes and patted Ally on the head, then sobered and stared at the group again. "Hang on, he died!"

"Who did?"

"The... the... short dark hair, cute nose, pale grey shirt over black T shirt and oh God he's looking at me..." she turned back to Ally with wide eyes. "He died, Alls, he died. The one in the coat still, he was the head of Torchwood, and the other one was his boyfriend, and he was at Thames House... you have no idea what I'm talking about, have you?"

"I know what happened at Thames House!" Ally protested. "I just... don't understand Torchwood. I'm new here!"

"Yeah, I know," she glanced around again and turned back to her writing. "They're coming, messages on Word?"

"Gotcha," she agreed, dragging her laptop out.

The not-dead one and the one with the coat sat down on the sofa opposite them, holding hands, whilst the chatty one and the cold one dropped into armchairs. Trisha brought over a tray of drinks and cakes and the group leaned in to get their own. The chatty one turned to her with a grin and reached his hand across. "Hello there, Ally, I'm the Doctor."

"Hi," she smiled nervously. "Ally, Lizzy," she pointed at them and raised her eyebrow at the others.

"Ianto," Lizzy pointed across at him. "Looking surprisingly good, considering you've been dead eighteen months."

Ianto looked suddenly scared and turned to his boyfriend, who shook his head. "It was a mix-up, we weren't able to keep track of everyone, and we thought that Ianto was there when he wasn't," he explained. "He was injured, though..."

"I see," she nodded. "Well, I'm glad you're back on your feet, Ianto. And I guess that that makes you... Harkness?"

"You know rather a lot about us," he commented with a smile, showing that he didn't really mind, then told her, "Jack. Pleased to meet you."

"You're Torchwood," she shrugged. "I know very, very little about you, really."

"That's good," he grinned. "Although still too much about a secret organisation."

"So vanish me," she mimed a firework in front of her face and he chuckled.

"I was thinking more along the lines of employing you."

"Jack!?" everyone looked at him in shock, and Ianto glanced back at her, then back to him. "Are you sure?"

He shrugged. "Most training at Torchwood is on the job anyway, it's not like I usually look at people's Cvs."

Ianto rolled his eyes and pointed at the last of the four. "That's John, and this is the longest I've known him to stay quiet."

John looked up at Ianto. "We're been followed," he announced.

The atmosphere turned cold and hard suddenly, and even Ally and Lizzy found themselves leaning in. "Who?"

"I don't know," he muttered and looked around. "But they're close."

They all turned to look at Lizzy and she held her hands up. "Not sinister, just nozy, honest!"

John nodded without looking up. "She's clear, I checked her," he wiggled his wrist at them – it had some complex computer system in a wide leather band. "But I think that whoever it is is in here..."

"How long has this place been open?" Jack asked. "It's new, isn't it?"

"Three months," Ally told him. "The owner's new in town..."

"Jack, the same person's walked past the window in the same direction three times," Ianto told him.

"Shit," Jack said quietly, pulling his sleeve up to reveal a similar device to John's. "Shit! It's a time lock."

Ianto's hand came to rest on his knee and squeezed it, and he leaned in even further. "What can we do?"

"We need to find out who set it," the Doctor instructed. "Ianto?"

"On it," he stood up, but Jack didn't let go of his hand. He bent down and kissed him briefly and, much though they felt they ought to look away, the girls were cheering for a continuation. "I'll talk coffee, I promise I'll be careful."

Jack nodded and let him go, but gave the Doctor a dark look. "What about us?"

"We need to find the device," he looked around. "John, the men's toilets are on the far side of the shop, can you scan for the device with your wriststrap?"

"I can," he stood up and headed off in the direction Ianto had taken," I'll beep you if I find anything, Jack."

Jack nodded and looked at the Doctor. "And me?"

The Doctor tilted his chin up and still managed to nod as he made his decision. "You're their target, Jack, we need to keep you out of the way."

Jack nodded stiffly and looked away. "I understand."

A couple at a table around the corner were standing and collecting their things together and Lizzy tilted her head to them. "Are they about to discover that we're locked in?" she asked.

The Doctor half stood, then sat down again. "Probably," he groaned. "Oh... it's moving too fast."

Jack's wriststrap computer beeped and their gazes swung around to him as he flipped it open. "He's found it," they stood up and Lizzy and Ally followed. "Ladies, you should stay out of this."

"You just hired us!" Ally pointed out indignantly. "And you did say that the training was all on the job."

Whatever response Jack was abut to give was cut off by a gunshot. There was deathly silence for a second whilst everyone evaluated the correct response, then the screaming started. Jack's face had turned pale suddenly, and as soon as he unfroze he bolted around the corner to where the gunshot had come from, with the Doctor, Ally and Lizzy in hot pursuit. By the counter, Jack was kneeling on the floor, staring up into the barrel of a gun with Ianto in his arms. There was blood everywhere, and Ianto was utterly still. Ally closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to ignore the tang of iron in the air. There was a crowd pushing against the doors, trying to get out, and a lot of people standing around with phones against their ears, trying to figure out why there was no signal. Outside, the world carried on regardless, whilst inside, all was chaos.

She slipped away and joined the crowd pushing for the door, keeping an eye on the tall, willowy figure threatening Jack. Well, it wasn't so much threatening as waiting, although what she was waiting for, Ally had no idea. She and Jack spoke in a foreign language; Jack in low, calm tones, and the woman in sharp barks. Finally, Ally heard the distinct click of the safety and did the only thing she could think of: she grabbed a brightly coloured, stripy teapot off the nearest table and smashed it over the strange woman's head.

Stillness radiated out from where the four of them were as the woman dropped in a graceless heap on the floor. Jack dragged his gaze from her as John appeared out of nowhere and collected the gun off the floor and turned it to Ianto, shifting his hold on him and holding him more securely. Ally closed her eyes and turned away, devastated that her bravery had come too late to save him – he was so young, and he'd survived before...

A gasp behind her made her turn, and she found Ianto clinging onto Jack, with Jack cradling his head against his shoulder and crying into his hair. The Doctor smiled at her and gave her a 'don't ask' shrug, then slipped behind the counter. "Ally, a hand please?"

She skirted around the blood pool – so it had definitely happened – and joined him behind the counter as he pulled out every teapot and started dropping teabags into them. She got the idea and started filling the teapots with hot water. "Lizzy," she called, "can you get everyone settled back down and make sure they're not hurt."

"Yeah, sure," Lizzy backed away from flustering over Jack and Ianto and, between the, she and John got everyone sat down. She had first aid training enough to deal with the shock that most of the customers were feeling, whereas Ally was capable of filling teapots with hot water and not dropping them – just about.

As everyone calmed down, Jack took Ianto out of the way to the snug corner. Ally went to take them a pot of tea, but she found them holding onto each other tightly – Jack curled up on the sofa with his head on Ianto's shoulder, playing with Ianto's fingers. She left them to it.

Finally, she joined John standing by the door and looked down at his wriststrap. "What does that do?" she asked curiously.

"It's a Vortex Manipulator," John didn't explain. "I used to be a Time Agent, probably still am, and it allows me to travel through time. It's got a lot of other neat tricks too."

"Like what?"

"Like... that alarm over the door isn't an alarm. It's the Time Lock mechanism," he told her. "I can disable it, and the world outside won't know that anything happened."

She carried on staring at the box and sighed. "Okay, let me clean the blood off the floor, first. They might notice that."

He whistled and grinned at her over his shoulder. "I could start to like you," he told her.

She winked and pulled the mop and bucket out of the kitchen. "You mean you don't already?"

"What do we do about her?" Lizzy asked with a gesture to the kitchen, where the shop's owner (who Ally called 'sinister woman' in her mind) was tied up. "The police will ask questions – this lot are."

"We're Torchwood," Jack told her as he, Ianto and the Doctor appeared from around the corner. "Cardiff police got used to it, I'm sure they can again."

"You mean it?" Lizzy asked, tilting her head on one side. "We're Torchwood?"

"If you want in," he offered. "You've passed the test."

"Oh, well if I'm known this was only a test, I'd have flailed and panicked," she told him lightly. "Ally?"

"I'm in," she grinned. "So, sir?"

He looked at the Doctor and folded his arms, a smile trying its best to show. "That's Captain, young lady. And now... John, let us out. Ally, you call the police and tell them that Torchwood are back on the scene."


	23. Chapter 22

**Author's note:** It's nearly over :( One more chapter after this and then the epilogue. Wordcount is 54843.

* * *

Jack watched his new team moving around the small cafe and felt hopeful. The Doctor was taking the time lock device apart on a table and making excited noises with John watching him, Ianto was behind the counter keeping the shop running whilst the staff pulled themselves back together, Ally was helping him and Lizzy was keeping an eye on the owner. He smiled further when Ianto caught his eye, and gave him a brief nod before heading through to the back room to interrogate their prisoner.

Lizzy was holding a mug and a stun gun threateningly – somehow, she contrived to make the mug look more threatening – and gave him a tight smile when he entered. "Captain?"

"You can drop the captain," he told her gently. "I'm just Jack. You go and give Ally and Ianto a hand and get the staff back together; but ask the Doctor and John to come through, will you?"

"Yep," she passed him the stun gun and the mug solemnly and brushed past him to get out, leaving him alone with the silent, glaring woman.

He sat down where she had been and set the weapons aside, then leaned forwards with his elbows on his thighs and his hands clasped loosely between his knees. They regarded each other in silence until the door opened again and the Doctor and John entered. Then she laughed bitterly. "Can't face me alone?" she asked.

"I don't want to hurt you," he told her with a glance at the Doctor. "And they have questions to ask you too."

"You think I'm going to answer?" she asked with a sneer.

Jack stood up and went to crouch in front of her in utter silence; his movements had got back their grace and ease, and he was reminiscent of a tiger on the prowl. He held her gaze and told her in careful, measured tones, "You killed someone I loved today, remember? Fortunately for you, he has the same... survival habit that I do, otherwise I don't think you would still be alive."

"You don't scare me," she told him. "You're not the monster you were when I knew you."

"I'll take that as a compliment," he stood up and went back to his seat. "So, tell me, how do you know me? And, more to the point, who are you?"

She tossed her head as much as she could in her uncomfortable position and fixed him with a glare. "You don't know me?"

"Nope," he confirmed. "But I'm a bit older than I was when we probably met, so remind me."

"Lucia Aldred," Lucia told him. "I was Burtya's wife."

"Burtya..." he frowned. "That's not familiar, either. I should point out at this point that the Time Agency stole two years worth of my memories, by the way. I found out something I shouldn't have."

She wasn't impressed. "You seduced him."

"You went to all that trouble because he cheated on you?" Jack asked, perplexed.

"No, only because he died for you," she snapped fiercely.

Jack fell silent and turned away, getting off his chair and going to the small window at the back of the kitchen. The Doctor watched him go and took his chair. "What happened?" he asked quietly. Across the room, Jack tensed up but said nothing.

Lucia fixed her gaze on Jack and bared her teeth in a snarl. "Burtya was partnered with him – I had just been promoted, so we weren't put together for that mission, and he," she nodded at Jack, the biggest movement she could make thanks to Lizzy's enthusiasm with the Duct Tape. "Calling himself Jacobyte Holster back then, had also just been promoted, and so got pulled into my place," she looked at John with her head on one side. "He'd just been promoted away from you, I seem to recall?" John nodded stiffly and she laughed. "He forgot you pretty quickly, didn't he? First or second message I got from Burtya, he'd seduced him. Did you know?"

"No," Jack answered, still staring blankly out of the window at the rain as it battered against it. "I wasn't in contact with anyone apart from control."

John looked devastated. "So that's when it started?"

"I think so," Jack admitted quietly. "But..." he shrugged.

The Doctor coughed to stop them, having kept his gaze fixed on Lucia. "And Burtya died?"

She dropped her head. "The mission went wrong..."

"They all did," Jack added bitterly. "They thought I was jinxed. I remember him now," he turned back to them. "We were sent to the San Fransisco earthquake to get some artwork or something, I forget what. The building was on fire when we got there, we couldn't get in there before. I don't know what went wrong... He shouldn't have died."

"He never made it out though, did he?" she asked bitterly. "I went back myself and found his body in the ruins. And you never stopped, did you? How many partners died for you? Because you were the Time Agency's poster boy, and no harm could be allowed to befall you."

"It wasn't his fault," John snapped at last without looking at Jack. "He never asked for that, he never even wanted it."

"And you still spring to his defence," she pointed out. "Even after what he did. You're back in his bed, I take it?" he ignored her.

The sound of sirens outside caught their attention and Jack turned away from the window. "I thought Ally told them that Torchwood were on the case."

"They did," John told him. "I was standing next to her."

"Not what I need today," he growled as he stalked out through the shop. The door burst open, letting the cold and the wet in, and he came to a sudden stop when he saw who else had come in.

Special Officer Gwen Cooper raised a hand to slap him as she approached him, then changed her mind at the last second when he flinched and tucked herself into his arms instead, pressing her wet face into his chest and clutching at his shirt when his arms came up to hold her. "Jack, you bastard," she whispered vehemently. "You left! I needed you, and you left..."

"You didn't need me," he told her gently. "You never have," he looked up at Ianto and swore under his breath at the dark look Lizzy was giving him as Ianto disappeared. "Look, there's something you need to know... come sit down."

They sat at a table and Gwen tipped the pot of sugar packets out onto the table, then started stacking them into a house. "I didn't think you'd come back, Jack," she told him quickly, before he'd figured out how to start. "I mean, after... after Ianto," she whispered, "when you left, I really didn't think you'd be able to come back, unless... how long has it been?"

He chuckled and took some of the sugars off her, adding them in to the house. "It's complicated. The thing is, I'm not back alone."

"You found someone else?" she looked surprised but delighted. "I'm happy for you, Jack, really... you deserve happiness."

"It's a bit more complicated than that," he sighed and stood up. "Wait here, but remember when I come back that nothing is as it seems."

He hurried to the counter and leaned across it to talk to Lizzy. "Old friend of mine... Where is he?"

She flicked her gaze to him darkly and carried on drying the mug in her hands. "Went to the toilet, he said."

Jack sighed and thanked her, then went to try the gents' toilets. The interior door was locked, and he tapped on it gingerly. "Ianto, is that you, or am I making a prat of myself?"

"The answer is possibly both," Ianto told him sharply as he opened the door. He leaned in the doorway with his arms and legs crossed and refused to look at Jack. "Old flame?"

Jack's eyes stung and he turned away, hurt. "She worked with me and Ianto, back in the day," he told him. "If you come over in a bit, I'll explain to her how you got here," Ianto called his name apologetically, but he ignored him and went back to Gwen. "Sorry about that," he smiled tightly. "You know how the Battle of Canary Wharf happened, don't you? The parallel universes colliding?"

"Yeah," she confirmed. "And they were sealed off."

"That one was," he smiled crookedly. "But there are others, and I met up with the Doctor, he's in the kitchen, by the way, with John Hart and someone who wants to kill me..."

"Hang on, John hart is in the kitchen and there's someone different who wants to kill you?"

"Don't, Gwen, please..." he rested his head in his hands and looked back over his shoulder when a hand rested on it. Gwen's stare had given it away, and he looked up at Ianto as she pushed herself away from her seat and threw herself into his arms, sobbing now. Jack met Ianto's eyes and saw the apology in them, but he wasn't ready to accept it yet – they had to work out the issues that had caused it first; he couldn't imagine why Ianto would distrust him like that. If he'd done something to cause it, they had bigger problems than he'd thought. He rubbed Gwen's back and smiled sadly. "Gwen, Ianto, this Ianto, is from a parallel universe," he explained, seeing Ianto relax as soon as he said it and hold Gwen properly, now that he wasn't pretending to be someone else. "I wouldn't have been able to come back without him," he confessed softly. "But he isn't the Ianto we knew."

She pulled back and looked up at him. "You still make coffee, right?" she checked.

"Yes," he told her, letting her go and stepping back to put his hands in his pockets. "Definitely with the coffee."

She laughed tearfully. "That's alright then. Right, Jack," she turned business-like. "What have you been doing to the population of Cardiff?"

"Nothing!" he protested. "Although one of my new team members clobbered a Time Agent who was waiting here for us with a teapot."

"He was waiting with a teapot?"

Jack sighed and stood up to hug her again. "No, Gwen, the Time Agent runs – ran – this place. Ally knocked her out with a teapot when she was about to shoot me."

"Right..." Gwen laughed and started crying again. "Torchwood, it's mad."

"It is," he agreed as he led her back to the table and sat her down. When he sat opposite her, Ianto sat down next to him and Jack finally took his hand on the table. "So, Mrs Cooper, or is it Mrs Williams these days?"

"Still Cooper, thank you."

"Well then, what's the situation?"

She started picking up the scattered sugar sachets and rebuilding her house. "There isn't a Torchwood in Cardiff. Anything major is dealt with by UNIT, and there's a police team who cover anything minor like the weevils. The Rift Manipulator was destroyed, and although the Hub infrastructure has been rebuilt, there's no one on Earth, that we've found, who can rebuild the manipulator. The Rift is wild and unpredictable."

"We may have someone who can help with that," Jack reassured her. "And you? There's always room at Torchwood for you."

"Not me," she told him with a firm shake of her head. "Never again. I've... after you left, everything that Torchwood had given me, it took away again. It wasn't worth it anymore."

"I understand," he reached across and squeezed her hand. "So you're back with the police."

"Yeah, well, I couldn't let the city go completely unprotected, could I now?" she smiled brightly. "I've got a baby to protect, after all."

"Of course," Jack beamed. "Boy or girl? They'd be, what nine months old now?"

"A girl," she grinned. "I wanted Ifana, but Rhys insisted on Andrea – she's usually Annie."

"Little Annie," Jack laughed happily. "I'm really happy for you, bother of you," he thought about it. "All three of you."

"And I'm happy for you two," she told them." Although I can't get my head around it. I don't know which is harder to believe, that Ianto's alive again, or that you're not him."

Jack smiled at Ianto and leaned into him slightly. "I find that it's easier not to think about it," he admitted. "Once you get to know him, it's easier to believe that they're two different people."

"Yeah?" Gwen asked.

"Yeah, this one swears more," he teased him. "Still looks good in a suit, though."

Ianto shook his head and smiled at the stranger across from him. "I've never seen you before in my life, Gwen. I'd never met Jack before, either."

"He's lucky he's magnetic, isn't he?" she winked, and let her smile soften. "Don't hurt him, Ianto. "Oh God," she realised. "What about Rhiannon?"

"We're coming to that bridge," Jack interjected quickly. "Have you seen her lately?"

"Yeah, we see each other quite often. She's got a little boy not much younger than Annie."

Jack's heart constricted with guilt. "I didn't know... I should have gone to check on her more."

"You did what you could, Jack," Gwen told him gently. "I know how much she reminded you of him."

Jack swallowed and Ianto squeezed his hand. "We're going to see her tomorrow, she's not moved, has she?"

"Yeah, she has. She's living in Ianto's house now... oh Jack," she covered her mouth. "That was..."

"Yeah," he shook his head. "I'll cope," he sighed. "Just one of those things," he looked at Ianto thoughtfully and flashed him a smile when his look turned questioning.

"I think we should have a look at the Hub," he suggested.

"Right," Gwen nodded. "I'll show you around."

* * *

The group, made up of the Doctor, Jack, Ianto, John, Ally and Lizzy with Gwen leading them, stood in what had been the work area of the Hub and looked around. Gwen had had it rebuilt almost exactly, but it was still devoid of furnishings. Jack's eyes kept drifting to what had been his office, and Gwen nudged him. "Go on. The lockdown protected the archives, and everything we could save from in here is down there. What I could save from your office is all together, but... Your bunker wasn't affected."

He nodded distractedly. "It shouldn't have been," he mused. "It was built to withstand a direct nuclear hit."

"Go on, all your stuff down there, I've not touched it. I just opened the hatch to check."

Jack glanced at her gratefully and hurried off. Ianto made to follow him, but hesitated, and Gwen nodded. "Go on."

He nodded and followed Jack through into the empty room that Gwen had told them had been jack's office, and found that Jack had opened a manhole in the floor and descended into the tiny room below. Ianto sat next to the hole and leaned to the side, so that he could rest on one elbow and look down into the hole. "You lived here?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah," Jack answered him without looking up. "Not officially, but mostly. There's still a lot of Ianto's stuff down here, I..."

He choked off and Ianto slipped carefully down through the hole into the room to rest a hand on Jack's shoulder. When Jack grabbed at his hand, Ianto slipped it down his side and slipped his arms around Jack's waist, holding him tightly and pressing his cheek against Jack's. "Two of you down here, really?" he asked slightly incredulously.

Jack laughed tearfully and turned in his arms to bury his face in Ianto's shoulder. "He used to sound like that whenever I suggested it," he lifted his head and rested his chin on Ianto's shoulder instead. "I miss him, Ianto. I miss him so much. Some days... it's all I can think about, that I took him in there an I killed him. And now, being back here," he shook his head. "I don't know if I can do this, Ianto. It's still too raw, I'm so scared that I'll hurt you like I hurt him."

"I won't let you," he smiled into Jack's hair. "I promise, we'll be alright."

"We have to be," Jack told him. "We're all we've got."

"Yeah, but that's something, isn't it?" he pulled back and looked Jack in the eye. "I'm sorry about earlier, with Gwen... I didn't really think that you and she... well..." he bit his lip. "I was just scared that being back here, where you have friends and history... I was worried that I'd be one too many memories for you."

Jack shook his head and pulled Ianto back against him fully, carding his fingers through thick, dark, gel free hair – it was different, so much was different. "Like it or not, Ianto Jones, you're the man that I love," he grew serious and sincere. "I need you with me, wherever you go, I'll go too."

Ianto's kiss was soft, chaste and tentative. Jack leaned into it and enjoyed the simple press of lips, that connection and closeness, so close that he thought he could feel Ianto's eyelashes against his cheek. They held each other in the darkness of Jack's bunker until Gwen's voice dragged them out and back to the TARDIS where, with a shy smile, Ianto disappeared to his own room and left Jack to smile at his ceiling.


	24. Chapter 23

**Author's Note:** Wow... It's nearly over. Out of interest, how on Earth did I fail to get a chapter up the day I had a write in? Huh? Anyway. Last chapter, just the epilogue to go =[ but... The epilogue is smutty... It will probably be just T rated, but it's not work safe, let's put it that way :) (You're all wanting me to post it now, aren't you...)

Dedicated to Lizzy for being win and squishable.

* * *

_Intense heat and choking smoke, it was so dark considering the heat, which he knew came from the flames. Around them, San Fransisco burned gold and black. He had the manuscript in a fireproof box, ready to take with them – he groped in the darkness for his partner and found him, he had the painting, they were ready to go. Swirling, buffeting light and sudden, blissful cool, and Jack was standing alone. Alone, always alone. Stars wheeling and spinning above him but alone. Where was he? He had to go back, he had to..._

_Back in the burning building, heat and pressure and intense darkness and roaring and pain. He couldn't stay, he couldn't find him, he couldn't leave him. Tears streaked through the soot on his face as he left again and fell choking to the ground. The smoke had been too intense, too thick, he couldn't breath, he was choking and drowning in the effects of the virus. The grass was hard marble below his hands and Ianto was beside him, cold and still and draped in flame red._

He sobbed and struggled to breathe, clutching at the quilt and fighting to push it away. It was pulled away from him and cold air hit his bare arms, chilling him suddenly. Still trapped in the dream, he shuddered fiercely and choked out a sob, growing more desperate as he fought for breath. Ianto was calling his name, calling for help...

"Jack, please wake up," he was saying. "It's just a dream, I promise, Jack!"

He shuddered and released his grip on the quilt, taking steadying breaths until he could speak again. "Thank you," he turned his head to the side to look up at Ianto, bathed in golden light from the half-open door onto the corridor.

Ianto nodded hesitantly. "I heard you crying..."

"Nightmare," he rolled over, away from Ianto, and sat up. "You couldn't sleep?"

He shook his head and his eyes widened when Jack held his hand out. "Jack?" but he took Jack's hand and sat down on the bed.

Jack lay back down and pulled the quilt up over them both, glad that Ianto had left the door open slightly, because it meant that he could see him without waiting for his eyes to adjust. He didn't let go of Ianto's hand, but shifted slightly closer, laying their joined hands on the pillow between them. Ianto shifted their grip so that their fingers were laced together and looked from their hands into Jack's eyes. He moved closer still and lifted his other hand to touch Jack's cheek lightly and rub his thumb across it, feeling the dampness. "Jack?"

He hushed him and caught Ianto's hand off his cheek, kissed his fingers and leaned in so that his breath ghosted across Ianto's face. Ianto's pulse raced and he stroked the back of Jack's hand with his thumb. Jack smiled softly. "I'm just about to kiss you," he warned him.

"Good," Ianto told him, slightly wide eyed and utterly still and serious.

Jack didn't laugh, instead he took his and Ianto's hands – the ones that weren't on the pillow – to Ianto's cheek and down to his chin, titled it up and leaned close enough to kiss him gently, eyes fluttering closed as their lips touched. He kept it soft and gentle, light pressure of lips moving together as his hand slipped down to Ianto's neck, his thumb stroking against his hand and his collarbone. It was Ianto who took it further when his lips parted and his tongue flickered at Jack's lips. Jack let him in and let him set the pace, stroking his tongue against Ianto's gently and opening to him. His head was spinning when Ianto broke away and rested their cheeks together, his breath hot and damp against Jack's ear. "Jack, I can't..."

"Hey," Jack gathered him into his arms and rolled onto his back so that Ianto's head was pillowed on his upper arm and he had that arm wrapped around his shoulders and the other around his waist, his hand splayed in the small of Ianto's back. "It's okay. I won't push you."

Ianto sighed and relaxed and his hand swept up to rest on Jack's chest. "I want you, Jack," he told him in a whisper. "I'm just..."

"You're allowed to be nervous," Jack reassured him. "God knows, I am."

"Then I'm nervous," Ianto breathed, clutching at Jack's hand when it covered his own. "We have the chance for something that lasts, and oh God it had to be with a man..."

"Does that bother you?" Jack asked gently.

"No, it would bother me a lot if I had a chance for something lasting and I didn't find you attractive," he confessed. "But how long are we going to have to wait for people to accept us?"

Jack smiled and kissed the top of his head. "Are you worried about Rhiannon?"

"Yeah," he admitted. "I don't know how she'd take it."

"She accepted me," Jack told him. "Blamed me for his death, but accepted me as his partner," Ianto shuddered in his arms and he rubbed his thumb over his hand. "Sleep, I'll be here."

"Jack," Ianto whispered. "I'm not really nervous about that."

"Then what's worrying you?" he asked.

"Just... us," he confessed. "It's so weird and confusing and there's so much in the way, but I love you, and I don't want... I don't want to get more in love with you and then find that you can't take it, can't take how weird it is," he tucked his head down further against Jack's arm and sighed. "And there's all the usual new relationship jitters."

Jack kissed the top of his head again and closed his eyes. "We have a lot to be scared of," he admitted. "But we have hope too, don't we?"

"We have hope," Ianto grinned against Jack's shoulder. "We're both here, aren't we? Snuggling in your bed..."

"We are," Jack agreed. "And I have to say, you're lovely and warm, but I'm getting a numb shoulder."

"Oh," he sat up hurriedly. "I can go..."

"Not a chance," Jack told him hurriedly, "come back here."

He lay down next to Jack and rolled onto his side when Jack pushed him, then felt Jack roll behind him and Jack's arms wrapped around his waist, with Jack's cheek pressed against his shoulder. "That's better," Jack muttered.

"Go to sleep," Ianto grinned into the pillow. "I'm not going to talk until the morning."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Sounds like it," Jack teased.

"I'm not talking," he insisted. "Go to sleep."

"I'm sleeping," he could feel Jack smiling against the back of his neck. "Night."

"Night, Jack."

Ianto stared at the light falling on the floor of Jack's room and enjoyed the feeling of being held and treasured and loved. It had been so long since he'd held someone through the night – longer still since someone had held him the way Jack did, the way he was doing now. Triss, though he still missed her, was just the ghost of a memory now – she hadn't stuck around long after she found out that he couldn't die and didn't age – and she was tiny, just a slip of a girl who nearly vanished when he hugged her. He'd wanted someone he could protect, not someone who could protect him. The last person to look after him like this had probably been... Who? Someone in London? A girlfriend, had he had one? Maybe even a boyfriend, or was it just Jack? If he'd had one, they hadn't been serious – he could still remember it being easy to leave everything in London and run back to Cardiff, too little too late.

Maybe it had been Rhiannon, when their dad died. He'd stood strong at the funeral by shutting himself off from everyone, but before, when they'd stood at his bedside for the last time, he could remember clinging to her then. He'd felt so betrayed – his dad was supposed to be his hero, but he'd seemed like nothing. Now Ianto looked at him with envy, because he'd had the life that Ianto never could.

Jack's hand brushed down his arm and squeezed his wrist gently. "You're thinking too hard," he murmured, his breath stirring the hairs on the back of Ianto's neck. "You okay?"

Ianto sighed and relaxed again as he let Jack pull him even closer, then he squirmed around and faced Jack, burrowing back into his arms and tucking his head under his chin. "I miss my dad," he admitted softly. "And Mum, and Rhiannon."

"I'm sorry about your dad," Jack told him with a sigh, then squeezed him gently. "If you want to talk about him?" he let the offer trail off.

Ianto shook his head. "I just want a fresh start," then he pulled back to look up at Jack. "With you."

Jack ducked his head and caught Ianto's lips in a searing kiss. He slowed and pulled back when Ianto started crying and sat up in bed, pulling Ianto up with him and holding him tight, feeling his T shirt growing damp with Ianto's tears. Closing his eyes tightly, he fought back his own tears and whispered reassurances to him. Eventually Ianto's tears dried, but he didn't move from Jack's hold, just settled more comfortably against him and let him move back to lean against the wall, resting his head against Jack's shoulder and wrapping his arms around his waist. They held onto each other gently now, the desperation of before slipping away as they realised that, in each other, they had everything they needed. The thought was enough to bring tears back to Jack's eyes and he squeezed Ianto joyfully. Ianto chuckled and kissed his shoulder, squeezing him back. "I don't want to move," he complained. "But I really, really need to piss."

Jack laughed and kissed his temple before he released him and stretched lazily whilst Ianto stood up and headed for the small door in the corner of the room. "We should probably get up, anyway," he mused reluctantly without making any attempt to move. "One more momentous day, then we can settle down to merely saving the world on a daily basis."

Ianto smiled as he leaned half around the doorframe, resting his cheek against it. "You want to get changed whilst I'm in here, then?"

"Yeah," Jack groaned and stood up. He went to his wardrobe and winked over his shoulder at Ianto. "Unless you want to watch?" The only reply he got was a laugh and the door shutting behind Ianto, and he grinned as he sorted through and found a pair of dark jeans, a bright T shirt and a black jacket. Once he was dressed, he knocked on the bathroom door and leaned against it. "I'm decent," he told the door. "You're safe."

He nearly fell through into the bathroom when Ianto opened the door suddenly, and Ianto laughed so hard that he had to sit down on the edge of the bath. Jack smiled wryly and turned away with a chuckle. "I'm going to go and do breakfast," he offered. "What do you fancy?"

Ianto caught up with him and wrapped his arms around his waist, pressing a laughing kiss against Jack's neck. "You!" he stated cheerfully, letting go of Jack as they got out onto the corridor. "I have no preferences," he answered. "I'm going to go and get dressed, I'll be back shortly."

"You look fine the way you are," Jack called after him, "and don't call me shortly," he chuckled as he stepped into the kitchen and flashed a bright smile at John and the Doctor. "Morning, breakfast? I'm doing bacon sandwiches."

The Doctor had a mug of tea in front of him and accepted his offer. John, though, shook his head. "I've eaten, thanks," he turned his mug on the table and glanced up at Jack. "I went to wake Ianto this morning..."

"Oh?" he pulled the bacon from the fridge and put the frying pan onto the hob. "He was with me."

"Just checking," John told him. "I thought I heard him with you just now."

"You did," Jack confirmed. "He's just gone to get dressed."

"So you two..." Jack and the Doctor both turned to stare at him. "I'm just asking, I mean... you're getting on okay?"

"I didn't sleep with him, if that's what you're asking," he considered the statement as he turned back to the hob. "Well I did, actually. But that was all we did. I had a nightmare, he heard, he came to wake me up from it," he shrugged and grinned again, he couldn't help it. "Yes, we're getting on okay."

"Good," John smiled sadly into his mug. "Lucia called you Jacobyte Holster."

Jack frowned but didn't turn. "What of it?"

"Why did you choose that name?" he asked quietly.

Ianto appeared in the doorway just as Jack turned off the heat and turned around, leaning against the counter. "I don't remember," he admitted, pointing out, "it was a long time ago."

John nodded and didn't respond, so Jack turned his attention to Ianto, giving him an appreciative once over. "Very nice."

"You don't think it's too..." he shrugged and looked down at his faded black jeans and white shirt, open at the collar to reveal his black choker. "Too much, not enough?"

"Just be yourself," the Doctor told him gently. "Don't try to be who she expects."

Jack had turned back to the bacon and now finished them, taking them all over to the table on one plate and sitting down with one in his hands. "You look edible," he told him around a mouthful of bacon sandwich.

Ianto rolled his eyes but the smile returned to his face and he sat down next to Jack and reached for a sandwich. "You would think that," he pointed out. "But I'll believe you."

Jack smiled at him and stuffed the last of the sandwich into his mouth, then licked his fingers clean. "Okay, I need to explain to Rhiannon what's happened, first," he started, trying to keep his voice steady and not show how the idea of going back to that house and seeing Rhiannon again – especially after the last time – made him feel physically sick. It wasn't that he didn't want to see her, it was just... there were so many memories in that house, some of the happiest days of their relationship had been spent there. Days when Ianto had just slept in his arms, days when he had looked younger than his twenty six years instead of older, the days when he hadn't had to think about the fact that Ianto would one day be gone. He looked up across the table and smiled slightly at the new Ianto, the one who would never be taken away from him, but who knows how long he would stay out of choice?

"I'll do that," he told them, "and then I'll call you over."

"Assuming she wants to see me," Ianto added quietly.

"She will," he reassured him, fighting annoyance. Ianto didn't know that Jack had no family to refuse to see him, he didn't know how Rhiannon had blamed and cursed Jack the few times he risked her ire after Ianto's death. He would probably find out soon though. Jack pushed back from the table and headed for the door, resting a hand on Ianto's shoulder gently as he passed.

Ianto caught his wrist and stood gracefully, caught Jack's waist and kissed him quickly. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "And thank you."

Jack sighed softly and kissed him once more, then released him. "Anything for you," he promised.

He made the trip out onto the street alone; he needed the time to gather his thoughts together and decide what he was going to tell Rhiannon. The easiest option would be to tell her similar to what he'd told Lizzy and Ally, that he'd survived and Jack hadn't known, but hadn't she seen Ianto? Of course she had, it had been open casket, how could he forget? So not that then.

There was always the 'this is Torchwood, and stuff like this happens', but he remembered a screaming match with her when he'd told her it wasn't possible, that they had lost him forever. No, it would have to be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

"Last time I tried that, I ended up sentenced to eternal imprisonment," he muttered darkly. Steeling himself, he crossed the road from where the Doctor had parked the TARDIS the night before and climbed the steps to what had been his own front door with leaden feet. Some part of him, a large part of him, hoped that she would be out, but he heard her yell, could picture her coming out of the kitchen and down the narrow hall, those slippers she wore (and threw at him on one notable occasion) slipping on the polished tiles. He closed his eyes as put his hands in his pockets, glancing back over his shoulder at the TARDIS as she opened the locks. "Hi, Rhiannon," he didn't dare a smile.

Her warm expression turned icy as soon as she saw who it was, and he saw her move to plant her foot behind the door. "What do you want?" she demanded. "I told you last time, I don't want you around here."

He clenched his fists in his pockets and gritted his teeth, looked back over his shoulder for a second and then faced her fully. "Rhiannon, I know you hate me, I know I was never good enough for Ianto, I know I should have insisted on meeting you and made him see you more often before he died. I know all that. But I also know that I loved Ianto – I still do – and he loved me, and I will not apologise for that."

She glared at him and made to slam the door. "You're back, great, now stay away from my family."

He shoved his boot in the way and slammed his palm against the wall. "I found him," he ground out.

She stopped pushing the door against his foot and pulled her cardigan tighter. "What do you want, Harkness?"

He looked back at the TARDIS again. "There are parallel universes, sometimes they collide. They did not long ago, and the Ianto from that universe fell through into this one. Now he and I are back in Cardiff, because he wants to see you."

"You sick..." she started, but he pulled away suddenly and walked towards the TARDIS. "Where are you going?" she called.

"To get him," he snapped. "I'll be right back," he waited until he was inside the TARDIS to call Ianto and just left him a dropped call to let him know. Soon he heard Ianto's bootsteps down the corridor and he emerged into the console room. "Hey," he greeted quietly.

Ianto slowed his pace, then hurried again and pulled Jack into a hug, holding him as he sagged and dropped his head onto his shoulder. "What's the matter? Is she..."

Jack squeezed his waist and lifted his head, resting his chin on his shoulder instead. "She's fine," he reassured him. "She hates me."

"I'm sure she..."

"Ianto," he snorted. "She hates me. She blamed me for the fact that she never saw Ianto, and for his death – which is fair enough – and for global warming."

"Now you're being daft," Ianto told him.

"Yeah, you're right, I share the blame for global warming with Jeremy Clarkson," he sighed and released Ianto, taking his hand and leading him out of the TARDIS. Ianto stopped again as they got out onto the street, and Jack looked up to see Rhiannon staring at Ianto with her arms wrapped tightly around her. He let go of Ianto's hand and stood back to lean on the TARDIS whilst Ianto ran across the road and met Rhiannon on the pavement, hugging her tightly. Jack closed his eyes and sighed, letting the sound of birds and traffic lull him.

Somewhere out there, Alice was going about her life – he hoped. Just existing, a life totally devoid of purpose. Did she realise that that's what his life had been like after her mother took her away? Did she realise, as someone she trusted ripped away everything she lived for, that the mother she adored had done it too? How fucked up was their family?

Ianto called his name and he was walking before he'd even opened his eyes. The two were standing uncomfortably on the doorstep now, both unwilling to leave and unwilling to stay, and Ianto held out his arm in an invitation which Jack happily accepted, moulding into his side. Rhiannon eyed him darkly, but gave him a smile of greeting, more for Ianto's benefit than either of theirs. "Jack," she bit her lip. "Thank you."

He nodded and squeezed Ianto's waist. "My pleasure," he told her. "Are you ready?" he asked Ianto.

Ianto nodded and smiled at him, leaning into him more. "Yeah, work to do," he agreed.

"Yeah," Jack smiled at Rhiannon and slid away from Ianto to take his hand instead. "Good to see you again, Rhiannon. Congratulations, I understand?"

She nodded. "Thank you. If... you should come around and meet her sometime, both of you," she added. "The kids would like to see you again too, Ianto. Micah... she never really believed that you were gone. And David will believe me if I tell him it's aliens."

Ianto smiled and pulled her close again to hug her with his free arm but didn't let go of Jack's hand. Ir was Rhiannon who pulled Jack in to join them, and he rested his chin on top of her head, leaning his temple against Ianto's. "We'll come and see you all soon," Ianto promised, pulling back. "We have to go apartment shopping."

"We do?" Jack asked.

"Yes," Ianto insisted. "Quickly. We'll see you soon, Rhi."

They went back into the TARDIS and Jack set it into vortex flight, just so that Rhiannon wouldn't stand there watching it. He looked up at Ianto's idle fiddling and smiled softly. "How did it go?"

"Ish."

"Ish?"

"Yeah, ish..." he ran his hand through his hair and sank onto one of the seats. "She... she doesn't look at me as her brother," he admitted quietly. Jack came to crouch in front of him and rested a hand on his knee, and he covered the hand with one of his own. "But... she wants the kids to think that I am. Johnny will know, but the kids won't. I guess..."

"That's good," Jack stood up and pulled Ianto's head to rest against his stomach, running his fingers through his hair gently. "She couldn't get to know you for yourself if she treated you like you were him."

Ianto's hand rested on his him and his thumb rubbed the side of Jack's stomach lightly. "I want my sister back," he sighed. Looking up, though, he smiled and squeezed Jack's hip. "I'm so glad that the TARDIS brought me here, Jack," he told him.

Jack pulled him up and wrapped one strong arm around his waist, then cradled his cheek in the other palm and kissed him.


	25. Chapter 24

**Author's note:** I can't give you a final wordcount, because the NaNoWriMo wordcounter has now been taken down, but my official final score was 59647, and I have passed 60k. It has been an amazing ride, I have enjoyed it so much.

Dedications: To every single one of you who has reviewed this story - especailly to those who submitted anonymous reviews who I couldn't thank personally. More huge thanks to my Twitter friends, who poked and encouraged me through it.  
And a dedication for the whole story to Lizzy, who I love to bits and without whom the last year and twenty one days wouldn't have been nearly as much fun.

I have two sequels planned (well, I say planned) and also two spin-off stories, which I am hoping to get written to a standard where I can get them published. Keep an eye out for the stories of Rupert and Pablo and Captain Ward and her missus. Huge huge **huge** thanks once again for all your support, and I'm now going to go sit in a darkened room and come to terms with the fact that it's over.

* * *

Ianto knocked on Jack's door nervously and ran his hand through his hair. Jack had left the ball firmly in his court, walked him to his bedroom door and kissed him goodnight, holding him so close and so tight that Ianto knew that he wanted nothing more than to stay. And yet he had promised to wait for Ianto, so when Ianto had slowed the pace, pulled away and said goodnight, he'd still walked away happy. And Ianto had stopped, stared after him and disappeared into his room for five minutes to change into black jogging bottoms and a gray T shirt and padded through the corridors to Jack's room. Now, standing outside it, he felt as nervous as he must have on his first date.

Jack opened the door with a toothbrush in his mouth and beamed around it when he saw Ianto. He pushed the door open further to let Ianto in and held up a finger to indicate that he would be just a moment, then disappeared back into the bathroom to get rid of it. When he reappeared, toothbrushless, Ianto was sitting nervously on the edge of the bed, looking around. "It's bigger," he commented. "Than it was, I mean."

He leaned casually in the bathroom doorway, shirtless now, and Ianto couldn't help but stare. The easy smile, the sparkling laughter in his eyes, the broad, muscled planes of his chest, strong arms bent because of the way he had his hands in his pockets, showing his muscles. Ianto could feel Jack's arms around him and craved that feeling again. And Jack still waited there, watching him.

Ianto pushed up from the bed and covered the short distance to stand in front of Jack, resting his hand tentatively on Jack's chest. He didn't take his gaze from Jack's, except to flick it down to his lips occasionally, so he felt Jack's large, warm hand cover his own, and felt his thumb stroke across it gently. "I've never slept with a man before," he admitted quietly. "Should I be nervous?"

"Would you be nervous the first time you slept with a woman?" Jack asked gently, raising his hand to his lips and kissing it. His lips were so soft, nothing like he'd ever imagined a man's kiss would be.

Who was he kidding? Ianto had never imagined kissing a man until he'd met Jack, he was a twenty-first century boy through and through – he knew that two men could be as crazy about each other as Pablo and Rupert were, that two women could be as loyal to each other as Captain Ward was to her wife, that any number of people could love each other as dearly and as much as they could love one person. But never had he imagined that he could fall this hard for another man.

He pulled their hands out of the way and leaned in to kiss Jack gently, starting at the corner of his mouth and moving in to kiss him fully, opening his lips and flicking his tongue against Jack's lips. Finally, Jack moved, his arm snaked around Ianto's waist in that familiar way and he pulled Ianto against him fully, opening to him and kissing back with equal fervour. Ianto groaned and released Jack's hand, reaching around to tangle his fingers in his hair and gripping onto his hip with his other hand. He opened his mouth further and ran his tongue along the back of Jack's teeth, grinning when the action made Jack growl and press against him harder. He pulled Jack backwards towards the bed, bending his knees when he hit the edge of the bed and pulling Jack back on top of him.

As he braced himself above Ianto, Jack pulled away from his lips and kissed across his cheek, lacing his fingers in his hair and pulling gently to angle his head for easier access to his neck. He licked, bit and kissed at Ianto's pulse point, and Ianto melted underneath him, tipping his head back further with a groan. "Jack," he gasped. "Oh fuck."

"If that's what you want," Jack's lips moved against his skin as he teased, and then Jack was pulling away. Ianto followed him desperately, and Jack chuckled lightly as he reached down to tug at the bottom of Ianto's T shirt. "Gorgeous," he muttered when Ianto got the message and lifted his arms to help him.

Ianto flushed warm and pulled Jack back down to him, with just enough distance between them that he could run his hand down Jack's chest and feel the muscles moving beneath his skin as Jack supported himself above him. Jack squirmed to the side and lay beside Ianto, trailing his hand down Ianto's chest lightly, bending his head to kiss him lightly and then more determinedly, sucking at his skin and marking him. His hand, roaming across his stomach now, teased and tickled gently, and Ianto squirmed desperated until Jack's hand strayed below the waistband of his jogging bottoms. He fell absolutely still at that, barely even breathing, and Jack pulled back quickly. "Ianto, are you..."

"Jack, don't stop, please don't stop," he whispered as he reached up to Jack again, pulling him down to meet his lips. Jack acquiesced, and his hand stroked lower, those same teasing, gentle movements interspersed with firmer pulls and strokes, driving Ianto to distraction.

He grasped Jack's arm and turned his face into his shoulder, breathing heavily and slightly starry-eyed. "Not yet, not now," he gasped and rolled on top of Jack to kiss him, one hand pressed to Jack's warm chest and the other cupping his face. Without breaking the kiss, Jack held him tight and sat up, pulling Ianto up with him, and slid his hand down Ianto's side, slowing and becoming almost tentative as his hand slid under Ianto's waistband.

Ianto sighed against his mouth and pushed further into Jack's hold, rested his hand on Jack's hip and then pulled it down. At the action, Jack gasped and tightened the grip he had on Ianto's waist and thrust his tongue into Ianto's mouth, plundering and possessing him. He melted further into Jack's arms and shifted off him to push Jack's pyjama bottoms down, leaning in as much as he could so as not to break the kiss whilst he and Jack between them removed his bottoms as well. As soon as they were both naked, Ianto pulled Jack against him and explored Jack's body, first through touch and then through taste, trailing this hands along his smooth skin and following them with his mouth, biting, kissing and licking.

He had long ago stopped making comparisons to women, giving in to the sensations and emotions raging through him, but this, now, was very different. He'd taken Jack by surprise, he knew (a good surprise, apparently), and he smirked slightly as he bent to his task and felt Jack's fingers tangling in his hair. Through lowered lashes, he looked up at Jack and pulled back with a hand resting on his hip and rubbed it with his thumb gently. "You okay?"

Jack laughed breathily. "You're asking if I'm okay?" he asked slightly incredulously. "Come here."

With a slight wiggle, he slid up Jack's side and pressed his hands against his chest, leaning in to kiss him passionately. Jack held him gently, with one hand on his shoulder-blade and one between his waist and the small of his back, and he shifted his legs so that Ianto rested between them, opening himself to Ianto and inviting him in. His consciousness closed down to just Jack below him, the way he writhed and whimpered when Ianto moved his fingers, and then the way he felt around Ianto as he slid into him carefully. He was hot and tight, and when Ianto was settled fully inside him and Jack's arms were tight and strong around him, Ianto had a feeling that he had never felt more protected and safe. When he came apart in Jack's arms, Jack put him back together again with gentle caresses and kisses and then, wonderingly, Ianto did the same for him.

Jack didn't want to move – ever – Ianto was warm and comfortable against his side and his fingers tickled lazily against Jack's side, but they were both sticky and sweaty and one of them had to be proactive before they fell asleep, so he pushed gently at Ianto's shoulder and rolled away, then tugged Ianto upright. "Come on," he urged apologetically. "Long hot bath sound good?"

Ianto smiled at him slowly. "Long hot bath sounds like bliss," he agreed.

Jack pushed the bathroom door open and stopped suddenly, slipping his arm around Ianto's waist automatically as he stepped up beside him. "Wow."

"Your bathroom's grown too," Ianto commented, leaning in to look. The tiny room, just big enough to fit a full sized bath long the left hand side with a shower above and a sink and toilet opposite, not contained a walk in shower in the far corner, a counter stretching right along one wall with three sinks set into it and an elaborate Art Deco mirror above it and, in the middle of the room, a bubbling hot tub set into a similarly Art Deco tiled floor.

Jack stepped into the room and looked around in amazement, reaching out to touch the thick, fluffy towels over the towel rail and confirming that they were warm, then bent and dipped his hand into the water. He gave Ianto a 'come hither' glance over his shoulder and flicked water at him. "Well, are you coming?" he asked teasingly.

The tub was deceptively deep, but a ledge around the edge was wide enough to sit in comfort and set deep enough for the water to come up to their shoulders, whilst their legs could trail out in front of them and rest on the bottom. Jack leant against Ianto and rested his head on his shoulder, looping his arm across Ianto's waist and sighing contentedly when Ianto's arm wrapped around him and the fingers of his other hand trailed up and down his arm idly. Ianto's ankle hooked over his shin and he chuckled and turned his face further into his shoulder to kiss against his skin. Outside, the TARDIS was probably rearranging his room to be big enough and comfortable enough for both of them, and soon they would need to start looking for somewhere to live permanently in Cardiff – he wasn't going to put Ianto through life in the Hub... again. He swallowed and kissed Ianto's shoulder again, harder this time, and Ianto squeezed him lightly. "What are you thinking, Jack?" he asked softly.

"Don't put up with crap from me," he said sadly, "Ianto did too much, and I let him, and..."

"Jack," Ianto chided, anger flashing in him. "I'm not here just so that you can correct the mistakes you made before."

Jack shook his head desperately as Ianto pulled away from him, withdrawing the warm strength of his arm. "I didn't mean it like that!" he insisted, dropping his head back against the side and turning his face away from Ianto. "I just don't want to forget how important you are to me when Torchwood comes crashing back down on us. I let it take precedence too often."

Ianto had half stood, but he settled back down again and pulled Jack into his arms so that their heads leaned against each other and he could kiss him repeatedly. "I'm sorry, Jack. I promise, I won't take crap from you – my temper's far too short, but you've got to promise the same. If you just take it whenever I snap at you, I'll just keep doing it. We have to be equal," he finished gently.

Jack pulled back and framed his face with his hands, leaning in to kiss him. "We're going to fight," he admitted, insisting, "but we're worth fighting for, don't you think?"

Tilting his head to the side, Ianto drew Jack into another slower kiss. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't, Jack. And, you know, I'm finally glad that I'm immortal."

Jack chuckled. "It has its moments," he agreed softly. "So, so many of them."


End file.
